Bringing up Kids Without Tearing Them Down - Hardcover

Dr. Kevin Leman

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 0385299451 ISBN 13: 9780385299459

Publisher: Delacorte Press, 1993

Synopsis

A guide to imparting self-esteem in developing children explores why self-image is so important, how to build self-esteem by encouragement, the four key causes of misbehavior, and how to discipline. 40,000 first printing. $40,000 ad/promo.

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Reviews

It's possible to raise happy, self-confident children while also letting them know you're the boss, stresses Leman ( Keeping Your Family Together When the World Is Falling Apart ) in this parenting guide. He explains why self-image is so vital to children, as well as how to provide them with "image insurance" that will last a lifetime, starting with the "A-B-C's" of self-worth (acceptance, belonging, confidence). Leman argues that parents can help kids learn responsibility and build self-esteem through encouragement rather than praise, action rather than words, and natural consequences rather than punishment ("If you miss dinner again, you won't get any when you get home"). He also discusses four causes of misbehavior--the need to gain attention, assert control, avoid pressure and seek revenge--and shows how these can be contained. While Leman does not generally condone corporal punishment, he does advocate spanking (one or two swats on the backside) as a last resort. Anecdotes from his own experience as a father illustrate his points and warm the book. The last portion is an extensive question-and-answer section about toddlers, chidlren over five and adolescents. Author tour.
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc.

The author of Growing Up Firstborn (1989) and other easy- listening psychology books presents yet another parenting guide aimed at the Ann Landers set. Introducing the idea of ``self-image insurance'' (techniques assuring the development of self-esteem), Leman focuses on the ABCs of self-worth--acceptance and affirmation, belonging, and competence--and again emphasizes Reality Discipline, that combination of love and limit-setting familiar from his earlier work and from the writing of Rudolf Dreikurs (Children, 1964, etc.). A host of CBN's Parent Talk Radio, Leman recognizes problems generated by the parenting extremes of authoritarianism and permissiveness and by the more common conflicts (over homework, housework, allowance) in families, but he never loses sight of the essential task of parenting: encouraging a positive self-image. Don't take behavior personally, he counsels; even bad behavior has a purpose. Love unconditionally, allow flexibility and room for failure, and remember that the tail doesn't wag the dog. Much of this has been said as well before, by Leman and others, and there's little to distinguish this book from half a dozen others. But it's full of warm, memorable phrases, useful tips for different age groups, and everyday examples to reassure parents that most problems can be resolved by following a few basic principles. -- Copyright ©1993, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.

Leman, author of Keeping Your Family Together When the World Is Falling Apart ( LJ 2/15/92), here offers practical advice on raising children to be an integral part of the family while keeping their self-esteem intact and healthy. He advocates the use of reality discipline, where the consequences of actions become the teaching tool. Along with love, security, and family values, reality discipline builds a child's self-image and provides a good start toward becoming a responsible, happy adult, Leman claims. Good writing and numerous anecdotes keep his text lively. Each chapter ends with a "Words To Remember" and "Actions To Try" section for easy reference. The final section is written in a question-and-answer format, grouped according to the child's age. This book is recommended as a useful addition to most parenting collections.
- Lisa J. Cochenet, Rhinelander Dist. Lib., Wis.
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Edition details

• Publisher: Delacorte Press
• Publication date: 1993
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 0385299451
• ISBN 13: 9780385299459
• Binding: Hardcover
• Number of pages: 369