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★ "Meehl's contribution to the growing subgenre of YA vampire novels is very, very funny...witty one-liners pile up while Meehl exploits every known vampire cliche to great comic effect...A refreshing take on the vampire romance, with a misfit vampire protagonist readers are certain to love."--Publishers Weekly, Starred
Are you up to your neck in bloodsucking vampire stories?Tired of those tales about dentally enhanced dark lords?
Before I wrote this book I thought all vampires were night-stalking, fangpopping, bloodsucking fiends. Then I met Morning McCobb. He's a vegan vampire who drinks a soy-blood substitute called Blood Lite. He believes staking should be a hate crime. And someday he hopes to march in a Vampire Pride Parade. He was also the first vampire to out himself and try to show people of mortality, like you and me, that vampires are just another minority with special needs. Trust me--this is like no other vampire book you'll ever feed on.
So, as my buddy Morning says, "Pop the lid, and suck it up."
"Appealing characters and an original vampire world. Delightful for those who like their romance vaguely paranormal, their adventure romantic and their vampires defanged."--Kirkus Reviews "A flawed and affable protagonist . . . snarky humor, outsider-looking-in perspective, and fresh new takes on the familiar."--School Library Journal
"synopsis" may belong to another edition of this title.
The origin of Suck It Up? Teeth-grinding frustration.
When I was writing kids' TV for PBS back in the day, I was often censored by producers. I couldn't put angels on a wedding cake because it was too Christian and might offend non-Christians. I couldn't write about birthday parties because Jehovah's Witnesses don't believe in celebrating birthdays because it's a celebration of self.
At some point, I became brainwashed by all this political correctness and had a eureka moment. The one minority that no one seemed to care about was our bloodsucking brothers and sisters: vampires. I mean, they have special needs too, right? They're subjected to unfair stereotyping. They even suffer from a terrible hate-crime: staking.
So I was determined to write a story that would let everyone know that vampires are like everyone else. They just have a slight drinking problem--correction--they are "diet-challenged."
Portia Leaned and kissed him gently on the lips.
The tension in his gums turned to an ache.
She pulled back. Her forehead wrinkled. "On a scale of one to ten?"
He murmured through a clenched jaw. "This is dangerous."
Her eyes twinkled with mischief. "I'll take that as a ten."She pushed in for another kiss, a more pressing one.
The ache in his gums pulsed to a throb. He groaned in discomfort and delight.
She pulled away, wrapped him in a hug and let out a deep sigh.
Freed from her lips, but not the pounding sensation, his mouth pushed open. Instead of two fangs all his teeth were swelling. A new fear seized him. It was the worst form of dentis eruptus. The twenty-fold fangs of maximus dentis eruptus.
As Portia pulled back for another kiss, he broke away and stumbled for the door. He slapped a hand over his mouth, ballooning like a bag of microwave popcorn.
She was mystified. On the one-ten scale they'd been pushing eleven. "What's wrong?"
He tried to answer, but his ivory-choked mouth only managed, "Mmrrf-mmmrf!" He yanked open the door and fled.
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