The Harvard Lampoon Nightlight: A Parody

ISBN 13: 9780307476104

Nightlight: A Parody

3.08 avg rating
( 9,551 ratings by Goodreads )
 
9780307476104: Nightlight: A Parody
View all copies of this ISBN edition:
 
 

About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him–which I assumed was wildly out of his control–that wanted me dead. And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me.

And thus Belle Goose falls in love with the mysterious and sparkly Edwart Mullen in the Harvard Lampoon’s hilarious send-up of Twilight.

Pale and klutzy, Belle arrives in Switchblade, Oregon looking for adventure, or at least an undead classmate. She soon discovers Edwart, a super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls. After witnessing a number of strange events–Edwart leaves his tater tots untouched at lunch! Edwart saves her from a flying snowball!–Belle has a dramatic revelation: Edwart is a vampire. But how can she convince Edwart to bite her and transform her into his eternal bride, especially when he seems to find girls so repulsive?

Complete with romance, danger, insufficient parental guardianship, creepy stalker-like behavior, and a vampire prom, Nightlight is the uproarious tale of a vampire-obsessed girl, looking for love in all the wrong places.

"synopsis" may belong to another edition of this title.

About the Author:

The first volume of the Harvard Lampoon appeared in February, 1876. Written by seven undergraduates and modeled on Punch, the British humor magazine, the debut issue took the Harvard campus by storm. United States President Ulysses S. Grant was advised not to read the magazine, as he would be too much "in stitches" to run the government.

Excerpt. Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.:

It was then that I saw him. He was sitting at a table all by himself, not even eating. He had an entire tray of baked potatoes in front of him and still, he did not touch a single one. How could a human have his pick of baked potatoes and resist them all?  Even odder, he hadn't noticed me, Belle Goose, future Academy Award winner.

A computer sat before him on the table. He stared intently at the screen, narrowing his eyes into slits and concentrating those slits on the screen as if the only thing that mattered to him was physically dominating that screen. He was muscular, like a man who could pin you up against the wall as easily as a poster, yet lean, like a man who would rather cradle you in his arms. He had reddish, blonde-brown hair that was groomed heterosexually. He looked older than the other boys in the room—maybe not as old as God or my father, but certainly a viable replacement. Imagine if you took every woman's idea of a hot guy and averaged it out into one man. This was that man.

"What is that?" I asked, knowing that whatever it was it wasn't avian.

"That's Edwart Mullen," Lucy said.

Edwart. I had never met a boy named Edwart before. Actually, I had never met any human named Edwart before. It was a funny sounding name. Much funnier than Edward.

As we sat there, gazing at him for what seemed like hours but couldn't have been more than the entire lunch period, his eyes suddenly flicked toward me, slithering over my face and boring into my heart like fangs. Then in a flash they went back to glowering at that screen.

"He moved here two years ago from Alaska," she said.

So not only was he pale like me, but he was also an outsider from a state that begins with an "A." I felt a surge of empathy. I had never felt a connection like this before.

"That boy's not worth your time," she said wrongly. "Edwart doesn't date."

I smirked inwardly and snorted outwardly. So, I would be his first girlfriend.

"About this title" may belong to another edition of this title.

Other Popular Editions of the Same Title

9781849013338: Nightlight: A Parody of Twilight

Featured Edition

ISBN 10:  1849013330 ISBN 13:  9781849013338
Publisher: Constable, 2009
Softcover

9780732291464: Nightlight: A Parody

Harper..., 2009
Softcover

Top Search Results from the AbeBooks Marketplace

1.

Lampoon, The Harvard
Published by Vintage
ISBN 10: 0307476103 ISBN 13: 9780307476104
New PAPERBACK Quantity Available: 14
Seller:
Gulf Coast Books
(Memphis, TN, U.S.A.)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Vintage. PAPERBACK. Condition: New. 0307476103 Ships from Tennessee, usually the same or next day. Seller Inventory # Z0307476103ZN

More information about this seller | Contact this seller

Buy New
US$ 7.97
Convert currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: FREE
Within U.S.A.
Destination, rates & speeds

2.

Lampoon, The Harvard
Published by Vintage
ISBN 10: 0307476103 ISBN 13: 9780307476104
New PAPERBACK Quantity Available: 6
Seller:
Orion Tech
(Grand Prairie, TX, U.S.A.)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Vintage. PAPERBACK. Condition: New. 0307476103 . Seller Inventory # Z0307476103ZN

More information about this seller | Contact this seller

Buy New
US$ 7.97
Convert currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: FREE
Within U.S.A.
Destination, rates & speeds

3.

Lampoon, The Harvard
Published by Vintage
ISBN 10: 0307476103 ISBN 13: 9780307476104
New PAPERBACK Quantity Available: 6
Seller:
Your Online Bookstore
(Houston, TX, U.S.A.)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Vintage. PAPERBACK. Condition: New. 0307476103 Ships promptly from Texas. Seller Inventory # Z0307476103ZN

More information about this seller | Contact this seller

Buy New
US$ 7.97
Convert currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: FREE
Within U.S.A.
Destination, rates & speeds

4.

The Harvard Lampoon
ISBN 10: 0307476103 ISBN 13: 9780307476104
New Quantity Available: 1
Seller:
eQuip Online
(ALIQUIPPA, PA, U.S.A.)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Condition: New. Shipped within 24 hrs of purchase. Satisfaction guaranteed!. Seller Inventory # 29H785000R90

More information about this seller | Contact this seller

Buy New
US$ 3.99
Convert currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: US$ 3.99
Within U.S.A.
Destination, rates & speeds

5.

THE HARVARD LAMPOON
Published by Penguin Random House
ISBN 10: 0307476103 ISBN 13: 9780307476104
New Quantity Available: > 20
Seller:
INDOO
(Avenel, NJ, U.S.A.)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Penguin Random House. Condition: New. Brand New. Seller Inventory # 0307476103

More information about this seller | Contact this seller

Buy New
US$ 8.11
Convert currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: US$ 3.60
Within U.S.A.
Destination, rates & speeds

6.

The Harvard Lampoon
Published by Vintage (2009)
ISBN 10: 0307476103 ISBN 13: 9780307476104
New Paperback Quantity Available: 1
Seller:
Ergodebooks
(RICHMOND, TX, U.S.A.)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Vintage, 2009. Paperback. Condition: New. Seller Inventory # DADAX0307476103

More information about this seller | Contact this seller

Buy New
US$ 7.98
Convert currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: US$ 3.99
Within U.S.A.
Destination, rates & speeds

7.

Harvard Lampoon
Published by Random House USA Inc, United States (2009)
ISBN 10: 0307476103 ISBN 13: 9780307476104
New Paperback Quantity Available: 1
Seller:
Book Depository International
(London, United Kingdom)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Random House USA Inc, United States, 2009. Paperback. Condition: New. Language: English . Brand New Book. About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him-which I assumed was wildly out of his control-that wanted me dead. And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me. And thus Belle Goose falls in love with the mysterious and sparkly Edwart Mullen in the Harvard Lampoon s hilarious send-up of Twilight. Pale and klutzy, Belle arrives in Switchblade, Oregon looking for adventure, or at least an undead classmate. She soon discovers Edwart, a super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls. After witnessing a number of strange events-Edwart leaves his tater tots untouched at lunch! Edwart saves her from a flying snowball!-Belle has a dramatic revelation: Edwart is a vampire. But how can she convince Edwart to bite her and transform her into his eternal bride, especially when he seems to find girls so repulsive? Complete with romance, danger, insufficient parental guardianship, creepy stalker-like behavior, and a vampire prom, Nightlight is the uproarious tale of a vampire-obsessed girl, looking for love in all the wrong places. Seller Inventory # AAS9780307476104

More information about this seller | Contact this seller

Buy New
US$ 12.08
Convert currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: FREE
From United Kingdom to U.S.A.
Destination, rates & speeds

8.

Harvard Lampoon
Published by Random House USA Inc, United States (2009)
ISBN 10: 0307476103 ISBN 13: 9780307476104
New Paperback Quantity Available: 10
Seller:
Book Depository hard to find
(London, United Kingdom)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Random House USA Inc, United States, 2009. Paperback. Condition: New. Language: English . This book usually ship within 10-15 business days and we will endeavor to dispatch orders quicker than this where possible. Brand New Book. About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him-which I assumed was wildly out of his control-that wanted me dead. And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me. And thus Belle Goose falls in love with the mysterious and sparkly Edwart Mullen in the Harvard Lampoon s hilarious send-up of Twilight. Pale and klutzy, Belle arrives in Switchblade, Oregon looking for adventure, or at least an undead classmate. She soon discovers Edwart, a super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls. After witnessing a number of strange events-Edwart leaves his tater tots untouched at lunch! Edwart saves her from a flying snowball!-Belle has a dramatic revelation: Edwart is a vampire. But how can she convince Edwart to bite her and transform her into his eternal bride, especially when he seems to find girls so repulsive? Complete with romance, danger, insufficient parental guardianship, creepy stalker-like behavior, and a vampire prom, Nightlight is the uproarious tale of a vampire-obsessed girl, looking for love in all the wrong places. Seller Inventory # BTE9780307476104

More information about this seller | Contact this seller

Buy New
US$ 12.21
Convert currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: FREE
From United Kingdom to U.S.A.
Destination, rates & speeds

9.

Harvard Lampoon
Published by Random House USA Inc, United States (2009)
ISBN 10: 0307476103 ISBN 13: 9780307476104
New Paperback Quantity Available: 1
Seller:
The Book Depository
(London, United Kingdom)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Random House USA Inc, United States, 2009. Paperback. Condition: New. Language: English . Brand New Book. About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him-which I assumed was wildly out of his control-that wanted me dead. And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me. And thus Belle Goose falls in love with the mysterious and sparkly Edwart Mullen in the Harvard Lampoon s hilarious send-up of Twilight. Pale and klutzy, Belle arrives in Switchblade, Oregon looking for adventure, or at least an undead classmate. She soon discovers Edwart, a super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls. After witnessing a number of strange events-Edwart leaves his tater tots untouched at lunch! Edwart saves her from a flying snowball!-Belle has a dramatic revelation: Edwart is a vampire. But how can she convince Edwart to bite her and transform her into his eternal bride, especially when he seems to find girls so repulsive? Complete with romance, danger, insufficient parental guardianship, creepy stalker-like behavior, and a vampire prom, Nightlight is the uproarious tale of a vampire-obsessed girl, looking for love in all the wrong places. Seller Inventory # AAS9780307476104

More information about this seller | Contact this seller

Buy New
US$ 12.39
Convert currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: FREE
From United Kingdom to U.S.A.
Destination, rates & speeds

10.

The Harvard Lampoon
ISBN 10: 0307476103 ISBN 13: 9780307476104
New Quantity Available: > 20
Seller:
Paperbackshop-US
(Wood Dale, IL, U.S.A.)
Rating
[?]

Book Description 2009. PAP. Condition: New. New Book. Shipped from US within 10 to 14 business days. Established seller since 2000. Seller Inventory # VR-9780307476104

More information about this seller | Contact this seller

Buy New
US$ 8.67
Convert currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: US$ 3.99
Within U.S.A.
Destination, rates & speeds

There are more copies of this book

View all search results for this book