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Parents often confuse love with overindulgence, afraid to subject their children to a moment of frustration or deprive them of anything they might desire. But in order to become resilient and responsible adults, children must learn that they can't always get their way.

Since motherhood is now her most important role, beloved actress Marilu Henner has often turned to Dr. Ruth Velikovsky Sharon, a highly respected psychoanalyst, for advice on raising her own children. This practical, accessible guidebook that they've compiled together shows parents how to:

  • Establish parent-child contracts and effective methods of discipline
  • Handle temper tantrums, bedtime issues, sibling rivalry, lying, and much more
  • Help their children tolerate frustration and become comfortable with difficult feelings

Filled with dozens of real-life questions, practical advice, and humorous anecdotes, I Refuse to Raise a Brat is a witty and useful resource to help parents raise secure and self-reliant children.

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Review:
Marilu Henner, costar of the TV sitcom Taxi turned bestselling self-help author, has a strong message for doting parents: stop spoiling your children. Many of today's moms and dads confuse placating with loving, spurred by a desire to give their kids the world on a silver platter. Cowritten by Henner (mother of two boys) and her personal psychoanalyst Dr. Ruth Sharon, I Refuse to Raise a Brat explores the long-term effects of overgratifying youngsters and offers a wealth of situational advice.

Henner and Sharon theorize that a child's ability to balance independence and cooperation directly results from the parent-child relationship; too much negotiation, too many toys, exaggerated praise, and overprotection do not help that child in the long run. Instead of learning compliance, the child will learn that everything is open to discussion; in place of gratitude, the child learns greed (either physical greed for more "stuff" or emotional greed for more of the spotlight); and instead of feeling safe, the child will learn helplessness.

The women incorporate a question/answer style throughout their book's 12 somewhat disjointed chapters. Questions such as "Our 18-month old wakes up at five every morning and then he wants to play. What do I do?" receive a practical two- to four-sentence response from Dr. Sharon (Answer: "Don't blame your baby.... If he gets nine or ten hours' sleep, he has every right to wake up at 5 a.m.") Then Marilu responds--sometimes serious, often with a humorous anecdote or one-liner, or at times with a completely unrelated comment. Perhaps not the most authoritative resource, this book will still please, inform, and strike familiar chords in parents who seek nonphysical ways to gain and keep respect. --Liane Thomas

About the Author:

Marilu Henner is well known for her roles in Taxi and Evening Shade and her participation in The Celebrity Apprentice. She is the author of two other New York Times bestselling books, Marilu Henner's Total Health Makeover and Healthy Life Kitchen. She lives in Los Angeles.



Ruth Velikovsky Sharon, Ph.D., is a psychoanalyst in private practice in New York City. She cohosts a weekly radio show, The Couch, with her son, Rafael. Her father, Dr. Immanuel Velikovsky, was a colleague of Sigmund Freud.

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9780060392666: I Refuse to Raise a Brat: Straightforward Advice on Parenting in an Age of Overindulgence

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