A Very Fine House: A Mother’s Story of Love, Faith, and Crystal Meth

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9780310344414: A Very Fine House: A Mother’s Story of Love, Faith, and Crystal Meth

A Very Fine House is an intimate memoir of a mother’s Norman Rockwell family turned upside down by her daughter’s descent into meth addiction and crime. Bright and beautiful, Annie is an unlikely candidate for meth. Living fast and hard on the streets of Bend, Oregon, she commits crimes against herself, the community, and her own family.

The author chronicles her child’s addiction in a way that other writers have not written about addiction. What begins as an obsession to save her daughter, and a rage against God for allowing drugs to devour her college-age girl, transforms into release in a life changing letting-go-and-letting-God moment. 

The reader is first introduced to the Stoefen family and Barbara’s dream for its idyllic future. Kinks in the perfect life appear. When Annie’s alcoholism, drug use, and criminality ensue, Barbara fights to save her. There is all-consuming grief and the devastating loss of not just her daughter, but her dream for her own life as well. Barbara eventually finds support and a new way of thinking. While she continues the battle to save her daughter, she ultimately finds the courage to save herself. The conclusion deals with Annie’s recovery—and Barbara’s. Both experience a spiritual awakening and are transformed. A new and better dream for Barbara’s life is born.

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About the Author:

Barbara Cofer Stoefen is a drug prevention activist in Oregon and advocate for families with a loved one in active addiction. Barbara is a graduate of the Community Anti-Drug Coalitions of America's (CADCA) National Coalition Academy, and is an active member of several coalitions working to reduce drug and alcohol abuse among minors.  Barbara holds a bachelor's degree in business administration and spent her early career in human resource management at well-known high-tech Silicon Valley companies.  She has been married to Pete for thirty-five years. They have two adult children, Annie and Jeff.

Review:

"Wow. A Very Fine House is a very fine book indeed-- and long overdue in our marketplace. Stoefen's heart-wrenching story about dealing with her daughter's addiction will keep readers turning pages. Her hard-won wisdom will help parents of addicts feel less alone and more importantly, respond to their child's addiction in ways that will save lives. Every person who loves an addicts or parents teens should read this book."  Heather Kopp, author of Sober Mercies: How Love Caught Up With a Christian Drunk

"Having read many memoirs about addiction, this is possibly one of the finest. Ms. Stoefen beautifully writes her story of facing the stinging truth of a child's addiction and, eventually, the sublime struggle to build a life in recovery. If I could, I'd put this book into the hands of every parent in need of hope."  Debra Jay, Addiction Specialist and author of It takes a Family: A Cooperative Approach to Lasting Sobriety (Hazelden, 2014), No More Letting Go (Hazelden, 2006), Love First (2000)

"A Very Fine House truly captures the portrait of addiction... what makes A Very Fine House so enjoyable and so important, is that Barbara doesn't just describe how the brain shuts down and the dreadful behaviors that result. She describes something far more wondrous: how the brain comes back on, and how heartbreak and anger can turn into healing and joy. Hers is a voice that parents will not only recognize but need to hear so they too can begin the journey from common tragedy to shared triumph."Kevin McCauley, MD, Founder, Institute for Addiction Study

"Barbara Stoefen is a member of the club that none of us ever hoped to belong to, and I'm glad she turned her lessons into helping tools for the rest of us. As the mother of a recovering addict myself, I found myself relating strongly to Barbara Stoefen's journey, but she also offered clear information on addiction that gave me new insights, as well as hope for the future. A mother's prayers do make a difference." Terri Blackstock, author of Intervention, Vicious Cycle and Downfall

"Barbara Stoefen's A Very Fine House is truly a gift: the story of a mother's fierce love, a daughter's descent into the darkness of addiction, and a life-changing journey of recovery. Barb's book is a compelling read-- written courageously and candidly, engaging the reader in every chapter with her unique and vulnerable style. I'm already recommending it to people I know."Cheri Fuller, speaker and author of Mother-Daughter Duet, When Mother's Pray, and others.

“... The author explores the nuances of her emotions with refreshing honesty, and records the chaos and destruction of dreams that go along with addiction. “I was furious with God,” she admits. Her despair, her anger at God, and the ways her faith did and did not help her will resonate with readers. She peppers the book with familiar 12-step slogans—“Let go and let God,” for example—but they are truly lived in her narrative.”
Publisher’s Weekly

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Book Description ZONDERVAN, United States, 2014. Hardback. Book Condition: New. Language: English . Brand New Book. A Very Fine House is an intimate memoir of a mother s Norman Rockwell family turned upside down by her daughter s descent into meth addiction and crime. Bright and beautiful, Annie is an unlikely candidate for meth. Living fast and hard on the streets of Bend, Oregon, she commits crimes against herself, the community, and her own family. The author chronicles her child s addiction in a way that other writers have not written about addiction. What begins as an obsession to save her daughter, and a rage against God for allowing drugs to devour her college-age girl, transforms into release in a life changing letting-go-and-letting-God moment. The reader is first introduced to the Stoefen family and Barbara s dream for its idyllic future. Kinks in the perfect life appear. When Annie s alcoholism, drug use, and criminality ensue, Barbara fights to save her. There is all-consuming grief and the devastating loss of not just her daughter, but her dream for her own life as well. Barbara eventually finds support and a new way of thinking. While she continues the battle to save her daughter, she ultimately finds the courage to save herself. The conclusion deals with Annie s recovery-and Barbara s. Both experience a spiritual awakening and are transformed. A new and better dream for Barbara s life is born. Bookseller Inventory # AAS9780310344414

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