Sun Tzu Was a Sissy: Conquer Your Enemies, Promote Your Friends, and Wage the Real Art of War

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9780060734770: Sun Tzu Was a Sissy: Conquer Your Enemies, Promote Your Friends, and Wage the Real Art of War

A hilarious and tough-minded guide to winning the war of contemporary life.

We live in a vicious, highly competitive workplace environment, and things aren′t getting any better. Jobs are few and far between, and people aren′t any nicer now than they were when Ghengis Khan ran around in big furs killing people in unfriendly acquisitions. For thousands of years, people have been reading the writings of the deeply wise, but also extremely dead Chinese philosopher Sun Tzu, who was perhaps the first to look on the waging of war as a strategic art that could be taught to people who wished to be warlords and other kinds of senior managers.

In a nutshell, Sun Tzu taught that readiness is all, that knowledge of oneself and the enemy was the foundation of strength and that those who fight best are those who are prepared and wise enough not to fight at all. Unfortunately, in the current day, this approach is pretty much horse hockey, a fact that has not been recognized by the bloated, tree-hugging Sun Tzu industry, which churns out mushy-gushy pseudo-philosophy for business school types who want to make war and keep their hands clean.

Sun Tzu was a Sissy will transcend all those efforts and teach the reader how to make war, win and enjoy the plunder in the real world, where those who do not kick, gouge and grab are left behind at the table to pay the tab. Students of Bing will be taught how to plan and execute battles that hurt other people a lot, and advance their flags and those of their friends, if possible. All military strategies will be explored, from mustering, equipping, organizing, plotting, scheming, rampaging, squashing and reaping spoils.

Every other book on The Art of War bows low to Sun Tzu. We′re going to tell him to get lost and inform our readers how real war is currently conducted on the battlefield of life.

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About the Author:

Stanley Bing is a columnist for Fortune magazine and the bestselling author of Crazy Bosses, What Would Machiavelli Do?, Throwing the Elephant, Sun Tzu Was a Sizzy, 100 Bullshit Jobs . . . And How to Get Them, and The Big Bing, as well as the novels Lloyd: What Happened and You Look Nice Today. By day he is an haute executive in a gigantic multinational corporation whose identity is one of the worst-kept secrets in business.

Review:

“No one understands corporate war better, or makes it funnier, than Stanley Bing.” (Walter Isaacson, author of Benjamin Franklin: An American Life)

“A hilarious, thought-provoking war plan for the battlefield of the modern workplace.” (Neil Cavuto, Fox News)

“Bing is hilarious!” (Don Imus)

“Mr. Bing’s humor is ...laugh-out-loud funny.” (Dallas Morning News)

“A masterful curmudgeon who causes laugh-out-loud moments.” (USA Today)

“The book is Bing at his snarky best.” (Miami Herald)

“Designed to make you as tactically sound in your private life as you are in the cruel, cruel world.” (Army Times, Navy Times, Air Force Times, and Marine Corps Times)

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