The Heart of Grief: Death and the Search for Lasting Love - Hardcover

Attig, Thomas

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 0195118731 ISBN 13: 9780195118735

Publisher: Oxford University Press, 2000

Synopsis

"What's gone and what's past help," Shakespeare wrote, "should be past grief." But Thomas Attig argues that Shakespeare is wrong--that a grieving survivor need never let go.
In The Heart of Grief, Attig gives us an inspiring and profoundly insightful meditation on the meaning of grief, showing how it can be the path toward a lasting love of those who have died. Recounting dozens of stories of people who have struggled with deaths in their lives, he describes grieving as a transition from loving in presence to loving in separation. The thing we long for most--the return of the one who is missing--is the very thing that we can never have, kindling the intense pain of our loss. But Attig argues that we can, in fact, build an enduring, even reciprocal, love, a love that tempers our pain. He tells stories, for instance, of a young girl taking some of her dead sister's practical advice as she enters high school, a widower realizing how much intimate life with his wife has colored his character, and an athlete drawing inspiration from his dead brother and achieving what they had dreamed of together. Far from forgetting our loved ones, Attig urges us to explore ways in which our memories of the departed can be sustained, our understanding of them enhanced, and their legacies embraced, so they continue to play active roles in our everyday and inner lives.
Groundbreaking and original, inspiring and compassionate, The Heart of Grief offers guidance, comfort, and a new understanding of how we grieve.

About this title

About the Author:

Thomas Attig is the author of How We Grieve: Relearning the World (OUP). A former professor of philosophy and Past President of the Association for Death Education and Counseling, he is a highly sought-after speaker. He lives in San Francisco, California.

Review:

"A book that will touch your heart, bring you to tears and heal your life. It is a book of truths because it contains the only thing which reveals the truth, a story. Everyone suffers loss so have the wisdom and courage to read, learn, feel and heal. I think so highly of this work that every one of our children will receive a copy. I receive many books few get that high a rating."--Bernie Siegel, MD, author of Love, Medicine & Miracles:Prescriptions For Living

"With simple eloquence and clear compassion, Attig topples the myth that grieving those who die requires letting go, and instead explores the sustaining connections that survive physical separation. This book is an invaluable guide to all bereaved persons who strive to restore wholeness to a love strained by loss, and who seek practical and spiritual counsel on how to find hope and even growth in the wake of desolation."--Robert A. Neimeyer, Ph.D, author of Lessons of Loss: A Guide to Coping and editor of Death Studies

"When those we love die, our love for them does not. This compassionate book lifts up this simple truth and, in doing so, affirms and heals. Mourners will identify in particular with the many real-life stories. Truly, The Heart of Grief is a treasure trove of healing wisdom and guidance for anyone who grieves."-- Dr. Alan Wolfelt, author of Understanding Grief: Helping Yourself Heal and Director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition

"This book offers a powerful message to those who are grieving--"You do not have to let go"--that we can continue to love, remember and celebrate the lives and legacies of those we lost. If I were in the midst of grief, I hope someone would offer me this powerful, hope-filled book."-Kenneth J. Doka, Ph.D., Professor of Gerontology, The College of New Rochelle and Senior Consultant, The Hospice Foundation of America

"Tom Attig has long been interested in the concrete stories of individual grievers. In The Heart of Grief he retells a multitude of those stories in order to develop sensitive insights for bereaved persons and guide them in constructive ways. A masterful achievement!"-Charles A. Corr, Professor emeritus, Southern Illinois University

"A brilliant sequel to Solomon's Song of Songs with exquisite story-images, thoughtful and sensitive wisdom resulting in the life-affirming message that 'love is stronger than death'"-Rabbi Earl A. Grollman, D.H.L., D.D., and author of Living When a Loved One Has Died

"Tom Attig brilliantly illuminates the phenomenon of lasting love. Where other authors have only theorized, he operationalizes and concretizes; where others have merely offered philosophical perspectives, he delineates specific courses of action to enable healthy, continuing, and life-affirming connections with those who have died."-- Therese A. Rando, Ph.D., author of How To Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies and Clinical Director of The Institute for the Study and Treatment of Loss, Warwick, Rhode Island

About this edition

• Publisher: Oxford University Press
• Publication date: 2000
• ISBN 10: 0195118731
• ISBN 13: 9780195118735
• Binding: Hardcover
• Edition number: 1
• Number of pages: 320