Tim Wynne-Jones Rex Zero, King of Nothing

ISBN 13: 9780312674786

Rex Zero, King of Nothing

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9780312674786: Rex Zero, King of Nothing
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In sixth grade now, the wildly imaginative Rex Zero and his friends hatch a plan to replace Miss Garr, the substitute teacher from hell, and Rex takes on the persona of none other than "Dr. Love." Of course, events spin hilariously out of control. Miss Garr's cruel behavior is a mystery to Rex. But then, Rex's world is full of mysteries! There's the beautiful woman in white. Why does she have a black eye? There's the little black book filled with names. Who could it belong to? And why has Rex's father hidden a letter that begins: "Mein Liebchen"? Could all these things have something to do with the mystery of love? Underneath all of this is the age-old question of how to stand up and be a man. For if, as Rex's dad says, "a man's got to do what a man's got to do," how does Rex know what to do and when to do it?

Delightfully eccentric characters, humorous scenes of well-intended plans gone awry, a finely crafted plot interwoven with serious themes about love and war―this new Rex Zero from Tim Wynne-Jones is a gem!

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About the Author:

TIM WYNNE-JONES is one of Canada's premier children's authors. His highly praised books include The Boy in the Burning House, winner of the Edgar Award; and A Thief in the House of Memory, an ALA Best Book for Young Adults, a Publishers Weekly Best Book of the Year, and a Kirkus Reviews Editor's Choice. He lives near Perth, Ontario.

Excerpt. Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.:

From Rex Zero, King of Nothing

 

SUNDAY

 

Armistice Day and the sun is shining! It’s cold in my room at the top of the house but not cold enough to catch your death.

      “I’m really worried about going to the service with Dad tomorrow,” I said to Mum the night before, when she came to tuck me in.

      “It’s important for your father, Rex.”

      “Then why is he so crabby?”

      “He always gets that way around now.”

      How can I explain to Dad that even though I’ve been practicing and practicing I’m not ready?

      You see, I’m afraid I’ll faint.

      I’m sure I’ll faint.

      I climb out of bed and shiver until I’ve put on my robe and slippers. I look at myself in the mirror on the wall. Then I take a deep breath and hold it.

      I watch the second hand on my bedside clock. After thirty seconds I’m dying, but I hold on. Forty seconds and I’m going to burst. Fifty-three seconds! But that’s it. The best I can do. I stagger back to bed.

      How will I ever hold my breath for two whole minutes?

      That’s what you have to do on Armistice Day if you go to the service up at the War Memorial. I saw it once on television. At exactly eleven o’clock on the eleventh day of the eleventh month, everybody at the service has to hold their breath for two minutes of silence. Even if you’re only eleven and your father suddenly decides you’ve got to be a man and you’re not ready.

      I sit on my bed and try to think of an illness I can pretend to have that I haven’t pretended to have recently.

      That’s when the caterwauling starts.

      I tiptoe down the stairs to the second floor. It’s Dad. I tiptoe along the hall to the staircase that leads to the main floor. My three older sisters are eavesdropping there.

      Annie Oakley turns and glares at me.

      “Shhhhhh,” she whispers.

      “Don’t shhhhhh so loudly,” says Letitia.

      “God, you children are hopeless!” says Cassiopeia, the eldest.

      We might end up having World War III right here on the stairs, but my father’s voice interrupts the whispering war.

      “Two-thirty?” he shouts. “Two-bloody-thirty-o’-bloody-o’clock?”

      “Darling,” says Mum.

      “Don’t darling me,” says Dad. Then Rupert the Sausage starts to cry. He cries all the time. I lean way over the railing and I can just see him at the end of the hall in the kitchen in his high chair. My little sister, Flora Bella, is standing beside him. It looks as if she just poured orange juice on his head.

      Dad marches out of the kitchen and down the hall. We skitter back up the stairs to the landing. He opens the door to his study, which is right at the bottom of the stairs. He doesn’t notice us. He’s dressed for the big event in a blazer with his war medals on it and a weird little soldier’s cap I’ve never seen before. He shouts back down the hallway.

      “Two-thirty! Is nothing sacred?” Then the study door slams shut behind him.

      It’s the day of the truce, but you wouldn’t know it at our house.

      Dad won’t come out of his study and Mum is fuming, and it’s all because they changed the ceremony up at the War Memorial to the afternoon.

      “It’s so people can go to church,” Mum explains to us as she swabs up orange juice and tries to stop the Sausage from crying. “It’s not usually on a Sunday.”

      “Yes it is,” says Annie Oakley. “Every seven years it’s on a Sunday.”

      “Well, I just wish Daddy would make us breakfast,” says Cassiopeia. “Sunday is his day to make breakfast—the only day he makes breakfast.”

      “Oh, for God’s sake, young lady,” says Mum. “You’re twenty years old. Make it yourself.”

      “No, it’s the principle of the thing,” says Cassiopeia. “He won’t let us off the hook when we’re in a bad mood.”

      “We could make breakfast together,” says Letitia hopefully. “It would be fun.”

      Meanwhile, Annie has gone and got her bow and arrows from the front closet. She stomps past us toward the kitchen door. “Good idea,” she says. “I’ll go kill us a cat.”

      “Don’t you dare!” says Mum.

      “Okay, a squirrel,” says Annie, and slams the back door behind her. It’s ten o’clock on a Sunday morning and there have already been two slammed doors. This is getting interesting.

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Other Popular Editions of the Same Title

9780374362591: Rex Zero, King of Nothing

Featured Edition

ISBN 10:  0374362599 ISBN 13:  9780374362591
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux (BYR), 2008
Hardcover

9780888997999: Rex Zero King Of Nothing

Ground..., 2007
Softcover

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Book Description Square Fish, 2013. Paperback. Condition: New. Reprint. Language: English . Brand New Book. In sixth grade now, the wildly imaginative Rex Zero and his friends hatch a plan to replace Miss Garr, the substitute teacher from hell, and Rex takes on the persona of none other than Dr. Love. Of course, events spin hilariously out of control. Miss Garr s cruel behavior is a mystery to Rex. But then, Rex s world is full of mysteries! There s the beautiful woman in white. Why does she have a black eye? There s the little black book filled with names. Who could it belong to? And why has Rex s father hidden a letter that begins: Mein Liebchen ? Could all these things have something to do with the mystery of love? Underneath all of this is the age-old question of how to stand up and be a man. For if, as Rex s dad says, a man s got to do what a man s got to do, how does Rex know what to do and when to do it? Delightfully eccentric characters, humorous scenes of well-intended plans gone awry, a finely crafted plot interwoven with serious themes about love and war--this new Rex Zero from Tim Wynne-Jones is a gem!. Seller Inventory # FLT9780312674786

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Book Description Square Fish, 2013. Paperback. Condition: New. Reprint. Language: English . This book usually ship within 10-15 business days and we will endeavor to dispatch orders quicker than this where possible. Brand New Book. In sixth grade now, the wildly imaginative Rex Zero and his friends hatch a plan to replace Miss Garr, the substitute teacher from hell, and Rex takes on the persona of none other than Dr. Love. Of course, events spin hilariously out of control. Miss Garr s cruel behavior is a mystery to Rex. But then, Rex s world is full of mysteries! There s the beautiful woman in white. Why does she have a black eye? There s the little black book filled with names. Who could it belong to? And why has Rex s father hidden a letter that begins: Mein Liebchen ? Could all these things have something to do with the mystery of love? Underneath all of this is the age-old question of how to stand up and be a man. For if, as Rex s dad says, a man s got to do what a man s got to do, how does Rex know what to do and when to do it? Delightfully eccentric characters, humorous scenes of well-intended plans gone awry, a finely crafted plot interwoven with serious themes about love and war--this new Rex Zero from Tim Wynne-Jones is a gem!. Seller Inventory # BTE9780312674786

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Book Description Square Fish, 2013. Paperback. Condition: New. Reprint. Language: English . Brand New Book. In sixth grade now, the wildly imaginative Rex Zero and his friends hatch a plan to replace Miss Garr, the substitute teacher from hell, and Rex takes on the persona of none other than Dr. Love. Of course, events spin hilariously out of control. Miss Garr s cruel behavior is a mystery to Rex. But then, Rex s world is full of mysteries! There s the beautiful woman in white. Why does she have a black eye? There s the little black book filled with names. Who could it belong to? And why has Rex s father hidden a letter that begins: Mein Liebchen ? Could all these things have something to do with the mystery of love? Underneath all of this is the age-old question of how to stand up and be a man. For if, as Rex s dad says, a man s got to do what a man s got to do, how does Rex know what to do and when to do it? Delightfully eccentric characters, humorous scenes of well-intended plans gone awry, a finely crafted plot interwoven with serious themes about love and war--this new Rex Zero from Tim Wynne-Jones is a gem!. Seller Inventory # FLT9780312674786

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