When a Brother or Sister Dies: Looking Back, Moving Forward

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9780313355288: When a Brother or Sister Dies: Looking Back, Moving Forward

The trauma of losing a sibling when we are in our adult years is one of the most unrecognized and undertreated areas of psychology. There is no other loss in adult life that appears to be so neglected as the death of a brother or sister, says bereavement specialist and psychologist, Therese Rando. And Rando is just one expert author Berman interviews in this moving book about loss. We see here how, when an adult dies, the parents, spouse, and children of that person become the focus, but brothers and sisters most often fall to the sidelines and are left to find a way to deal with the grief and recover alone. Yet, when a brother or sister dies, we lose our longest lifetime companion, someone with whom we have shared an intimate family history. And, in most cases, that was someone for whom we had conflicted feelings: shared identity yet competitive feelings, pride yet jealousy, love yet hate. Most of us come to make peace with the relationship at some point. How to make peace with the death of the sibling - which can conjure up a well of feelings, from wishing you were closer to wanting to change some past events you shared - can haunt an adult. But author Claire Berman, who lost her own sister to heart disease in the week of September 11, 2001, when America lost its innocence, takes us into the emotional world of sibling loss, showing us how to understand and navigate the aftermath of a loss that can leave adults feeling angry, confused, guilty, empty, or just like Berman, wanting to hit that speed dial button still marked with her sister's name.

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Book Description:

This volume explores the unique connections we have with brothers and sisters, and describes the trauma of losing a sibling as an adult, as well as the means people have used to heal the pain of that loss, to keep the cherished memories yet still move forward.

From the Author:

This is a book that I needed to write for my own catharsis, following the death of my much-loved sister, Sybil. I had to write it because I found that  the impact of sibling loss goes largely unrecognized by friends and acquaintances.The same people who would come with casseroles and comfort following the death of others of our kin are less likely to provide support when it's "only" a sister or brother who dies. But my sister was my role model, number-one fan, co-custodian of the family's history, and my best friend. The void she left will never be filled. I needed help in figuring out how to move forward without forgetting.

I also wrote this book for everyone else who has experienced the loss of a sister or brother (whether friend or foe). Since its publication, I have heard from many readers who say that it has given them insights, solace, and direction. Sybil would have been pleased.

 

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Berman, Claire
ISBN 10: 0313355282 ISBN 13: 9780313355288
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