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Welcome to the world of Ted L. Nancy. Some have called him inspired, some have called him a goofball, and many have wondered who Ted really is. All we know is that Ted loves to write and it shows-Extra Nutty! is chock full of nut, a record of real live correspondence from America's favorite pen pal to a cross-section of this great nation. Extra Nutty! is bursting with all new letters showing Ted at his looniest.
Take, for example, this:
Dear Business Permits Dept.: I want to apply for a business permit in your fine city...I operate the Soup & Sleep Restaurants. You can either order soup or sleep. A hostess will greet you and you would say, "I'd like to sleep." She will lead you to a table where you can catch a few winks.
Dear Helena Ocean & Dog Licensing Dept: I will stage the play "Mark Twain with Tourette's Syndrome.". . . Let me know what arrangements I need to make to store my anchovie tank at your seaport. Thank you. I await large crowds.
Or even this:
Dear Kmart: I have invented a male underpants liner...This liner fits right in your shorts and can be thrown away after 15 weeks. I have been wearing the same pair of underwear for 105 days now and although they feel a little stretchy they are perfectly clean.
Ted's unique way of looking at the world-and how the world responds to Ted's schemes--is captured here in this extra nutty, hugely hilarious collection.
"synopsis" may belong to another edition of this title.
Ms. Barbara Ramey
PO Box 54143
Los Angeles, CA 90054
Dear MS. Ramey:
Thank you very much for answering my letter concerning the haunted sponge I bought from a Ralphs store. Ralphs has been and always will be the only store I shop in for my food and sponge needs.
In your letter to me you said that I would be hearing from the supplier of this songe. I have not heard from them. And this sponge is bad.
Can someone from Ralphs come and get this sponge from me? This sponge is out to get me. I am afraid.
After I got your letter I went down to my basement and locked that sponge in a steel box and put a chain around that box. Then I wrapped that box in tape and put a shackle around that. Then I boarded up the basement door with over 1000 nails. Then I put a manacle on that door. Then I went upstairs to my room to get a good nights sleep.
At about 3 o'clock in the morning I woke up and looked down. That sponge was right by my bed. I am scared. Please help me.
Also, do you sell Brillo at your store?
When will I hear from the supplier? I need to know. Thank you for your reply.
Ted L. NancyAbout the Author:
Ted L. Nancy is a pseudonym used by Barry Marder. Marder is a comedian, former writer on "Seinfeld" and the co-writer of Dreamworks' animated hit "Bee Movie." He has written for Bill Maher, Jay Leno, & David Letterman.
He also wrote with George Carlin. He is an enthusiastic and busy citizen who lives in Glendale, CA. (He moved there for the paranormal experiences.) He enjoys poppyseeds.
"About this title" may belong to another edition of this title.
Book Description St. Martin's Press. Hardcover. Condition: New. 0312261551 . Seller Inventory # Z0312261551ZN
Book Description St. Martin's Press. Hardcover. Condition: New. 0312261551 New Condition. Light shelf wear on dust jacket. Seller Inventory # JTR-9QW8-D687
Book Description St. Martin's Press, 2000. Hardcover. Condition: New. Seller Inventory # DADAX0312261551
Book Description Hardcover. Condition: BRAND NEW. NEW Book in Mint Condition -- Great DEAL !! Fast Shipping -- Friendly Customer Service -- Buy with Confidence!. Seller Inventory # RP0312261551BN
Book Description St. Martin's Press, 2000. Condition: New. book. Seller Inventory # M0312261551
Book Description St. Martin's Press, 2000. Hardcover. Condition: New. Never used!. Seller Inventory # P110312261551
Book Description St. Martin's Press. Hardcover. Condition: New. 0312261551 New Condition. Seller Inventory # NEW7.0086823