I Thought We'd Never Speak Again: The Road from Estrangement to Reconciliation - Hardcover

Davis, Laura

3.9

129 ratings by Goodreads

9780060197629: I Thought We'd Never Speak Again: The Road from Estrangement to Reconciliation

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 0060197625 ISBN 13: 9780060197629

Publisher: Harper, 2002

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In her classic books The Courage to Heal and Allies in Healing, Laura Davis helped millions cope with the trauma of child sexual abuse. Her supportive guide Becoming the Parent You Want to Be taught parents to create a vision for their families. Now, in I Thought We'd Never Speak Again, she tackles another critical, emerging issue: reconciling relationships sundered by betrayal, anger, and misunderstanding.

With her trademark clarity and compassion, Davis maps the reconciliation process through gripping firstperson stories of people who have reconciled under a wide variety of difficult circumstances. In these pages, parents reconcile with children, embittered siblings reconnect, estranged friends reunite, and war veterans and crime victims meet with their enemies. Davis weaves these powerful accounts with her own experiences reconciling with her mother after a long, painful estrangement.

Making a crucial distinction between reconciliation and forgiveness, Davis explains how people can make peace in relationships without necessarily forgiving past hurts. Step by step, she clarifies the qualities needed for reconciliation-including maturity, discernment, determination, courage, communication, and compassion. To help readers gauge their own readiness, she includes a self-assessment entitled "Are You Ready for Reconciliation?" as well as a special section called "Ideas for Reflection and Discussion."

On each page of this inspiring and instructive book, Laura Davis offers hope and help for reconciliation between individuals, and in the larger human family, sharing essential keys for resolving troubled relationships and finding peace.

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Review:

We've all been advised to forgive and forget, but rarely has anyone suggested a way to reconcile without necessarily forgiving. I Thought We'd Never Speak Again does. It covers every sort of contention, from seemingly minor differences that can escalate over time to larger issues of abuse, neglect, and dysfunction.

Author Laura Davis (The Courage to Heal) once again comes from a very personal place in this book; she has slowly renewed relations with her mother's family after 10 years with no contact. As she interviews people and shares their stories, she uses the wisdom they've gained to illustrate numerous ways to reconcile--sometimes involving forgiveness and sometimes not. From the family who lost a member to a drunk driver or drive-by shooting to generations of kids on opposite sides of racial, religious, or political issues, the process of coming to peace is a lengthy one, marked by both pain and rewards.

Useful for adults who are dealing with personal issues or families trying to move beyond the emotional aftermath of 9/11, this loving and thoughtful book examines how we can all work together to achieve understanding. --Jill Lightner

About the Author:

Laura Davis is the author of The Courage to Heal Workbook, Allies in Healing, Becoming the Parent You Want to Be, and I Thought We'd Never Speak Again. She teaches writing and lives with her family in Santa Cruz, California.

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