The Best Thing About My Ass Is That It's Behind Me

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9780062025746: The Best Thing About My Ass Is That It's Behind Me

Follow one woman's bumpy, cellulite-riddled ride through size-0 Hollywood and learn how she went from body-dysmorphic to sassy-asstastic in only twenty-five short years of dieting, thousands of dollars in "procedures,". . . and one pair of industrial-strength Spanx.

From the best girlfriend you didn't know you had comes this "I Can't Believe She Said That" guide to life in the real world. Actress and comic Lisa Ann Walter dishes about parenthood and the dangers of girl-on-girl snarking, explains why skinny actresses act crazy, and gives riotous advice on everything from the dating mistakes we all make to ten things you should subtract when you weigh yourself (self-tanner and dental work, for starters . . .).

So what do you get when you drop a longtime self-loather into the glitz and glamour of Hollywood? This hysterical, and brutally honest, look at the impossible standard of perfection for which so many of us strive. Walter boldly shares her lifelong struggle with low self-esteem—which, in her case, includes plenty of painful auditions, failed relationships, and awkward celebrity encounters, plus lots of impossible diets, questionable injectables, and dubious cosmetic procedures. Along the way, the "celebrity adjacent" Walter also tells her sometimes warm, often cringeworthy, and always funny Hollywood stories (including the reason she'd kill for Richard Gere).

She also shares her sage advice by offering features such as ways to improve your self-esteem that won't cost you a dime:

Four words:

Push-up. Bra. Construction. Site. You don't even have to look good to get a response. Just wear sunglasses, square your shoulders, and toss your hair. Then count the whistles.

Start frequenting your local gay bar. Both gays and lesbians are much more effusive about how fabulous you are! And you'll get free drinks!

Always be seen with decrepit old men—you'll look young and beautiful in comparison. Think how well this works for those Girls Next Door.

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Product Description:

Actressand comic Lisa Ann Walter offers a hilarious, star-studded collection of essaysencouraging women to laugh at what they can't change, enjoy a guilty pleasureor two, and finally accept the lives and the bodies they're in now. The DanceYour Ass Off judge and star of movies like The Parent Trap, ShallWe Dance, and Bruce Almighty delivers a warm, wry, honest, andeffective exhortation to find happiness where you are, in a serenity prayer fortoday’s woman that’s perfect for fans of Gretchen Rubin’s The HappinessProject, Valerie Bertinelli’s Losing Itand Chelsea Handler’s My Horizontal Life.

About the Author:

From the absurd to the earnest, nothing is offlimits! But most of all, this is the fierce and fearless story of how one woman faced her body-image challenges and insecurities, took on the most competitive business around, and realized that she—like women everywhere—deserved to feel beautiful. Lisa Ann Walter is an actress, comic, and television creator and executive producer of programs including Oxygen network's Dance Your Ass Off. Best known for her work in movies like The Parent Trap, Shall We Dance, Bruce Almighty, and Killers, she is also a well-known name on the standup comedy circuit. She lives in Los Angeles with her four children—one foot firmly planted on the red carpet . . . the other in Costco.

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Lisa Ann Walter
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ISBN 10: 0062025740 ISBN 13: 9780062025746
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Book Description HarperCollins Publishers Inc, United States, 2011. Hardback. Book Condition: New. 208 x 142 mm. Language: English . Brand New Book. Follow one woman s bumpy, cellulite-riddled ride through size-0 Hollywood and learn how she went from body-dysmorphic to sassy-asstastic in only twenty-five short years of dieting, thousands of dollars in procedures, . . . and one pair of industrial-strength Spanx.From the best girlfriend you didn t know you had comes this I Can t Believe She Said That guide to life in the real world. Actress and comic Lisa Ann Walter dishes about parenthood and the dangers of girl-on-girl snarking, explains why skinny actresses act crazy, and gives riotous advice on everything from the dating mistakes we all make to ten things you should subtract when you weigh yourself (self-tanner and dental work, for starters . . .).So what do you get when you drop a longtime self-loather into the glitz and glamour of Hollywood? This hysterical, and brutally honest, look at the impossible standard of perfection for which so many of us strive. Walter boldly shares her lifelong struggle with low self-esteem--which, in her case, includes plenty of painful auditions, failed relationships, and awkward celebrity encounters, plus lots of impossible diets, questionable injectables, and dubious cosmetic procedures. Along the way, the celebrity adjacent Walter also tells her sometimes warm, often cringeworthy, and always funny Hollywood stories (including the reason she d kill for Richard Gere). She also shares her sage advice by offering features such as ways to improve your self-esteem that won t cost you a dime: Four words: Push-up. Bra. Construction. Site. You don t even have to look good to get a response. Just wear sunglasses, square your shoulders, and toss your hair. Then count the whistles.Start frequenting your local gay bar. Both gays and lesbians are much more effusive about how fabulous you are! And you ll get free drinks! Always be seen with decrepit old men--you ll look young and beautiful in comparison. Think how well this works for those Girls Next Door. Bookseller Inventory # AAR9780062025746

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Lisa Ann Walter
Published by HarperCollins Publishers Inc, United States (2011)
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Book Description HarperCollins Publishers Inc, United States, 2011. Hardback. Book Condition: New. 208 x 142 mm. Language: English . Brand New Book. Follow one woman s bumpy, cellulite-riddled ride through size-0 Hollywood and learn how she went from body-dysmorphic to sassy-asstastic in only twenty-five short years of dieting, thousands of dollars in procedures, . . . and one pair of industrial-strength Spanx.From the best girlfriend you didn t know you had comes this I Can t Believe She Said That guide to life in the real world. Actress and comic Lisa Ann Walter dishes about parenthood and the dangers of girl-on-girl snarking, explains why skinny actresses act crazy, and gives riotous advice on everything from the dating mistakes we all make to ten things you should subtract when you weigh yourself (self-tanner and dental work, for starters . . .).So what do you get when you drop a longtime self-loather into the glitz and glamour of Hollywood? This hysterical, and brutally honest, look at the impossible standard of perfection for which so many of us strive. Walter boldly shares her lifelong struggle with low self-esteem--which, in her case, includes plenty of painful auditions, failed relationships, and awkward celebrity encounters, plus lots of impossible diets, questionable injectables, and dubious cosmetic procedures. Along the way, the celebrity adjacent Walter also tells her sometimes warm, often cringeworthy, and always funny Hollywood stories (including the reason she d kill for Richard Gere). She also shares her sage advice by offering features such as ways to improve your self-esteem that won t cost you a dime: Four words: Push-up. Bra. Construction. Site. You don t even have to look good to get a response. Just wear sunglasses, square your shoulders, and toss your hair. Then count the whistles.Start frequenting your local gay bar. Both gays and lesbians are much more effusive about how fabulous you are! And you ll get free drinks! Always be seen with decrepit old men--you ll look young and beautiful in comparison. Think how well this works for those Girls Next Door. Bookseller Inventory # AAR9780062025746

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