Faith in the Valley: Lessons for Women on the Journey to Peace - Softcover

Vanzant, Iyanla

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0684801132 ISBN 13: 9780684801131

Publisher: Atria Books, 1996

Synopsis

“The most powerful spiritual healer, fixer, teacher on the planet.” —Oprah Winfrey

In this companion volume to her bestselling book Acts of Faith, bestselling author and star of “Iyanla: Fix My Life” discusses the “valleys” that cause stress and imbalance for women and explains how women can cleanse their minds and promote a healthy foundation for living in the modern world.

A Note from Iyanla Vanzant

Beloved friend,

When this little book was first published many years ago, it became a beacon of light for many people who found themselves time and time again in one valley or another. Valleys are nothing new for any of us. Some of you may be in a valley right now, or, since you never know what’s around the corner, you may be on the brink of tottering into yet another valley. Or maybe you’ve just survived a valley that you swear you’ll never revisit—but guess what? That’s precisely the valley you’ll probably see again. And again.

Being in a valley can be a lonely and bewildering experience. This book was written to help you feel less lonely by reminding you that you really aren’t ever alone since God is always by your side, but more important, you are always by your own side. No matter how dire the situation may seem, no matter how dark and bleak the valley may be, you have all you need within you to survive the valley—any valley. Even though you may not know how you got into the valley in the first place, you do know, deep inside yourself, how to get through and out and free. You just need a little faith in yourself and a little guidance to find that faith within yourself.

When you are at your wit’s end, take this little book and let it guide you toward the ever-present but often elusive light at the end of the tunnel. Faith in the Valley is designed to help you find the light when you need it most—when you’re in that damn tunnel. When you’re most confused and in the dark and clueless as to how you got there (again!) and when you’re trying to figure out not just how to get out, but stay out. For good.

Faith in the Valley has helped so many through so much that we felt it only fitting to issue this lovely gift edition to acknowledge the special place it holds in many hearts. Please share it with a friend who has served as your beacon in the past, or offer it to yourself as a reminder of the strength and wisdom you possess and can offer to others.

Iyanla

About this title

About the Author:

Rev. Dr. Iyanla Vanzant, author and internationally renowned speaker, is best known for her riveting work as the host of Iyanla Fix My Life on the OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network). Oprah herself has called Iyanla, “the most powerful spiritual healer, fixer, teacher, on the planet.”  Oprah Winfrey has publicly acknowledged that Fix My Life and Iyanla was the turning point for the fledgling Oprah Winfrey Network. Susan Taylor, former editor-in-chief of Essence magazine calls her, “The real deal,” in the arena of personal healing and spiritual growth.”  Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love says, “Iyanla is a walking, talking, miracle in heels, who carries the energy to heal the masses.” Many of the 2.8 million people who follow her on Facebook lovingly call her, “auntie,” yet if you ask Iyanla she would say, “I am just an ordinary person committed to doing extraordinary things as a demonstration of what is possible when you love God, have faith in yourself, and trust the amazing process called life.”

As the Founder and Executive Director of the Inner Visions Institute for Spiritual Development, Iyanla conducts workshops and classes around the country, throughout Africa and the UK. Sharing her brand of practical spiritual wisdom, a blend of ancient African wisdom and universal principles, Iyanla has touched the minds and heart of more than 8 million readers in 23 languages. Her latest venture, the creation of MasterPeace Body Therapy, a line of natural body care products has received rave reviews on HSN.

Cooking and making scrapbooks are her guilty pleasures. Studying the Bible and other sacred texts is the foundation of her life. Iyanla cherishes her collection of over 100 Bibles in various translations. Watching re-runs of Law and Order is her joy. Spending time with her grandchildren and doing her own laundry is what keeps her grounded. Knowing that she is on purpose; loving what she does; doing everything with excellence; is what Iyanla Vanzant says makes her the woman that she is today.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.:

Chapter 1

The Valley of Light

Teaches us the lesson of stillness, through the imposition of a state of solitude and silence which forces us to take a look at ourselves.

Let us learn to be still and let the Truth speak through us: to be still and know that the inner light shines.

The Science of Mind

Life does whatever is necessary to mold us into shape and prepare us for greatness. It does not always look or feel this way. Instead, what we experience in life seems difficult, painful, unnecessary. Just for a moment, think of the stones which were used to build the pyramids and the gems which fashion the Crown Jewels. Imagine how the stones were dug from the quarry and then hammered and chiseled into shape. Realize that each stone or gem had to be perfectly shaped before it could be set in its appropriate place. Recognize that once the pyramids were built and jewels cast into the Crown, they have never been disturbed, nor have they shifted, fallen, or crumbled.

Somehow life teaches us to understand that God has a perfect plan for us; according to that plan, we must be molded and shaped prior to being cast into our perfect place. When we truly recognize that there is a master plan, we can welcome any tool that comes to prepare us to behold our perfect place. When we are shaped and molded by life according to God's perfect plan, the world is amazed and blessed by our beauty, and longevity.

Get prepared to be prepared!

Right where you are is where you need to be. Don't fight it! Don't run away from it! Stand firm! Take a deep breath. And another. And an-other. Stop beating up on yourself. Don't blame anyone else. Breathe. Now, ask yourself.' Why is this in my world? What do I need to see? To know about myself through this situation? Breathe again. Now, ask God:

Blessed and Divine Father/Mother, heal me of whatever thought or belief has contributed to the cause of this experience. Bring me the lesson of this experience lovingly and gently. Keep my mind and heart open that I may know the truth. Open my eyes that I may recognize your will. Thank you, God.

Now breathe. Don't you feel better already?

God is right here, right now!

Bad things are going to happen. Painful, ugly, frustrating events are going to take place. There is no way around getting your feelings hurt, having your ego bruised, your trust weighed, your heart broken. Life has its ups and downs. If you are hying, you are bound to trip or fall every now and then. There is not much you can do while you are going through your challenges and difficulties, but there is something you can remember that will make it a bit easier to bear.

The same God that was good yesterday is good today. The same God that loved you last week, loves you today. The same powerful, almighty, all-knowing God that saved you, comforted you, guided you the last time you needed it, will save, comfort, and guide you today. Bight where you are, in the midst of trouble, take a moment to be loved, comforted, guided, by the good God who knows exactly what you need. God is present. God's presence is called grace.

Live in the presence of God's grace.

When my husband left, I thought I had been a bad wife. Then my son went to jail, and I knew I had been a bad mother. When my best friend and my mother died, I slipped face first into being a bad person. How was I supposed to figure it all out?

All women fall into the valley. Some fall deeper than others. The valley is a lonely place. A dark and confusing pit in the center of your brain. You can't figure it out. You can't get out. You've got a black hole in your life into which everything you've ever really wanted seems to fall, into the valley. I once thought it was cruel and inhumane punishment; now I know it is a reward. The stronger and more gifted you axe, the deeper and eventually more rewarding is the valley experience.

We all have our lessons to learn in life. Most of us fail to learn unless we are in some kind of pain. The valley is your pain. The valley gets your attention. The valley lets you know what you are doing and why you just might want to try something new. The bad thing is that no one can warn you a valley is coming. You must pay attention to what is going on in your life! The good thing is that once you've been there, in enough pain, you figure it out. People begin to notice. "Hey, what's up with you?" "You look different." "Did you change your hair or something?" You haven't changed your hair, your mind has changed. You have learned a very valuable lesson. When you can't, FAITH CAN!

Faith makes the day and paves the way!

Dear Self, Guilt says, "There is something wrong with what I have done."

Shame says, "There is something wrong with me."

You can eliminate guilt by making amends for what you have done.

You cannot eliminate shame until you know and believe, "All that God is, I Am."

God is truth, mercy, wisdom, strength, forgiveness, peace, order, justice, and love.

What have you got to be ashamed of?

God is not ashamed of me. Neither am I.

You can't shrink into greatness. When you reflect on the things you have done and not done, there is a tendency to beat up on yourself. We criticize, judge, and condemn ourselves much more severely than the world could or would. In response to this self-flagellation, we shrink away from doing or attempting to do. You cannot shrink into your greatness! We must use our past as a road map, a key, that unlocks our capabilities by giving us understanding of our frailties. The past simply tells us what we can do, cannot do, what we need to work on or work out.

You must know every intricate detail of yourself. Your past is like an X-ray machine. Once you see what is there, don't shrink, shine! Now you know, which means you can take appropriate steps toward healing and correction. Don't fight with yourself! Accept who you are now and all you've done. Then give yourself a big hug and kiss. You've been through a lot. A little loving tenderness could be what you need right now.

I love to love me.

Repetition is the mother of skill. If you do something enough you get good at it. When what you are doing is good for you, it is pleasurable, and you want to do it often, getting better and better at it. However, when what we do is not pleasurable, we fight against it, resisting the discomfort, and avoiding the lesson we may need to learn.

When unwanted situations repeat themselves in our lives, there is something we have missed. There is a blind spot in our consciousness, something we can't see and don't know yet. Repeat performances of bad productions will continue coming up as an experience in our lives. We go through it again, again, wracking our brains, grasping at straws, trying to figure out how we got here and how we can get out.

Those repetitive issues which cause us displeasure are just like the things Mother told us over and over. We didn't want to hear them; we ignored what she said. In the end, we saw Mother's point. Finally, we realized, she only wanted us to be better; well, so does life. When you find yourself in the same situation repeatedly, do not fight against what you are going through. It is in your own best interest to look for the lesson and cultivate the skill, to do a new thing, in a new way.

I Am, I Am, I Am, I know I Am, learning something very valuable.

Little problems in life are like a pop quiz which will determine whether or not you are in touch with your feelings; whether you have learned to trust yourself or will continue to move along mindlessly in your old ways. Many of us ignore the little things, those uneasy rumblings, because we can't believe it is happening...again. We step willingly into bad situations, because we don't want to believe we could be "wrong" about them. Yet we readily believe we could be "wrong" about what we feel. If you don't believe yourself, when you don't trust what you feel, it means you are in doubt. Doubt will push you headfirst into a valley.

Sometimes an uneasy feeling will be the normal fear or doubt associated with doing things that are different or new. At other times, it will be life warning you to get still, pay attention, remember what happened the last time you didn't pay attention to yourself, and act accordingly.

Here is a clue about life's little warnings: monsters don't have shadows! You will never see the monster coming. It will descend upon you before you recognize it. If you are feeling uneasy for no apparent reason, it means you are being quizzed about something you are adequately equipped to handle, based on past experience. Whether you pass or fail the quiz is a reflection of how much you know about and trust yourself.

Trust what you feel!

When you get the urge to stay home, be alone, pull back, or shut down, it is probably your spirit urging you to take a rest. Do not ignore it! Honor yourself by taking some time out. Take a day away. There may be something very important going on within you that you need to know about. You must get quiet in order to hear it. The job will be there, and people will simply have to understand; what can be done today can also be done tomorrow. All duties and responsibilities can wait. Your spirit cannot!

I have often heard people say, "I need a break!" but they never take one. I know it is no coincidence when these same people break their foot or when their car breaks down, forcing them to "be still." Often we think there is something wrong with us when we "don't want to be bothered." So we keep moving and doing. Spirit knows what we need and provides it for us. Yet when incidents force us into a needed solitude, we reach outward rather than within. Rest, Stillness, Solitude, Introspection, Reflection, are spiritual vibrations. They keep us from breaking down, falling apart, and being forced into a living deficiency.

Today is a spiritual health day!

Dear God,

Today, I want to be still, to listen, to hear, and to know. Today, I want to see and know myself as a reflection of You. Today, God, I want the stillness of Your love to shower me in the light of perfect peace, that I may go forth stronger, wiser, in readiness to do Your perfect will. Today, God, I want to be still with You.

Lord, keep me still today! Take away all that makes me race and worry and fear and doubt and rush away from myself. Take away the need to do, be, have, know, want anything other than the grace of Your love. Show me myself today, Lord. Show me Your perfect child, on a divine mission, fulling Your perfect purpose, in a divine way. And, Lord, help me understand You and me, how we can work together in stillness to create new life.

Today, Lord, I am willing to be still in Your arms, still in Your light, still in Your love. I am willing to see You in me and release all that is not. I am willing to know You in my life, to preserve You in my heart, to open myself to more of You as what I am. In stillness I see You. In stillness I accept You. In stillness I feel You. Lord, let me be still, just for today. Thank You, God.

Today, move in stillness.

Everybody needs to go home every now and then. To go home means there is something waiting for you: Momma's love. To go home means having your favorite foods, cooked and waiting. It means lively conversation, laughter, some oldies but goodies playing in the background. Home is sitting back in an overstuffed chair, wrapped in a ragged blanket, watching reruns on TV. Home is a hot bubble bath and a fresh-smelling bed. Home is curling up next to Momma, resting your head in her lap, and telling her all your troubles and fears while she gently strokes your brow. Why not go home to Momma today? You can cook. You have a radio or an old tape to play. Get that old blanket out of the box. Take a nice warm bath and curl up in the bed. God the Mother is waiting to hear from you.

Mother, I'm coming home.

In ancient times, it was believed that little boys needed special protection in life. Boys were covered in blue. Blue represents the heavens. When you covered a baby boy in blue, you were providing him the energy and protection of God. It was also thought that girls did not require, or even "deserve," the same protection. Girls were fragile. Girls were meant to serve and be protected by boys. Girls were covered in pink to represent their sweet, fragile nature.

As silly as this may sound, it represents the dominant thought pattern of our culture. Boys are entitled to the world of God. Girls get ignored, pushed aside, abused, or abandoned by the boys. Don't they deserve special recognition themselves? You can begin today.

Remind your little girl, it is not what she wears, it is not the ribbons in her hair. It is not the color of her skin, the ruffles on her panties, or the neighborhood she lives in. Little girls are also expressions of God; this makes them worthy to the world. Little girls are valuable because they are; not because of what they do, what they have, or what they want to be. Little girls bring forth the grace of life in their smiles, laughter, questions, and expressions. There is a little girl in you. Have you loved her today? Have you hugged or kissed her today? Have you told her how special she is, how valuable she is, and how much you appreciate and honor her? Have you told the little girl in you how beautiful she is just because she is!

It is safe for you to be a little girl.

No one wants to be alone when things are not going well. Whether we fall or are pushed into one of life's difficulties, we don't want to be there on our own. In the darkness of trouble, we reach out for someone to help us. If we are lucky, they can't! They may want to, but there is simply no way anyone else can learn our lessons with us or for us.

If you are a slow learner, you might get mad at friends you think should help but don't. You may become disillusioned or resentful of the family members who always call on you but never answer when you call. If you are a spiritual special-education candidate, you may complain or whine and stamp your feet, declaring, "Why me?" "This is not fair!" "I can't take this anymore!" Oh, you can take it! We can always take the dark, lonely, frightening valley experience, because we have no other choice!

Your blessings have your name on them; so do your lessons! Your greatest blessing appears before you, cleverly disguised as your most difficult challenge, as your greatest obstacle, or as an extremely negative experience you are forced to handle all by yourself. What a blessing! What a blessed opportunity to face the truth, forgive yourself and others, practice faith, develop trust, be still, and know, "Right where I am, God is!"

I Am not alone! I Am learning!

Where did we get the idea that we must do it "all" alone? There is a guardian angel called the "Grace of God" waiting to serve us whenever we have need. So many of us struggle through life completely ignorant of the fact that the "Love of God" is sufficient protection, support, and supply under all circumstances. Far too many of us take on more than we need or want to, and by doing so, we get in God's way.

At all times, no matter what situation may confront us, "grace" is our escape route. With a long, deep breath, relaxation of the stomach muscles, and the silent affirmation "By the grace of God" we are given a clear mind and divine guidance. Often this brief exercise provides us with a new insight or renewed strength. Sometimes it lets us know that there is absolutely nothing we can do, and even this is o...

About this edition

• Publisher: Atria Books
• Publication date: 1996
• ISBN 10: 0684801132
• ISBN 13: 9780684801131
• Binding: Paperback
• Edition number: 1
• Number of pages: 320