Fondling Your Muse: Infallible Advice From a Published Author to the Writerly Aspirant - Hardcover

9781582973487: Fondling Your Muse: Infallible Advice From a Published Author to the Writerly Aspirant
View all copies of this ISBN edition:
 
 

A note from the author: "Writing is a solitary and often scary enterprise. I alone have heard your silent screams, so I have written this book to help you achieve what everyone who has the courage to live the creative life deserves: complete, utter, slavish adoration and worship. Also: incalculable wealth that insulates you from the concerns of ordinary people."

And there you have it. Fondling Your Muse is John Warner's innovative and slightly insane book of instruction for those who want to write, and those who think they already can. It's packed with quirky (possibly deranged) advice guaranteed to make you laugh out loud in the most embarrassing fashion possible. You know what we mean. It also includes a special chapter entitled "Everything Stephen King Knows About Writing Successfully: Plus Some Things I Know That He Doesn't Because He Isn't That Special." No other book currently available has this chapter!

And Fondling Your Muse provides the kind of wise, insightful guidance that's missing from all of those self-serious, mind-numbingly awful books that promise riches and fame by writing only 20 minutes a day.

Let's say you're looking for a tried-and-true recipe for literary success. Warner reveals all of the best ones, including these succulent concoctions:

  • Contemporary Romance Quiche al la Nicholas Sparks ("Tasty with a side of hackneyed potatoes.")
  • Tom Clancy Techno-Thriller Surprise ("Preparation is usually subcontracted to others.")
  • Chick-Lit Cacciatore ("Satisfies many, every single time. I can't explain how either.")
  • Harlequin Romance Salad ("Thoroughly rip bodices, pound prose until purple, and combine all ingredients in a large mixing bowl.")
  • John Grisham's Legal Thriller Stew ("Boil in pot until ingredients bubble over line of believability.")
  • Contemporary American Literary Fiction Flambe ("Served in smaller and smaller quantities as the years go by.")

It doesn't get any better than that. So go ahead - get Fondling today!

"synopsis" may belong to another edition of this title.

About the Author:
So who is John Warner? John Warner is the editor of McSweeney's Internet Tendency and the co-author, with Kevin Guilfoile, of the best-seller My First Presidentiary: A Scrapbook by George W. Bush. His work has been published in McSweeney's quarterly journal, Modern Humorist, Salon.com, and Zoetrope, among others. He is also an editor of the McSweeney's humor anthology, Created in Darkness by Troubled Americans.

"About this title" may belong to another edition of this title.

  • PublisherWriter's Digest Books
  • Publication date2005
  • ISBN 10 1582973482
  • ISBN 13 9781582973487
  • BindingHardcover
  • Number of pages224
  • Rating

Top Search Results from the AbeBooks Marketplace

Stock Image

Warner, John
Published by Writer's Digest Books (2005)
ISBN 10: 1582973482 ISBN 13: 9781582973487
New Hardcover Quantity: 1
Seller:
Your Online Bookstore
(Houston, TX, U.S.A.)

Book Description Hardcover. Condition: New. Seller Inventory # 1582973482-11-17873760

More information about this seller | Contact seller

Buy New
US$ 14.17
Convert currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: FREE
Within U.S.A.
Destination, rates & speeds
Stock Image

Warner, John
Published by Writer's Digest Books (2005)
ISBN 10: 1582973482 ISBN 13: 9781582973487
New Hardcover Quantity: 1
Seller:
Gulf Coast Books
(Memphis, TN, U.S.A.)

Book Description hardcover. Condition: New. Seller Inventory # 1582973482-11-26099410

More information about this seller | Contact seller

Buy New
US$ 14.17
Convert currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: FREE
Within U.S.A.
Destination, rates & speeds
Stock Image

Warner, John
Published by Writer's Digest Books (2005)
ISBN 10: 1582973482 ISBN 13: 9781582973487
New Hardcover Quantity: 1
Seller:
Ebooksweb
(Bensalem, PA, U.S.A.)

Book Description Condition: New. . Seller Inventory # 52GZZZ00A5CG_ns

More information about this seller | Contact seller

Buy New
US$ 14.31
Convert currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: FREE
Within U.S.A.
Destination, rates & speeds
Stock Image

Warner, John
Published by Writer's Digest Books (2005)
ISBN 10: 1582973482 ISBN 13: 9781582973487
New Hardcover Quantity: 1
Seller:
BookShop4U
(PHILADELPHIA, PA, U.S.A.)

Book Description Condition: New. . Seller Inventory # 5AUZZZ000QCB_ns

More information about this seller | Contact seller

Buy New
US$ 14.31
Convert currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: FREE
Within U.S.A.
Destination, rates & speeds
Stock Image

Warner, John
Published by Writer's Digest Books (2005)
ISBN 10: 1582973482 ISBN 13: 9781582973487
New Hardcover Quantity: 1
Seller:
GoldenWavesOfBooks
(Fayetteville, TX, U.S.A.)

Book Description Hardcover. Condition: new. New. Fast Shipping and good customer service. Seller Inventory # Holz_New_1582973482

More information about this seller | Contact seller

Buy New
US$ 23.10
Convert currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: US$ 4.00
Within U.S.A.
Destination, rates & speeds
Stock Image

Warner, John
Published by Writer's Digest Books (2005)
ISBN 10: 1582973482 ISBN 13: 9781582973487
New Hardcover Quantity: 1
Seller:
GoldBooks
(Austin, TX, U.S.A.)

Book Description Hardcover. Condition: new. New Copy. Customer Service Guaranteed. Seller Inventory # think1582973482

More information about this seller | Contact seller

Buy New
US$ 28.12
Convert currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: US$ 4.25
Within U.S.A.
Destination, rates & speeds
Stock Image

Warner, John
Published by Writer's Digest Books (2005)
ISBN 10: 1582973482 ISBN 13: 9781582973487
New Hardcover Quantity: 1
Seller:
BennettBooksLtd
(LOS ANGELES, CA, U.S.A.)

Book Description Condition: New. New. In shrink wrap. Looks like an interesting title! 0.85. Seller Inventory # Q-1582973482

More information about this seller | Contact seller

Buy New
US$ 57.60
Convert currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: US$ 4.13
Within U.S.A.
Destination, rates & speeds