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Having finally settled down at the age of 34 with her partner and two cats in a Cape Town apartment, Susan is faced with the biggest dilemma of her life. Her childhood dream of becoming a mother has not disappeared by the recent revelation, both to herself and her bewildered family, that she is in fact, horrors, a lesbian! Having made peace with this awkward fact that she is now faced with a colossal problem – with no penis around, how the hell do you make babies?
Susan and her partner, Roxi, embark on a somewhat humorous adventure on how to conceive their first child. Susan bravely appoints herself to ‘go first’, much to the relief of Roxi who has still not come to terms with her own identity, and is nowhere near ‘coming out’ to her God-fearing family.
The couple explore various options that lead to dead ends before they settle on a Tall Dark Handsome stranger sperm donor.
It takes two insemination attempts for Susan to fall pregnant, both times with Roxi cheering from the sidelines: “Swim little fishies, swim!” The pregnancy goes smoothly but forces Roxi into confronting her shocked parents who’ve only recently been told that she is in a relationship with a woman.
The pregnancy also coincides with gay marriage becoming legal in South Africa and the couple decides to have a civil union to ensure Roxi’s parental rights once the baby is born. The union takes place at the Cape Town Magistrate’s court 10 days before Finn is born.
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Susan Newham is a journalist, features writer and columnist. She has worked in the magazine industry for 12 years on titles such as Woman's Value and Femina. and has a regular column on Parent24.
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