Parenting School-Age Twins and Multiples - Softcover

Tinglof, Christina

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0071469028 ISBN 13: 9780071469029

Publisher: McGraw Hill, 2007

Synopsis

Real-world advice for when your twins' and multiples' concerns go beyond "Should they dress alike?"

Should your twins be placed in the same homeroom at school? Does one of your kids have a harder time making friends than the other? How healthy is competition among your triplets? Christina Baglivi Tinglof, author of Double Duty and a mother of twins, expertly guides you through your kids' school years, from the first days of kindergarten to the always drama-filled years of high school.

Drawing from the latest cutting-edge research and hundreds of parent-tested tips, Tinglof offers proven advice to:

• Encourage individuality
• Foster positive sibling relationships
• Discipline effectively
• Deal with one child developing faster than the other
• Manage common speech and reading difficulties

About this title

About the Author:

Christina Baglivi Tinglof is the mother of three sons, including school-age twins. She is also a contributing writer for Twins! magazine, founder and editor of www.talk-about-twins.com, and the author of Double Duty, The Organized Parent, and The Stay-at-Home Parent's Survival Guide. She lives in southern California.

Review:

This book addresses an exceptional array of situations encountered by multiples and their families. Chapters are devoted to understanding the twin relationship, developing identity, and promoting individuality. Discipline and education issues are each explored in depth. Competition and cooperation as well as fairness and fighting favoritism are discussed. Relationships between parents, siblings, and the multiples are addressed with honesty and openness. There is also a chapter devoted to that wonderful stage--puberty! Throughout the book readers will gain insight from the 'parent-to-parent' dialogue. Information is drawn from both scientific literature and interviews with parents of multiples. Burning questions that parents face can be found here, along with some wise and common-sense answers. This easy to read and useful reference will make a tremendous addition to any parent of multiples' personal or club library, and would be a welcome gift to your multiples' school library too. The information within can certainly be shared with anyone who interacts with multiples! Debbie Ciardi, Nov/Dec 2007 -- From The National Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs Notebook

This book offers veteran parents of multiples facts and friendly advice on parenting their school-age children between the ages of 5 and 18. As a seasoned writer and mother of three boys, including school-age dizygotic twin boys, Tinglof presents scientific literature and supports it with personal experience and interviews with more than 40 multiple-birth families. The text begins with a general and realistic look at the "intratwin relationship." In particular, the twin bond is demystified and defined as a "high access" sibling relationship. Tinglof explains that a multiple-birth set's shared gestational and developmental environments result in the formation of an "influential and intense sibling alliance." At the same time, she communicates that differences---physical, psychological and social--- are inherent to all multiple-birth sets. This point is emphasized with the fact that while monozygotic (identical) twins have the exact same genetic make-up, they have dissimilar gestational environments that render them different from the get-go. The theme of twins being simultaneously the same and different resonates. The majority of the text addresses multiple-birth specific topics. Accordingly, there is a chapter on identity and individuality, discipline, education, competition and cooperation, fairness and fighting, and puberty. Multiple-birth families with single-born children will be partial to the final chapter, as it explores the family dynamics inherent to these complex units. Within each chapter, Tinglof explores the topic in general and then within the context of twin-type. Tinglof is careful to communicate that while norms exist for each twin-type, individual differences are widespread. Tinglof's focus is squarely on the social development of multiples and their broader family system. Ultimately, her goal is to advise parents on how to help their multiple-birth children balance their individual and multiple-birth selves. She does this by offering parenting recommendations in each chapter. Tinglof recognizes that the implementation of recommendations is not easy, since parents are often required to support two or more people in conflicting roles. The paradoxical parenting task of encouraging one child without diminishing the other is often called upon. Specifically, parents are counselled to provide each child with separate belongings, along with a place to store them. Separate physical places are also advised. She is clear that these places do not have to be formal. Staggered schedules and makeshift room dividers are examples of practices that can support this objective. To foster strong and separate identities, parents are encouraged to take many individual photographs of each child along with the usual array of "group" photos. For the same purpose, parents are counselled to ensure that their multiples are dressed differently, thus encouraging others to relate to them as individuals rather than as a unit. Likewise, friends and family are to be told to limit/eliminate comparisons. Of course, cherishing the multiple-birth experience along with its intrinsic rewards is communicated. The intricate and delicate act of harmonizing extremes is required at all times. Thus, while parenting twins---or being a twin, for that matter---is not easy, it is always inspiring. Dr. Audrey Huberman, Oct 2007 -- From Multiple Moments (Multiple Births Canada)

Mother of twins Christina Baglivi Tinglof, the author of the popular, Double Duty: The Parents' Guide to Raising Twins, offers proven advice and parent-tested tips for parents of twins and higher order multiples who are entering their school-age years. From kindergarten to high school, twin children face unique challenges and opportunities. As parents encourage individuality of their twins, they must consider how to handle speech and reading difficulties, encourage positive relationships between the twins and other siblings, and manage effective discipline. Tinglof also offers advice on how to respond and encourage when one child develops faster than the other, and manage competition between the children. A major issue for many parents of multiples is the question of whether twins should be placed in the same classroom as the other. Tinglof offers helpful suggestions and strategies on this important topic, and provides assistance in making the best education decisions. Changing family relationships are also discussed by Tinglof, for as the twins grow and mature, their relationships between each other and their siblings, and parents, will change. Fairness and favoritism is a key topic that Tinglof explores, offering insightful observations and advice on parenting behavior that does have consequences. Parents of twins growing beyong their toddler years will find this book to be a useful tool in their decision making process. --Twins Magazine, 2008

About this edition

• Publisher: McGraw Hill
• Publication date: 2007
• ISBN 10: 0071469028
• ISBN 13: 9780071469029
• Binding: Paperback
• Edition number: 1
• Number of pages: 256