How Can I Forgive You?: The Courage To Forgive, the Freedom Not To

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9780060009304: How Can I Forgive You?: The Courage To Forgive, the Freedom Not To
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The author of After the Affair challenges the belief that forgiveness is the only appropriate response to violation, proposing a self-affirming alternative that enables readers to overcome the destructive effects of hate without forgiveness while outlining a model for true forgiveness that places re

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About the Author:

Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., is a nationally acclaimed expert on issues of trust, intimacy, and forgiveness. In private practice in Westport, Connecticut, she is the author of the award-winning How Can I Forgive You?, The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To, and Life with Pop: Lessons on Caring for an Aging Parent.

From Publishers Weekly:

Abrahms Spring, a clinical psychologist, follows up her bestselling After the Affair with this new self-help manual that aims to provide a better way to forgive or not forgive others. With the assistance of her husband, and in clear, insightful writing, Abrahms Spring draws on many case studies to fully analyze four categories of forgiveness: cheap forgiveness, refusing to forgive, acceptance and genuine forgiveness. The author is convinced that morally and spiritually a person is no more required to forgive an unrepentant offender than he or she is to love him. When someone who has been truly wronged and forgives too easily (cheap forgiveness), that person is not acting in their own best interest, but rather preserving a relationship at any cost. An absolute refusal to forgive Abrahms, Spring posits, is also harmful to the injured person. Although punishing the offender may provide a sense of power, it also fosters negativity and self-isolation. The author advises that when genuine forgiveness is impossible, because the injury is too great or the offender will not apologize, a better decision than holding onto anger is to work through the injury, or acceptance. This healing process will lead to emotional resolution and the ability to move on with one's life. Genuine forgiveness, Abrahms Spring maintains, occurs when both parties negotiate a process during which the hurt person expresses his or her pain, and the offender apologizes and takes responsibility for his or her poor behavior. In the end, this is a thoughtful exposition on the nuanced role of forgiveness in relationships that goes beyond the average self-help book.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Other Popular Editions of the Same Title

9780060009311: How Can I Forgive You?: The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To

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ISBN 10:  0060009314 ISBN 13:  9780060009311
Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks, 2005
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9780965913669: How Can I Forgive You?

harper, 2004
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Janis A. Spring
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Book Description Harper, 2004. Hardcover. Condition: New. Dust Jacket Condition: New. 1st Edition. From bestselling author Janis Spring comes a long¿awaited second book which tackles the sensitive issue of forgiveness with anecdotes and clinical case material. The topic of forgiveness is fast becoming one of the key concepts in psychotherapy. Until now, explains Spring, we have bought into the myth that forgiving is not only good for you but is the only morally sound response to violation. We believe that there are only two choices, to forgive or not, and that forgiveness is an unconditional gift that does not have to be earned by the offender. In How Can I Forgive You?, Spring debunks these myths and offers a new way to think about this critical dynamic¿¿illuminating a middle ground between total forgiveness and not forgiving, an approach that enables the hurt party to maintain self¿respect and get on with their lives. Seller Inventory # 008556

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