How to Marry a Black Man

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9780385482462: How to Marry a Black Man

Ten of Monique and Cassandra's twenty-five tips...

1.      Get your act togetha, so when you finally do meet Mr. Right, he can't resist you.
2.      Smile and say "hello" to every Black man you see.
3.      Forgive old lovers and make peace with them.
4.      Tell everyone you know that you're looking for a husband.
5.      Go on as may blind dates as possible.
6.      Date men who are not your "type"--you may be pleasantly surprised.
7.      If you ask a man a series of questions within the first five minutes of meeting him, he'll tell you almost anything you         want to know.  After that he clams up and won't tell you a thing.
8.      If you realize right away he is someone you don't like but does have an interesting job or hobby, he may have a friend who's perfect for you.
9.      If he's available and you like him, don't hesitate to let him know.
10.     Dress conservatively.  If you attract him with your body, how are you going to keep him with your mind?

About six years ago, on the eve of her thirtieth birthday, Monique Jellerette was desperate to get married, but couldn't seem to find the right man.  A married friend, Cassandra, offered some solid (albeit unsolicited) advice. Monique, determined to do it her own way, suffered through a few more dates from Hell before she realized Cassandra's tips might make sense.  So she started putting Cassandra's suggestions to work, made up a few tricks of her own, and devised a plan of action...Six months later Monique met and married Bob and became Mrs. Monique Jellerette deJongh!  Now, in How to Marry a Black Man, Mrs. Monique Jellerette deJongh and Mrs. Cassandra Marshall Cato-Louis share their secrets with women everywhere.

Based on Monique and Cassandra's proven techniques, and coupled with the results of all-male focus groups on what Black men are really looking for in a prospective mate, How to Marry a Black Man is part manual/journal and part workbook, and delivers the goods on how to master the dating game and find a husband.

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From the Publisher:

"Black men, get this--the sisters have done it! They got the formula for turning the brothers into husbands. Buy it, read it, and learn how to protect yourself, or don't--just go buy the ring." --Melvin Van Peebles

Excerpt. Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.:

WE DARE YOU...

...to face the biggest obstacle that is keeping you from getting married to a Black man:  you!  Go stand in front of the mirror.   Look deeply into your own eyes and answer these questions silently to yourself:

Do I want to get married?

Am I ready to get married?

Although I'm powerful, do I believe that I will find a Black man that can deal with me?

Do I believe that there are Black men out there who aren't in jail, taken, or gay?

Do I really believe that there is someone out there for me?

Am I ready to change the way I've been going about flirting with Black men?

Am I ready to get serious about taking someone else's life into my hands?

Can I love someone else as much as I love myself?

Am I ready to have sex with only one person for the rest of my life?                      

Have I healed all of my past heartaches to allow my husband in?

If you answered "yes" to most of these questions, then get prepared to walk down that aisle!   We've found that wanting to be married is the first step on the way to wedded bliss.  And we do not mean some fantasy of marriage, but a sincere willingness to embrace the entire commitment.  Marriage takes a great deal of patience, commitment, compromise, sharing, growth, sacrifice, passion, understanding, giving, taking, tolerance, humor, and not least of all, love. If you don't really want to get married, please don't try and "wing it" just for the hell of it.  It won't fly.  At least, not forever!  If you've thought long and hard about taking on this difficult task, and still think you want to try your hand at being a wife, then you need to determine your readiness. Wanting to be married and being ready must go hand in hand.  We'll help you determine your actual readiness in Phase I.  But only you can truthfully determine if you wholeheartedly want to get married.

Let's address one of the biggest problems that seems to be stopping you gals before you even get started:  The notion that since you are such a fierce, powerful force to be reckoned with, there's no one there for you.  There's a popular belief that since you're putting so much energy into successfully slammin' this "man's world," you can't attract a Black man that can handle you. Bull!  Stop turning all of your assets into stumbling blocks.  Get this notion out of your head.  There are powerful Black men out there looking for you.  We are here to tell you that part of this problem is in your head and the other part is in the media's (not so subliminal) messages about our men.  You've been brainwashed into believing that there are only a small number of Black men doing great things.  Well, maybe according to the TV, but according to our latest survey, there are lots of successful Black men (maybe even a million) out there who are lonely and looking for someone to marry.

In other words, don't be so picky.  If you are looking for "Prince Charming," get real.  Are you really "Princess Diva"?  Remember that a marriage takes two people.  If you've been gettin' a lot of things your way, this is not how a happy y union materializes.  Don't get caught in the trap of thinking that you're supposed to find someone to put you on a pedestal.  A little modesty goes a long way.  We're not saying you lower your standards for who is right for you, just be realistic.

You need to realize how much of what you want is actually what you need. Understanding this distinction is the way to dissolve the myth that you're so powerful that you won't find Mr. Right.  He' out there.  Trust us, we know how to find him, hook him and trap him.  And while you're at it, trust yourself! Because guess what?  You know how to find him too.  You just don't know it yet. We have created a program that requires you to come to terms with vital information about your life.  You are the only one who knows what you've been doing wrong.  It's time to face facts and stop avoiding the inevitable.  Own up to your own misgivings about your own attractiveness and wifely capabilities. Stop doubting yourself.  You are a warm, loving person who deserves to find an equally warm, loving person to call  your very own.  It's not as hard as it seems.  We'll help you figure out where your strengths lie as well as what mistakes you might be repeating.  A positive attitude about your own successfulness is a tremendous asset in achieving any goal.  From now on the glass is always half full, OK?

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Dejongh, Monique Jellerette
Published by Doubleday (1996)
ISBN 10: 0385482469 ISBN 13: 9780385482462
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Murray Media
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Book Description Doubleday, 1996. Hardcover. Book Condition: New. Never used!. Bookseller Inventory # P110385482469

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