Your ex-spouse is bad-mouthing you to your children, perhaps even trying to turn them against you. If you handle the situation ineffectively, you could lose your children's respect, their affections'even, in extreme cases, lose contact with them.
The conventional advice is to do nothing, for fear that any response would be fighting fire with fire and result in greater injury to the children. But in his more than twenty-five years of research on divorcing families, Dr. Richard Warshak has become convinced that a passive approach does nothing but leave parents feeling helpless. And the damage to children is considerable, particularly when warring parents enlist children as allies in the battle. The problems range from tainted parent-child relationships, in which children are disrespectful or reluctant to show their affection, to a disturbance in which children virtually disown one of their parents and all the relatives on that side of the family.
Divorce Poison is the first book that offers specific advice to protect children from the results of their parents' animosity. In it, you will learn how to:
respond when your children join forces with your ex
react if your children refuse to see you
answer rude and hateful behavior
insulate children from the harmful effects of bad-mouthing
identify and correct your own contributions to parent-child conflicts
defend against false accusations of brainwashing
choose the best therapist and lawyer
reconcile with children after years of estrangement
Dr. Warshak reveals the typical behaviors of alienated children, how and why parents manipulate their children, seven rules for responding effectively to bad-mouthing without succumbing to the impulse to retaliate in kind, and how the controversial diagnosis parental alienation syndrome is used in court to take children away from parents or to regain contact with alienated children.
This pathbreaking work gives parents powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with their children -- and provides legal and mental health professionals practical advice to help their clients and safeguard the welfare of children. Whether they are perpetrators of divorce poison, victims of it, or both, parents who heed Dr. Warshak's advice will enable their children to maintain love and respect for two parents who no longer love, and may not respect, each other.
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Dr. Richard A. Warshak is a clinical, research, and consulting psychologist in private practice in Dallas, Texas, a graduate of Cornell University, and a clinical professor at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center. An internationally recognized authority on divorce and alienated children, his studies are cited often in courtrooms and legislatures and his work has been prominently featured in world-wide media including Today, CNN, USA Today, the Washington Post, the London Sunday Telegraph, and Time. The author of the critically acclaimed The Custody Revolution, he lives and works with his wife in Dallas, TexasReview:
"...offers valuable advice...helps you understand and heal your own hurts without hurting the children you love." -- Susan Jeffers, Ph.D., author of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway and I'm Okay...You're a Brat!
"A breakthrough book. . . . Well-written, balanced, and filled with insights, perfect for any parent who has been the victim of bad-mouthing." -- Warren Farrell, Ph.D., author of Father and Child Reunion and Why Men Are the Way They Are
"An absolute must-read for any parent going through a divorce. . . . Lays bare the evils of parental alienation." -- Armin Brott, author of The Expectant Father and The Single Father
"In this balanced, compassionate book, Warshak offers vital advice to those caught in the emotional maelstrom of a bitter divorce." -- Mark Pendergrast, author of Victims of Memory
"Long overdue. Recognizes the critical importance of every child having a relationship with both parents." -- Karen DeCrow, attorney and past president, National Organization for Women
"Skillfully draws attention to the devastating consequences of a poorly recognized form of child abuse--parental alienation. . . . Filled with clear advice." -- Michael E. Lamb, Ph.D., National Institute of Child Health and Human Development
"The wisdom and insight of years of professional experience. . . . If you're divorced and you love your child, read this book!" -- Connie R. Ahrons, Ph.D., senior scholar, Council on Contemporary Families, and author of The Good Divorce
"This book should be required reading for every parent, the week after they leave divorce court." -- Alison Clarke-Stewart, Ph.D., associate dean for research, School of Social Ecology, University of California, Irvine, and author of Daycare
"Warshak's sympathy for mothers, fathers, and relatives is outweighed only by his compassion for the children themselves." -- Michael Gurian, author of The Wonder of Boys
A great book for both parents and professionals on a previously neglected topic by an outstanding clinician/researcher. -- Henry Biller, Ph.D., professor of psychology, University of Rhode Island, and author of The Father Factor
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