All her world's a stage.
Bertie Shakespeare Smith is not an actress, yet she lives in a theater.
She's not an orphan, but she has no parents.
She knows every part, but she has no lines of her own.
That is, until now.
Enter Stage Right
NATE. Dashing pirate. Will do anything to protect Bertie.
COBWEB, MOTH, MUSTARD SEED, and PEASEBLOSSOM. Four tiny and incredibly annoying fairies. BERTIE'S sidekicks.
ARIEL. Seductive air spirit and Bertie's weakness. The symbol of impending doom.
BERTIE. Our heroine.
Welcome to the Théâtre Illuminata, where the actors of every play ever written can be found behind the curtain. They were born to play their parts, and are bound to the Théâtre by The Book--an ancient and magical tome of scripts. Bertie is not one of them, but they are her family--and she is about to lose them all and the only home she has ever known.
Lisa Mantchev has written a debut novel that is dramatic, romantic, and witty, with an irresistible and irreverent cast of characters who are sure to enchant the audience.
"synopsis" may belong to another edition of this title.
Lisa Mantchev is the author of the Theatre Illuminata series, including Perchance to Dream and Eyes Like Stars. She grew up in the small Northern California town of Ukiah. She wrote her first play in the fourth grade, and has been involved in theater ever since. She received two scholarships to study drama at the University of California, Irvine. She won the Chancellor's Award For Undergraduate Research in Drama her senior year while studying in the Campuswide Honors Program. After graduation, she taught English at the Lycée Internationale de Los Angeles and created their Drama After School Program. In between report cards and drafting scripts for Winter and Spring productions, she wrote fiction. Her first professional short fiction sale was in 2002, and her debut trilogy sold in 2007. Mantchev makes her home on the Olympic Peninsula of Washington state with her husband Angel, her daughter Amélie and four hairy miscreant dogs. When not scribbling, she can be found on the beach, up a tree, making jam or repairing things with her trusty glue gun.Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.:
The fairies flew suspended on wires despite their tendency to get tangled together. Beatrice Shakespeare Smith, busy assessing her reflection in the looking glass and thinking perhaps she shouldn’t have dyed her hair blue on this particular morning, turned to glare at them when they rocketed past the end of her nose for the third time in as many minutes.
“If you make me spill this stuff on the stage,” she said, “I’ll squeeze you until your heads pop off.”
Unperturbed by the threat, Mustardseed swung by her like a demented pendulum. “Going in there with fairy guts on your hands isn’t going to make a good impression!”
“Nervous about your call to the Theater Manager’s Office?” Moth asked, chasing Peaseblossom in circles.
“Not the best of timing,” Cobweb singsonged, hanging upside down at the end of his line, “mucking up your head right before a ten o’clock summons.”
“I’m not getting called on the carpet with my roots showing.” Bertie coated another section with Cobalt Flame liquid concentrate, pilfered just an hour ago from the Wardrobe Department. “Do we like the blue?”
“Better than Crimson Pagoda,” Peaseblossom said. “Your entire head looked like it was on fire that time.”
“Maybe I should have taken Black Cherry.” Bertie stuck her tongue out at the Beatrice-in- the-mirror. “Maybe Cobalt Flame will encourage the Theater Manager to get creative with his punishment.”
“He’ll probably just remove the desserts from the Green Room again,” Peaseblossom said.
The others groaned at the prospect, then Moth perked up to suggest, “He could make you scrub out the toilets in the Ladies’ Dressing Room instead.”
“Or scrape the gum off the bottoms of the auditorium seats,” said Cobweb.
“Ew.” Bertie wrapped another strand of hair in aluminum foil and crimped it against her head. “An excessive punishment for whistling a scene change, don’t you think?”
“ ‘Whistling a scene change’?” Peaseblossom giggled. “That’s a euphemism and a half! You set off the cannon, blew holes through three set pieces, and set the fire curtain on fire.”
“Quite the valuable lesson in emergency preparedness, I think,” Bertie said.
Moth twitched his ears at her. “Pondering our recent criminal history, I must admit there have been more pyro-technic explosions than usual.”
“Maybe the Theater Manager thinks you’re doing it to impress Nate,” Cobweb said.
Bertie felt the blood rush to her face until her cheeks were stained Shocking Pink. “Shut up.”
“It is like you’re acting a part for the dashing pirate lad’s benefit,” Mustardseed said.
Bertie snagged his wire, reeling him in until he reached eye level. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
The fairy twitched. “You know. The hair dye, the black clothes—”
“The clove cigarettes!” Moth added from below.
“The drinking and cursing,” said Cobweb.
“Is it method acting?” Mustardseed asked.
“This is a theater.” Bertie, annoyed by the inquisition, dropped him onto the stage. Several feet of slack cable landed atop the fairy in a slithering heap.
“Oh!” Peaseblossom said. “You’ve buried him alive!”
“I told you it was silly to use the wires when you can fly perfectly well without them,” Bertie said.
“But they’re fun to swing on!” Moth protested as the fairies shed their harnesses and went to investigate the tomb of their fallen comrade.
Indefatigable, Mustardseed emerged from the pile, rubbing his bum. “If it’s not for Nate, is it because of your abandonment issues?”
There was a very long silence before Bertie told her reflection, “The only reason I’m friends with any of you is because I outgrew the von Trapps, one annoying Austrian at a time.”
“You could have joined the Lost Boys,” Moth said.
“They did nothing but whiz on trees, and I’m not properly equipped for that.”
“So you’re stuck with us because of your innate inability to pee standing up?” Peaseblossom put her hands on her hips as she hovered nearby.
“That’s right.” Bertie used her brush to stir the dye.
“We can do lots of stuff besides pee standing up,” Moth said.
“Like sword fighting!” Cobweb slashed and parried with great enthusiasm.
“Call the pirates and the shipwreck scene!” Mustardseed flailed his tiny yellow boots in an improvised hornpipe.
“I’m not supposed to make scene changes and thus I’m appalled by the very suggestion,” Bertie said. “You’re a bad influence, Mustardseed.”
“The rules have never stopped you before.” Peaseblossom looked knowing. “You just don’t want Nate seeing you with your head all slimy.”
Bertie put on her best Lady of the Manor air. “He needn’t wait for an engraved invitation to pay a social call.”
“But he prefers you pin a note to the Call Board,” Peaseblossom reminded her.
The majority of the Players drifted in and out of existence according to the summonses pinned to the Call Board, but the more flamboyant, dashing, or mad the character, the more freedom they had to move about the Théâtre. The fairies dogged Bertie’s every step, whereas Nate was one for protocol.
Probably all that rot about following the captain’s orders.
Bertie’s entire head tingled as the ammonia burned her scalp. She tried not to scratch at it, because that way lay madness... madness and funky-colored fingertips. “It has nothing to do with Nate. I need to finish my hair before the Stage Manager gets back.”
“He should be thankful it’s only dye on your head and not paint all over the stage,” Peaseblossom said.
Bertie glanced at the walls of her room. The three connected scenic flats were part of the Théâtre Illuminata’s enormous collection of backdrops, stored in the flies overhead and in the backstage scenic dock when not in use. “I haven’t painted my set in years.”
Lights up on BERTIE, AGE 7. She is painting over a dingy cream wall with something labeled “Violet Essence” as the STAGE MANAGER glowers at her.
It’s my bedroom, and I’ll do what I want with it.
(To prove her point, she splashes magenta and silver over the violet and smears it around with her hands.)
(grabbing for BERTIE’S ear and missing)
You can answer to the Theater Manager for this mess!
(The THEATER MANAGER arrives with MR. TIBBS, the Scenic Manager.)
(turning to the THEATER MANAGER)
Why you ever decided she needed to sleep here, on the stage, is beyond my powers of reckoning!
She needed a bedroom, and this is the best we could do.
(His face turns three shades of crimson and steam hisses out of his ears like a teakettle.)
But this isn’t a bedroom! We can’t stop the performances for bedtime, which means she’s under-foot until the stage is cleaned! And look at this mess!
(chomping his cigar)
We do not change the colors of the flats. We touch them up, or faithfully reproduce them down to the last paint stroke and bit of gilt. But we do NOT change them!
Just because you don’t change them doesn’t mean I can’t.
Bertie, this place isn’t about change. It’s about eons of tradition.
(crossing her arms)
It’s my bedroom. I should be allowed to do what I like with my bedroom.
(studying BERTIE until she squirms a bit)
That’s true enough. But I wonder what will come next. One day, it’s your bedroom and the next—
Utter chaos and pandemonium!
What color is pandemonium? It sounds yellow.
Beatrice, this is a matter of utmost importance, so I want you to listen to me and answer very carefully.
You like living here, don’t you?
Do you want to remain at the Théâtre?
Of course I do! (stammering) I mean, it’s my home....
Then you need to understand that while we will tolerate a certain amount of....
(He pauses to search for the appropriate word.)
No, I think perhaps the word I was searching for was “creativity.” While we will tolerate, even encourage, your creativity, you must limit it to your personal space.
(frowning hard and trying to understand)
So I can paint my room?
Yes, you may. But you’re forbidden to change anything else. In that regard, you will have to learn to exercisesomething called “self-restraint.” Do you understand?
I think so. I mean, yes. Yes, sir. Now can I have paint the color of pandemonium, Mr. Tibbs?
(scattering cigar ash about the stage)
No, you may not.
(another long moment of contheatre-illuminatalation passes before he nods)
Gentlemen, let the young lady get on with her painting. Bertie, clean up after yourself.
(He begins to make his exit, pausing at the edge of the stage.)
Please do remember what I said about exercising self-restrain...
"About this title" may belong to another edition of this title.
Book Description Feiwel & Friends. Hardcover. Book Condition: New. 0312380968 Ships promptly. Bookseller Inventory # Z0312380968ZN
Book Description Feiwel & Friends, 2009. Soft cover. Book Condition: New. No Jacket. 1st Edition. AUTHOR SIGNED new ADVANCE READING COPY, thus first edition in trade paperback format. new & unused; no marks, not remaindered, not exlib, not bookclub, with full numberline, first editions stated. simple author signature with generic inscription "follow your stars". fiction trade paperback in removable protective plastic cover. Signed by Author(s). Bookseller Inventory # 11029
Book Description Feiwel & Friends, New York, N.Y., USA, 2009. Hardcover. Book Condition: New. Dust Jacket Condition: New. 1st Edition. First Edition stated, with correct number line sequence, no writing, marks, underlining, or bookplates. No remainder marks. Spine is tight and crisp. Boards are flat and true and the corners are square. Dust jacket is not price-clipped. This collectible, " NEW" condition first edition/first printing copy is protected with a polyester archival dust jacket cover. Beautiful collectible copy. GIFT QUALITY. Bookseller Inventory # 004315
Book Description Feiwel & Friends, 2009. Hardcover. Book Condition: New. book. Bookseller Inventory # M0312380968
Book Description Feiwel & Friends, 2009. Hardcover. Book Condition: New. Bookseller Inventory # DADAX0312380968
Book Description Feiwel & Friends, 2009. Hardcover. Book Condition: New. Never used!. Bookseller Inventory # P110312380968
Book Description Fiewel & Friends, US, 2009. Hardcover. Book Condition: New. Dust Jacket Condition: New. Jason Chan (illustrator). First Edition, second Impression. Signed, lined (with a quote from the book) and dated by the author. Also hand-illustrated by Jason Chan, who has drawn a sketch of a fairy. Signed copies of the sequel "Perchance to Dream" also available. This copy has suffered some mild bumping in its transatlantic journey, but is nonetheless an exceptional rarity. Please visit my on-line store at Analectabooks! Synopsis : Beatrice Shakespeare Smith, a sarcastic, likable 17-year-old, must find a way to make herself invaluable to the Théâtre Illuminata or she will be forced to leave the only home she has ever known. How she arrived at the theater as a baby is somewhat of a mystery, and through the years she has been allowed to run free and cause mayhem of one kind or another. Beatrice proposes to re-stage Hamlet set in ancient Egypt and promises it will be the sell-out performance that will restore the Théâtre to its former glory. If that were all, the story line would be fairly straightforward. However, the Théâtre Illuminata is no ordinary theater. Characters from the world's major plays live inside, summoned forth by pinning a note on the Call Board. They are bound to the physical confines of the theater by the pages in The Complete Works of the Stage, an enchanted book. Scene changes happen magically by command, though human Properties and Scenic Managers argue over which pieces belong to whom. The fairies from A Midsummer Night's Dream provide the comic relief, and Ariel and Ophelia provide some of the action. Readers who have some knowledge of or interest in theatrical productions will have the easiest time following the twists and turns of the plot, wondering what crazy thing will happen next will keep them going. The story is clever, and Beatrice is a fun character.¿Cheri Dobbs, Detroit Country Day Middle School, Beverly Hills, MI. Signed by Author and Illustrat. Bookseller Inventory # 000140
Book Description Fiewel & Friends, US, 2009. Soft cover. Book Condition: New. Dust Jacket Condition: None issued. Jason Chan (illustrator). 1st Edition. Signed & lined ("Follow your stars") by the author. Synopsis : Beatrice Shakespeare Smith, a sarcastic, likable 17-year-old, must find a way to make herself invaluable to the Théâtre Illuminata or she will be forced to leave the only home she has ever known. How she arrived at the theater as a baby is somewhat of a mystery, and through the years she has been allowed to run free and cause mayhem of one kind or another. Beatrice proposes to re-stage Hamlet set in ancient Egypt and promises it will be the sell-out performance that will restore the Théâtre to its former glory. If that were all, the story line would be fairly straightforward. However, the Théâtre Illuminata is no ordinary theater. Characters from the world's major plays live inside, summoned forth by pinning a note on the Call Board. They are bound to the physical confines of the theater by the pages in The Complete Works of the Stage, an enchanted book. Scene changes happen magically by command, though human Properties and Scenic Managers argue over which pieces belong to whom. The fairies from A Midsummer Night's Dream provide the comic relief, and Ariel and Ophelia provide some of the action. Readers who have some knowledge of or interest in theatrical productions will have the easiest time following the twists and turns of the plot, wondering what crazy thing will happen next will keep them going. The story is clever, and Beatrice is a fun character.¿Cheri Dobbs, Detroit Country Day Middle School, Beverly Hills, MI. Signed by Author and Illustrat. Bookseller Inventory # 001494
Book Description Feiwel & Friends. Hardcover. Book Condition: New. 0312380968 New Condition. Bookseller Inventory # NEW7.0089603