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The 2011 Bad Sex Awards shortlist

Right up there for awards you probably don’t want to win as a writer, the Bad Sex Awards are given to the author who produces the most awkward, uncomfortable, and cringe worthy sex scene. The shortlist for this year’s awards have been announced and include Sebastian Barry, David Guterson, Jean Auel, Haruki Murakami, Dori Ostermiller, Christos Tsiolkas, Lee Child, James Frey and Stephen King.

It turns out that Stephen really is the king of horror; this sequence from 11.22.63 is the scariest thing he’s written in years:

“She said, “Don’t make me wait, I’ve had enough of that,” and so I kissed the sweaty hollow of her temple and moved my hips forward … She gasped, retreated a little, then raised her hips to meet me. “Sadie? All right?”

“Ohmygodyes,” she said and I laughed. She opened her eyes and looked up at me with curiosity and hopefulness. “Is it over, or is there more?”

“A little more,” I said. “I don’t know how much. I haven’t been with a woman in a long time.”

It turned out there was quite a bit more … At the end she began to gasp. “Oh dear, oh my dear, oh my dear dear God, oh sugar!”

Yikes.

Posted by on November 22, 2011.

Categories: humor, writing

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