Too Nice for Your Own Good - Softcover

Robinson, Duke

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0446673862 ISBN 13: 9780446673860

Publisher: Grand Central Publishing, 2000

Synopsis

You are a nice person.  And you think that's a good thing.  But so many of the nice things you do cause you burnout, bottle you up and leave you feeling unsatisfied.

In this book the author nails 9 counterproductive mistakes nice people make every day.  Look inside at the book's Contents page that lists them, and see if they don't make you feel like you're looking in a mirror!

This book will show you how to correct these mistakes and behave in ways that will help you avoid stress, frustration and embarrassment. You quite quickly will learn how to:

-- Let go of your need to be perfect and please everyone all the time.
-- Say "no" to requests for your skills, energy and time, and feel great doing so.
-- Tell others what you want from them, and receive it, without appearing selfish.
-- Express anger without blowing up and harming your valued relationships
-- Disarm those who wrongly or irrationally criticize or attack you.
-- Be both honest with, and gracious toward, those who fail or disappoint you.
-- Cease giving advice to others and feel good simply giving them information.
-- Be genuinely helpful to addicted loved ones, rather than trying to rescue them.
-- Stop attempting to protect those in grief and begin supporting them.

This remarkable book will help you to make these changes and liberate you for a richer more enjoyable life ... and you still will be a nice person!

About this title

From the Author

After 30 years of reflection and teaching, I took two years to pull my notes and thoughts together about these nine self-destructive mistakes. I came to see that my parents and culture, with the best of intentions, had programmed me to engage in these everyday counterproductive behaviors. I unconsciously had bought into them because I was terrified of not being seen as a nice person and accepted by family and friends. The process of seeing them, then discovering how to avoid them--while still remaining a nice person--helped turn me toward the sense of wholeness and liberation I knew I needed.

It's satisfying, of course, to have had Time Warner's Warner Books (Now Grand Central Publishing) buy this, my first book, in an auction involving major publishing houses, publish it in 14 languages, promote it boldly through People Magazine, and then have Amazon make it one of the earliest Kindle books. Now, 24 years later I am gratified to know the book still sells briskly and many readers worldwide have found it so helpful.
I wrote my other nonfiction books to help readers find relief from two other common fears.  In Create Your Best life, I describe how to live fully even as you know that one day you are going to die.  In A Middle Way, I explain one way to resolve the tension between science and religion so you don't have to be afraid of not having integrity, of not being true to yourself, and to your God, if indeed you have one.

From the Inside Flap

HIGH PRAISE
                                                 for
                        TOO NICEFOR YOUR OWN GOOD:
                Howto Stop Making 9 Self-Sabotaging Mistakes

"Highly readable, insightful, and compassionate...Duke Robinson extracts powerful, eminently practical lessons for everyday living from sound psychological principles."
      Martin V. Covington, professor of psychology. University of California at Berkeley

"Do-gooders: Here's why you burnout...In this book, Robinson shows how too much of a good thing can lead to emotional and physical exhaustion."
     New Orleans Times-Picayune

"The wit and wisdom of Duke Robinson is about to become national knowledge. And he does more than simply analyze the mistakes we all make as nice persons. Attention to this very readable and practical book can make a good difference in the way we live."
      Paul H. Gertmenian, CEO, Henry Gertmenian Co.

"The mistakes described in this book are like the common cold...Duke Robinson has done a masterful job defeating these emotional viruses...Reading this book and taking it seriously could save hundreds of hours in therapy, and it's a lot more fun."
     Dr. Robert R. Ball,executive director, the State of California's Self-Esteem Task Force, and author of Walking on Water

"Robinson's nine chapters turn the qualities of niceness inside out: 'trying to be perfect,' 'taking on too much,' 'not saying what you want,' ' suppressing anger,''reasoning with irrationality,' 'telling little lies,' 'giving advice,' 'rescuing others,' and 'protecting those in grief. Sound familiar? He says he can help you get over it without becoming an ogre."
      The Dallas Morning Newspapers

"I wish this book had come along earlier in my career...These practical steps toward authenticity help us put our lives in order and feel good about it."
      Darrell Floyd, retired human resources manager, Nissan Motor Corporation,

"An unsentimental blueprint for complete living as well as aprovocation to the highest humanity in all of us."
      Leroy Aarons, founder and board member,
      National Gay & Lesbian Journalists Association, author of Prayers for Bobby

"A superb book...transforming...In clear and simple language, Dr.Robinson shows how being 'nice' often means living by a tyranny of expectations."
      Stanley F. Hogle,
      Former executive director, Houston's Interface-Samaritan Counseling Centers

"Duke Robinson's book on 'mistakes made by nice people' is a big hit. He shows so clearly how niceness keeps us from growing and dealing honestly with one another."
      Presbyterian Outlook

About this edition

• Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
• Publication date: 2000
• ISBN 10: 0446673862
• ISBN 13: 9780446673860
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 288