Love Is a Story: A New Theory of Relationships

3.78 avg rating
( 117 ratings by Goodreads )
 
9780195131024: Love Is a Story: A New Theory of Relationships
View all copies of this ISBN edition:
 
 

In this groundbreaking work, Robert Sternberg opens the book of love and shows you how to discover your own story--and how to read your relationships in a whole new light.
What draws us so strongly to some people and repels us from others? What makes some relationships work so smoothly and others burst into flames? Sternberg gives us new answers to these questions by showing that the kind of relationship we create depends on the kind of love stories we carry inside us. Drawing on extensive research and fascinating examples of real couples, Sternberg identifies 26 types of love story--including the fantasy story, the business story, the collector story, the horror story, and many others--each with its distinctive advantages and pitfalls, and many of which are clashingly incompatible. These are the largely unconscious preconceptions that guide our romantic choices, and it is only by becoming aware of the kind of story we have about love that we gain the freedom to create more fulfilling and lasting relationships. As long as we remain oblivious to the role our stories play, we are likely to repeat the same mistakes again and again. But the enlivening good news this book brings us is that though our stories drive us, we can revise them and learn to choose partners whose stories are more compatible with our own.
Quizzes in each chapter help you to see which stories you identify with most strongly and which apply to your partner. Are you a traveler, a gardener, a teacher, or something else entirely? Love is a Story shows you how to find out.

"synopsis" may belong to another edition of this title.

Review:

We've all seen them: that annoying couple that is always bickering, always arguing, always seeming to be on the verge of a breakup (think Ethel and Fred Mertz), yet somehow, keeps the relationship going, actually staying married till death do them part. And then there's the couple that's simply perfect for each other. Maybe he was the captain of the football team and she was the prom queen. They finish each other's sentences. They habitually exhibit public displays of affection. Somehow, though, they're unable to keep it together and end up splitting up, frequently not even sure themselves why it happened. How do these things happen? What is it that determines which relationships will work and which are destined to fail? Robert J. Sternberg, a professor of psychology at Yale University and author of Successful Intelligence, has developed the theory of a "love story" to help explain how relationships function, which he explores in his groundbreaking book, Love Is a Story.

Sternberg purports that each one of us creates a love story for ourselves. These stories are created unconsciously and usually at a fairly young age. When we get older, Sternberg tells us, our relationships are dictated by the kind of stories we have created, often causing difficulty when our partner's stories are incompatible with our own. In his illuminating work, Sternberg first briefly explains where our stories come from and how we formulate them. Then, in the bulk of the text, he identifies 26 different kinds of love stories, giving two case studies for each one. The types range from the war story to the house and home story to the science-fiction story. The positive and negative attributes for each are given, plus a small questionnaire to determine if you fall into a particular pattern. The last section of the book examines the implications of what you've learned.

Sternberg has some interesting points in his book--and certainly learning what kind of unconscious love patterns you hold onto is helpful--but at times the view seems rather bleak. All of the stories seem to have significant downsides to them, perhaps making the reader reluctant to identify with any particular group. Also, as you are sure to be more multidimensional than the rather flat characters in the case studies, you are likely to fall into more than one group, which, Sternberg permits, is a possibility, but it makes it more difficult to attack the problems at hand. His book, however, is a unique study presenting new ideas that make a lot of sense and could explain your relationship trends. Love Is a Story just may give you valuable insight into why your relationships may or may not be working and give you the knowledge you need to help you find the right person. --Jenny Brown

About the Author:


Robert J. Sternberg, Ph.D., is IBM Professor of Psychology and Education at Yale University. He is the coauthor of Satisfaction in Close Relationships, the author of Successful Intelligence, Thinking Styles and many other books and articles. He lives in Hamden, Connecticut.

"About this title" may belong to another edition of this title.

Buy New View Book
List Price: US$ 42.95
US$ 42.13

Convert Currency

Shipping: FREE
From United Kingdom to U.S.A.

Destination, Rates & Speeds

Add to Basket

Other Popular Editions of the Same Title

9780195106428: Love is a Story: A New Theory of Relationships

Featured Edition

ISBN 10:  0195106423 ISBN 13:  9780195106428
Publisher: Oxford University Press, 1998
Hardcover

Top Search Results from the AbeBooks Marketplace

1.

Robert J. Sternberg
Published by Oxford University Press Inc, United States (1999)
ISBN 10: 0195131029 ISBN 13: 9780195131024
New Paperback Quantity Available: 10
Print on Demand
Seller:
Book Depository International
(London, United Kingdom)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Oxford University Press Inc, United States, 1999. Paperback. Condition: New. Revised ed.. Language: English . Brand New Book ***** Print on Demand *****. In this groundbreaking work, Robert Sternberg opens the book of love and shows you how to discover your own story-and how to read your relationships in a whole new light. What draws us so strongly to some people and repels us from others? What makes some relationships work so smoothly and others burst into flames? Sternberg gives us new answers to these questions by showing that the kind of relationship we create depends on the kind of love stories we carry inside us. Drawing on extensive research and fascinating examples of real couples, Sternberg identifies 26 types of love story-including the fantasy story, the business story, the collector story, the horror story, and many others-each with its distinctive advantages and pitfalls, and many of which are clashingly incompatible. These are the largely unconscious preconceptions that guide our romantic choices, and it is only by becoming aware of the kind of story we have about love that we gain the freedom to create more fulfilling and lasting relationships. As long as we remain oblivious to the role our stories play, we are likely to repeat the same mistakes again and again. But the enlivening good news this book brings us is that though our stories drive us, we can revise them and learn to choose partners whose stories are more compatible with our own. Quizzes in each chapter help you to see which stories you identify with most strongly and which apply to your partner. Are you a traveler, a gardener, a teacher, or something else entirely? Love is a Story shows you how to find out. Seller Inventory # AAV9780195131024

More information about this seller | Contact this seller

Buy New
US$ 42.13
Convert Currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: FREE
From United Kingdom to U.S.A.
Destination, Rates & Speeds

2.

STERNBERG
Published by Oxford University Press
ISBN 10: 0195131029 ISBN 13: 9780195131024
New Quantity Available: 15
Seller:
INDOO
(Avenel, NJ, U.S.A.)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Oxford University Press. Condition: New. Brand New. Seller Inventory # 0195131029

More information about this seller | Contact this seller

Buy New
US$ 38.54
Convert Currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: US$ 3.60
Within U.S.A.
Destination, Rates & Speeds

3.

Robert J. Sternberg
Published by Oxford University Press Inc, United States (1999)
ISBN 10: 0195131029 ISBN 13: 9780195131024
New Paperback Quantity Available: 10
Print on Demand
Seller:
The Book Depository
(London, United Kingdom)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Oxford University Press Inc, United States, 1999. Paperback. Condition: New. Revised ed.. Language: English . Brand New Book ***** Print on Demand *****.In this groundbreaking work, Robert Sternberg opens the book of love and shows you how to discover your own story-and how to read your relationships in a whole new light. What draws us so strongly to some people and repels us from others? What makes some relationships work so smoothly and others burst into flames? Sternberg gives us new answers to these questions by showing that the kind of relationship we create depends on the kind of love stories we carry inside us. Drawing on extensive research and fascinating examples of real couples, Sternberg identifies 26 types of love story-including the fantasy story, the business story, the collector story, the horror story, and many others-each with its distinctive advantages and pitfalls, and many of which are clashingly incompatible. These are the largely unconscious preconceptions that guide our romantic choices, and it is only by becoming aware of the kind of story we have about love that we gain the freedom to create more fulfilling and lasting relationships. As long as we remain oblivious to the role our stories play, we are likely to repeat the same mistakes again and again. But the enlivening good news this book brings us is that though our stories drive us, we can revise them and learn to choose partners whose stories are more compatible with our own. Quizzes in each chapter help you to see which stories you identify with most strongly and which apply to your partner. Are you a traveler, a gardener, a teacher, or something else entirely? Love is a Story shows you how to find out. Seller Inventory # AAV9780195131024

More information about this seller | Contact this seller

Buy New
US$ 43.68
Convert Currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: FREE
From United Kingdom to U.S.A.
Destination, Rates & Speeds

4.

Sternberg, Robert J. Phd
ISBN 10: 0195131029 ISBN 13: 9780195131024
New Quantity Available: 15
Seller:
Paperbackshop-US
(Wood Dale, IL, U.S.A.)
Rating
[?]

Book Description 1999. PAP. Condition: New. New Book. Shipped from US within 10 to 14 business days. Established seller since 2000. Seller Inventory # VU-9780195131024

More information about this seller | Contact this seller

Buy New
US$ 41.20
Convert Currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: US$ 3.99
Within U.S.A.
Destination, Rates & Speeds

5.

Sternberg, Robert J., PhD
Published by Oxford University Press (2016)
ISBN 10: 0195131029 ISBN 13: 9780195131024
New Paperback Quantity Available: 1
Print on Demand
Seller:
Ria Christie Collections
(Uxbridge, United Kingdom)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Oxford University Press, 2016. Paperback. Condition: New. PRINT ON DEMAND Book; New; Publication Year 2016; Not Signed; Fast Shipping from the UK. No. book. Seller Inventory # ria9780195131024_lsuk

More information about this seller | Contact this seller

Buy New
US$ 43.82
Convert Currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: US$ 5.08
From United Kingdom to U.S.A.
Destination, Rates & Speeds

6.

Sternberg, Robert J.
Published by OUP USA (1999)
ISBN 10: 0195131029 ISBN 13: 9780195131024
New Quantity Available: > 20
Print on Demand
Seller:
Books2Anywhere
(Fairford, GLOS, United Kingdom)
Rating
[?]

Book Description OUP USA, 1999. PAP. Condition: New. New Book. Delivered from our UK warehouse in 4 to 14 business days. THIS BOOK IS PRINTED ON DEMAND. Established seller since 2000. Seller Inventory # LQ-9780195131024

More information about this seller | Contact this seller

Buy New
US$ 39.89
Convert Currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: US$ 11.86
From United Kingdom to U.S.A.
Destination, Rates & Speeds

7.

Robert J. Sternberg
Published by Oxford University Press, USA (1999)
ISBN 10: 0195131029 ISBN 13: 9780195131024
New Paperback Quantity Available: 1
Seller:
Ergodebooks
(RICHMOND, TX, U.S.A.)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Oxford University Press, USA, 1999. Paperback. Condition: New. Seller Inventory # DADAX0195131029

More information about this seller | Contact this seller

Buy New
US$ 48.70
Convert Currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: US$ 3.99
Within U.S.A.
Destination, Rates & Speeds

8.

LOVE IS A STORY A NEW THEORY OF RELATIONSHIPS (PAPERBACK) -
ISBN 10: 0195131029 ISBN 13: 9780195131024
New Quantity Available: 1
Seller:
Herb Tandree Philosophy Books
(Stroud, GLOS, United Kingdom)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Condition: NEW. 9780195131024 This listing is a new book, a title currently in-print which we order directly and immediately from the publisher. For all enquiries, please contact Herb Tandree Philosophy Books directly - customer service is our primary goal. Seller Inventory # HTANDREE01575398

More information about this seller | Contact this seller

Buy New
US$ 42.72
Convert Currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: US$ 10.54
From United Kingdom to U.S.A.
Destination, Rates & Speeds

9.

Sternberg, Robert J. Phd
Published by Oxford University Press, USA 6/3/1999 (1999)
ISBN 10: 0195131029 ISBN 13: 9780195131024
New Paperback or Softback Quantity Available: 10
Seller:
BargainBookStores
(Grand Rapids, MI, U.S.A.)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Oxford University Press, USA 6/3/1999, 1999. Paperback or Softback. Condition: New. Love Is a Story: A New Theory of Relationships. Book. Seller Inventory # BBS-9780195131024

More information about this seller | Contact this seller

Buy New
US$ 54.74
Convert Currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: FREE
Within U.S.A.
Destination, Rates & Speeds

10.

Robert J. Sternberg
Published by Oxford University Press Inc, United States (1999)
ISBN 10: 0195131029 ISBN 13: 9780195131024
New Paperback Quantity Available: 10
Seller:
Book Depository hard to find
(London, United Kingdom)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Oxford University Press Inc, United States, 1999. Paperback. Condition: New. Revised ed.. Language: English . This book usually ship within 10-15 business days and we will endeavor to dispatch orders quicker than this where possible. Brand New Book. In this groundbreaking work, Robert Sternberg opens the book of love and shows you how to discover your own story-and how to read your relationships in a whole new light. What draws us so strongly to some people and repels us from others? What makes some relationships work so smoothly and others burst into flames? Sternberg gives us new answers to these questions by showing that the kind of relationship we create depends on the kind of love stories we carry inside us. Drawing on extensive research and fascinating examples of real couples, Sternberg identifies 26 types of love story-including the fantasy story, the business story, the collector story, the horror story, and many others-each with its distinctive advantages and pitfalls, and many of which are clashingly incompatible. These are the largely unconscious preconceptions that guide our romantic choices, and it is only by becoming aware of the kind of story we have about love that we gain the freedom to create more fulfilling and lasting relationships. As long as we remain oblivious to the role our stories play, we are likely to repeat the same mistakes again and again. But the enlivening good news this book brings us is that though our stories drive us, we can revise them and learn to choose partners whose stories are more compatible with our own. Quizzes in each chapter help you to see which stories you identify with most strongly and which apply to your partner. Are you a traveler, a gardener, a teacher, or something else entirely? Love is a Story shows you how to find out. Seller Inventory # BTE9780195131024

More information about this seller | Contact this seller

Buy New
US$ 55.32
Convert Currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: FREE
From United Kingdom to U.S.A.
Destination, Rates & Speeds

There are more copies of this book

View all search results for this book