Addicted to Unhappiness : Free yourself from moods and behaviors that undermine relationships, work, and the life you want

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9780071385497: Addicted to Unhappiness : Free yourself from moods and behaviors that undermine relationships, work, and the life you want

The Pieper/Pieper PhD/MD team published one of the best-received parenting books of 1999: Smart Love: The Compassionate Alternative to Discipline that Will Make You a Better Parent and Your Child a Better Person. Smart Love, published by Harvard Common Press, has sold 40,000 copies in hardcover at 22.95 since April 1999 and will be released as a trade paperback in May 2001. The authors received extensive national media coverage and endorsements from everyone from Ann Landers to the founder of Children's Television Workshop. Now, the Piepers have turned their attention to adults. Addicted to Unhappiness is based on their own clinical research into the nature of children's love for their parents and the way in which it fosters an unrecognized "addiction" to unhappiness that follows them into adulthood. In their work with hundreds of children and adults, the Piepers discovered that when discipline and excessive expectations are imposed on young children, they learn to equate feelings of unhappiness with loving relationships. This misidentification persists into adulthood and explains why so many adults create unhappiness in the process of seeking happiness and love. This unrecognized self-sabotage is the explanation for diverse yet common problems such as overspending, fear of new situations, romantic choices that break hearts, and career mishaps. Addicted to Unhappiness offers a plan for life that helps readers understand their secret need to be unhappy, overcome it, and reclaim the happiness that is their true birthright. In the process, they will learn to conquer health problems including destructive moods, overeating and lack of exercise; build strong, lasting relationships; and achieve career satisfaction and success. Like the best selling Toxic Parents (Forward) and Necessary Losses (Viorst), Addicted to Unhappiness shows readers that the effects of their childhood experiences live on to affect them as adults. Unlike Toxic Parents, however, the Piepers do not blame parents or encourage readers to engage in aggressive confrontations with them, taking instead an enlightened, understanding approach. Unlike Necessary Losses, Addicted to Unhappiness does not suggest that frequent bouts of inner happiness are normal and inevitable. Instead, it offers readers a well-founded optimism, based on research, that the birthright of every person is an inner happiness that can remain stable in the face of the ups and downs of everyday life. Addicted to Unhappiness includes illustrative case examples drawn from the authors' own practice, general guidelines, self-assessment exercises and concrete, practical steps for achieving change - all in the context of a life plan for inner happiness. For more than 25 years, the Piepers have each been in private practice treating children, adolescents and adults; supervising other mental health professionals, and doing clinical research. Martha Heineman Pieper received her PhD from the University of Chicago and her BA from Radcliff College. Dr. Pieper served on the editorial bards of Social Work and Smith College Studies in Social Work and has published extensively in professional journals. William J. Pieper received his BS and MD degrees from the University of Illinois. He has served as a research fellow at the National Cancer Institute in Bethesda, MD, on the faculty of the Chicago Institute for Psychoanalysis, and has taught at the University of Chicago School of Social Service Administration. The Piepers are the parents of five children. Hometown: Chicago, IL

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From the Back Cover:

Are you experiencing the happiness you deserve?

If you have difficulty keeping resolutions, fight with those you care about, or find it hard to rebound emotionally from upsetting events, you may be suffering from an addiction to unhappiness. Fortunately, the power to improve the most meaningful aspects of your life always remains in your own hands, especially with Addicted to Unhappiness as your guide.

Like so many others who struggle to better their lives, you have probably made repeated attempts at improvement that never resulted in lasting change. Best-selling author team Martha and William Pieper apply their years of psychotherapeutic work with children, adolescents, and adults to show you that before you can live the life you want it helps to recognize and understand the internal struggles that stand in your way. In this powerful, breakthrough guide, you'll learn how this addiction to unhappiness stems from parenting styles based on discipline and excessive expectations, which condition children to equate unhappiness with love, and you'll discover how to overcome your addiction and achieve a stable sense of inner balance and happiness.

Both optimistic and realistic, Addicted to Unhappiness focuses equally on effective strategies for positive change and on combating the forces that oppose self-improvement. The phases in overcoming the addiction to unhappiness are: getting started (even when you don't feel like it); coping with episodes of backsliding; keeping your resolve when it starts to evaporate; and thinking of yourself as a recovering addict to unhappiness.

The Piepers offer you a lifelong program to guide you through the journey to self-fulfillment. You'll learn how to transform those inevitable moments when you lose momentum into opportunities for growth and long-term success. You will discover that backsliding is actually part of the healing process rather than a reason to feel upset and discouraged.

Start getting more pleasure out of life. Addicted to Unhappiness arms you with the knowledge to change your life for the better, and forever.

Are YOU addicted to unhappiness?

  • Are you unable to follow through on important resolutions?
  • Are you frustrated or inefficient at work?
  • Is your love life unrewarding or filled with conflict?
  • Are you plagued by unpleasant emotions for no apparent reason?

Break free from discomfort and hold on to happiness.

Everyone is born with the potential to live happy, fulfilled lives, but many of us find it difficult to realize that potential. Best-selling authors Martha and William Pieper will help you understand how you unknowingly became an addict to unhappiness and then give you effective strategies to help you recognize and overcome the learned need to undermine your constructive efforts. Using real-life examples drawn from their clinical experience, the authors provide insights and suggestions that help you choose and maintain the happiness you deserve.

In Addicted to Unhappiness, you'll discover:

  • The origins of your addiction and ways it interferes in your life
  • A step-by-step plan to kick your habit
  • How to turn setbacks into victories
  • The ability to move beyond relationship conflicts and embrace closeness
  • Effective ways to get control over painful moods
  • A successful approach to achieving a healthy weight and a fit body

And much more!

From the Inside Flap:

If you have difficulty keeping resolutions, fight with those you care about, are in the power of substance abuse, or find it hard to rebound emotionally from upsetting events, you may be suffering from an addiction to unhappiness. Fortunately, the power to improve the most meaningful aspects of your life always remains in your own hands with Addicted to Unhappiness as your guide.
Like so many others who struggle to better their lives, you have probably made repeated attempts at improvement that never resulted in lasting change. Best-selling author team Martha Heineman Pieper, Ph.D. and William J. Pieper, M.D. apply their years of psychotherapeutic work with children, adolescents, and adults to show you that before you can live the life you want it helps to recognize and understand the internal struggles that stand in your way.  You'll discover how to overcome your addiction and achieve a stable sense of inner balance and happiness. Both optimistic and realistic, Addicted to Unhappiness focuses equally on effective strategies for positive change and on combating the forces that oppose self-improvement. The authors guide you through getting started I(even when you don't feel like it), coping with episodes of backsliding, keeping your resolve when it starts to evaporate, and thinking of yourself as a recovering addict to unhappiness.
The Piepers offer a lifelong program to guide you through the journey to self-fulfillment.  You'll learn how to transform those inevitable moments when you lose momentum into opportunities for growth and long-term success.  You will discover that backsliding is actually part of the healing process rather than a reason to feel upset and discouraged. Start getting more pleasure out of life.   Addicted to Unhappiness arms you with the knowledge to change your life for the better, and forever.

"About this title" may belong to another edition of this title.

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