Ted L. Nancy Letters from a Nut

ISBN 13: 9780091895365

Letters from a Nut

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9780091895365: Letters from a Nut

Spoof letter writing has a long history from Lazlo Toth to Henry Root but nothing can prepare you for the uniquely surreal and endearing world of Ted L Nancy. A kind of Trigger Happy correspondence, his innocent requests, queries, complaints, demands and suggestions to hotels, airlines, multi-national corporations, local government and department stores are so absurd it is amazing they fool anyone - but often the deadpan responses are even more hilarious. Ted wants to know if he can graft his big toe onto his nose, why his wife left him while he was in a coma for another man in a coma, and if he can consummate his marriage in the administrative office of the chapel. He writes to hotels telling them he eats his mattress. He writes to casinos to ask if his band the 'Fat Beatles' can perform and if he can stay in their hotel dressed as a bladder. Utterly addictive and wet-yourself-in-a-public-place funny: Dear Business Permits Dept: I want to apply for a business permit in your fine city...I operate the SOUP & SLEEP RESTAURANTS. You can either order soup or sleep. A hostess will greet you and you would say, "I'd like to sleep." She will lead you to a table where you can catch a few winks. Dear Helena Ocean & Dog Licensing Dept: I will stage the play "MARK TWAIN WITH TOURETTE'S SYNDROME."...Let me know what arrangements I need to make to store my anchovy tank at your seaport. Thank you. I await large crowds.

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Review:

What if you wrote to the Baseball Hall of Fame offering to donate a full set of Mickey Mantle's toenail clippings? Why, they'd be glad to have 'em--even if you are "a Level 4 bed-wetter." Cooperstown is only one of many institutions terrorized in Letters from a Nut, a collection of crazed correspondence by Ted L. Nancy. The name is a pseudonym, perhaps for Jerry Seinfeld, who wrote the introduction. Seinfeld never comes clean, but the yocks sure sound like his material. And the letters have his prints all over them--who else would write the L.A. Lakers posing as a rabid fan who wears pants with a see-through back end, "for medical reasons"? Whoever wrote it, the book's a real lark. Where else can you meet "Pip, the Mighty Squeak," a man who gambles in a giant shrimp costume, or a corn that looks like Shelley Fabares? Only inside the fevered brain of Ted L. Nancy--whether he's Jerry Seinfeld or not.

From the Inside Flap:

Who is Ted L. Nancy?

He's a concerned hotel guest searching for a lost tooth...

He's a superstitious Vegas high-roller who wants to gamble at a casino in his lucky shrimp outfit...

He's the genius inventor of "Six Day Underwear"...

He's a demanding dramatist seeking an audience for his play about his 26-year-old dog, Cinnamon...

He's a loyal fan of the King of Tonga...

He is, in reality, a supremely off-kilter alter ego who sends patently ridiculous letters and queries to (and receives surprisingly earnest responses back from) corporate honchos, entertainment conglomerates, national publications, politicians, celebrities and heads of state -- to everyone, in fact, from the president of the Bon Ami Cleanser Company to U.S. Vice President Al Gore.

Letters from a Nut is an insanely inspired, truly madcap collection of Nancy correspondence, a laugh-out-loud-in-public-places aggregation of official -- and officially certifiable -- requests, complaints, fan mail and questions that could not possibly have been taken seriously...but, amazingly, were!

Dear Mr. Nancy:

"It is not often that we receive such enthusiastic support for the paper bag".

-- The Paper Bag Council

"On behalf of Greyhound, there should be no problem traveling while in your butter costume". -- Greyhound Bus Lines

"I look forward to working with you to create a better future for this great nation".

-- Vice President Al Gore

"About this title" may belong to another edition of this title.

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Book Description Ebury Publishing, United Kingdom, 2003. Paperback. Book Condition: New. 224 x 140 mm. Language: English . Brand New Book. Spoof letter writing has a long history from Lazlo Toth to Henry Root but nothing can prepare you for the uniquely surreal and endearing world of Ted L Nancy. A kind of Trigger Happy correspondence, his innocent requests, queries, complaints, demands and suggestions to hotels, airlines, multi-national corporations, local government and department stores are so absurd it is amazing they fool anyone - but often the deadpan responses are even more hilarious. Ted wants to know if he can graft his big toe onto his nose, why his wife left him while he was in a coma for another man in a coma, and if he can consummate his marriage in the administrative office of the chapel. He writes to hotels telling them he eats his mattress. He writes to casinos to ask if his band the Fat Beatles can perform and if he can stay in their hotel dressed as a bladder. Utterly addictive and wet-yourself-in-a-public-place funny: Dear Business Permits Dept: I want to apply for a business permit in your fine city.I operate the SOUP SLEEP RESTAURANTS. You can either order soup or sleep. A hostess will greet you and you would say, I d like to sleep. She will lead you to a table where you can catch a few winks. Dear Helena Ocean Dog Licensing Dept: I will stage the play MARK TWAIN WITH TOURETTE S SYNDROME. .Let me know what arrangements I need to make to store my anchovy tank at your seaport. Thank you. I await large crowds. Bookseller Inventory # AAZ9780091895365

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Ted L. Nancy
Published by Ebury Publishing, United Kingdom (2003)
ISBN 10: 0091895367 ISBN 13: 9780091895365
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Book Description Ebury Publishing, United Kingdom, 2003. Paperback. Book Condition: New. 224 x 140 mm. Language: English . Brand New Book. Spoof letter writing has a long history from Lazlo Toth to Henry Root but nothing can prepare you for the uniquely surreal and endearing world of Ted L Nancy. A kind of Trigger Happy correspondence, his innocent requests, queries, complaints, demands and suggestions to hotels, airlines, multi-national corporations, local government and department stores are so absurd it is amazing they fool anyone - but often the deadpan responses are even more hilarious. Ted wants to know if he can graft his big toe onto his nose, why his wife left him while he was in a coma for another man in a coma, and if he can consummate his marriage in the administrative office of the chapel. He writes to hotels telling them he eats his mattress. He writes to casinos to ask if his band the Fat Beatles can perform and if he can stay in their hotel dressed as a bladder. Utterly addictive and wet-yourself-in-a-public-place funny: Dear Business Permits Dept: I want to apply for a business permit in your fine city.I operate the SOUP SLEEP RESTAURANTS. You can either order soup or sleep. A hostess will greet you and you would say, I d like to sleep. She will lead you to a table where you can catch a few winks. Dear Helena Ocean Dog Licensing Dept: I will stage the play MARK TWAIN WITH TOURETTE S SYNDROME. .Let me know what arrangements I need to make to store my anchovy tank at your seaport. Thank you. I await large crowds. Bookseller Inventory # AAZ9780091895365

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Book Description Ebury Publishing. Paperback. Book Condition: new. BRAND NEW, Letters from a Nut: With an Introduction by Jerry Seinfeld, Ted L. Nancy, Jerry Seinfeld, Spoof letter writing has a long history from Lazlo Toth to Henry Root but nothing can prepare you for the uniquely surreal and endearing world of Ted L Nancy. A kind of Trigger Happy correspondence, his innocent requests, queries, complaints, demands and suggestions to hotels, airlines, multi-national corporations, local government and department stores are so absurd it is amazing they fool anyone - but often the deadpan responses are even more hilarious. Ted wants to know if he can graft his big toe onto his nose, why his wife left him while he was in a coma for another man in a coma, and if he can consummate his marriage in the administrative office of the chapel. He writes to hotels telling them he eats his mattress. He writes to casinos to ask if his band the 'Fat Beatles' can perform and if he can stay in their hotel dressed as a bladder. Utterly addictive and wet-yourself-in-a-public-place funny: Dear Business Permits Dept: I want to apply for a business permit in your fine city.I operate the SOUP & SLEEP RESTAURANTS. You can either order soup or sleep. A hostess will greet you and you would say, "I'd like to sleep." She will lead you to a table where you can catch a few winks. Dear Helena Ocean & Dog Licensing Dept: I will stage the play "MARK TWAIN WITH TOURETTE'S SYNDROME.".Let me know what arrangements I need to make to store my anchovy tank at your seaport. Thank you. I await large crowds. Bookseller Inventory # B9780091895365

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Book Description Ebury Press. Book Condition: New. 2003. Paperback. Features the author's correspondence, his innocent requests, queries, complaints, demands and suggestions to hotels, airlines, multi-national corporations, local government and department stores. Num Pages: 192 pages, illustrations. BIC Classification: WH. Category: (G) General (US: Trade). Dimension: 202 x 157 x 15. Weight in Grams: 224. . . . . . Books ship from the US and Ireland. Bookseller Inventory # V9780091895365

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