The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror - Hardcover

Book 3 of 3: Pine Cove

Moore, Christopher

  • 3.80 out of 5 stars
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9780060590253: The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror

Synopsis

Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe.

'Twas the night (okay, more like the week) before Christmas, and all through the tiny community of Pine Cove, California, people are busy buying, wrapping, packing, and generally getting into the holiday spirit. It is the hap-hap-happiest time of the year, after all.

But not everybody is feeling the joy. Little Joshua Barker is in desperate need of a holiday miracle. No, he's not on his deathbed; no, his dog hasn't run away from home. But Josh is sure that he saw Santa take a shovel to the head, and now the seven-year-old has only one prayer: Please, Santa, come back from the dead.

But hold on! There's an angel waiting in the wings. (Wings, get it?) It's none other than the Archangel Raziel come to Earth seeking a small child with a wish that needs granting. Unfortunately, our angel's not sporting the brightest halo in the bunch, and before you can say "Kris Kringle," he's botched his sacred mission and sent the residents of Pine Cove headlong into Christmas chaos, culminating in the most hilarious and horrifying holiday party the town has ever seen.

Only Christopher Moore, the man who brought you the outrageous lost gospel Lamb and the hysterical fish tale Fluke could have devised a new holiday classic that tugs at the heartstrings and serves up a healthy slice of fruitcake to boot.

Move over, Charles Dickens -- it's Christopher Moore time.

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About the Author

Christopher Moore is the author of the novels Secondhand Souls, Sacré Bleu, A Dirty Job, and Lamb. He lives in San Francisco, California.

Reviews

Hilarity abounds in Moore's latest satirical gem. Sleepy Pine Cove, Calif., is abuzz with Christmas spirit, but Lena Marquez is fed up with her despicable ex-husband, Dale Pearson. On his way home from playing Santa Claus at the local lodge, Dale spies sneaky Lena uprooting his Monterey pines; he pulls a gun on her, she lashes out with a shovel and—oops!—kills him. Seven-year-old Josh Barker, thinking he's just seen the murder of Santa, prays for a miracle to save Christmas. To Lena's rescue comes Tucker Case, a slimy, reformed Casanova and DEA pilot, who gives her an alibi and sweeps her off her feet. The marijuana-cultivating town constable, Theo Crowe, suspects foul play, but Tucker intervenes with a blackmail scheme to keep the crime buried. Meanwhile, there's a new arrival in town: the glowingly blond Archangel Raziel (last seen in Lamb) has come "dirtside" on a "miracle mission" involving Josh's wish and reviving the town's dearly departed. Pine Cove's biggest challenge surfaces as comically reanimated zombies begin to rise and feast on the living, and a huge El Niño–induced storm swirls. This little slice of perverse Christmas cheer is enough to make even the most cynical Scrooge guffaw.
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Readers of The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove (1999), the cast of which returns in this yarn, will confirm that, if any town could put the eerie back in Merry Christmas (whaddaya mean it's never been there--aintcha read Dickens?), it would be Moore's cut-rate California coastal paradise, Pine Cove. It all begins a few chapters in, when Dale Pearson accosts his ex, Lena Marquez, while she is stealing Christmas trees and ends up with a shovel-blade in the neck. Seven-year-old Josh Barker glimpses Dale's demise and, since Dale has on his Caribou Lodge Santa suit, assumes the jolly old elf's been offed; his Christmas wish becomes to have Santa back. Unfortunately, dim-bulb angel Raziel has drawn angelic Christmas duty, which is to grant one child's Christmas wish, and eventually (nothing is ever in a hurry in Moore's lurching, Margaritaville version of the world, though it reads fast) Dale/Santa is resurrected, along with quite a contingent from the same graveyard, just in time for the Christmas party in the nearby chapel. Delirious! Ray Olson
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