Satan, Satan...How Does Your Garden Grow?

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9780595096206: Satan, Satan...How Does Your Garden Grow?
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: Lucifer Satan, an ambitious young 18-billion-year-old demon from another galaxy weasels a job with Galactic Outreach Development (GOD), a government agency responsible for "The Supplementary Development of Undeveloped Planets," a process that supplies foodstuff for the inhabitants of Satan's home world. As the Field Representative for planet Sol 3, Satan mutates lizards into dinosaurs and launches "The boldly go to the Dinosaur Show" promotion(with the help of show biz types and the hindrance of government baddies)for extraterrestrial hunters. The program skyrockets Satan to intergalactic preeminence. But alas, having reamed an undersea volcano giving rise to Atlantis Island and a sin-city called "The STYX" (Sex, Torture, Youth, eXtraterrestrials) that is overrun by a newly-created aberrant race known as Homo sapiens, Satan is tried for mutational malpractice and sentenced to life exile on planet Sol 3.

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About the Author:

Born and raised in Toronto, Canada. Career years spent mainly in creative advertising sales promotion. Forays into show business, teaching music, and an internationally syndicated comic strip. Now retired from advertising, living in rural Ontario, enjoying writing, painting, playing my electronic keyboard and an occasional game of snooker.

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His tail-tip twitching and his talons making fists in his jodhpurs pockets, Lucifer Satan stomped from the street to the lobby and onto the escaramp in the Young Demons' Dormitory.
This was the place he called home, one of innumerable subsidized hostels available to demons who resided in the city of Mephistropolis on the planet Hades in the Great Sprial Nebula in Andromeda, and who were temporarily down on their luck. Satan, however, had known hard times for more than a half-dozen billion years--cashiered from a cadet corps for insubordination then disinherited by his dad, he had lived at the YDD since imphood.
Stepping off the escaramp he elbowed his way past a callwitch propositioning a pimply demon, trod a hallway and confronted his door. It acknowledged him: "Your cubicle is at your service," and slid aside to admit him. His autovalet came to take his cloak. "You are back early," it said, extending a nozzle that snuffled his hoofs for volcanic dust tracked in from the street. "I trust your morning epoch was pleasant?"
"Up your stainless steel hose," Satan grated, crossing the cubicle in three strides and flopping on his comfycot. It embraced him; crooned in his ear, "Lul-la-by, and good night, may your slum-bers be bri-ight..."
He punched it; it sighed and resigned itself to silence.
He unfolded a Daily Demon news sheet that he had wrested from a geezer's grasp on the way home from work. Damn, damn, damn...here hs was, eighteen billion years old, and what had he accomplished? Nothing! Everything in this frigging galaxy was so taken care of, so bone-picked clean, there was no way an ambitious demon could get ahead. An hour ago down at the Galactic Garbage Exchange he'd told them to take their picky-ass job and toss it in the Incinerator Pit. Son-of-a witch...what he wouldn't give to find something deserving of his talents!
He riffled the news sheet's Classified Ads section. A neon-red blur caught his eye. He opened the section wide. Fluorescing, a double-sheet ad screamed its message at him:

ARE YOU A RED-ICHORED DEMON

WHO YEARNS TO LEAVE THE HUMDRUM BEHIND?

WHO YEARNS FOR OUT-OF-THIS-WORLD ADVENTURE?

WHO YEARNS TO LEARN THE TRUE MEANING OF LIFE?

We train you in the science of
Supplementary Development for Undeveloped Planets

YOU REAP THE BENEFITS!

* TRAVEL TO A NEIGHBORING GALAXY

* CONQUER A VIRGIN PLANET

* LIVE IN BARBARIC SPLENDOR

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Book Description Writers Club Press. Paperback. Condition: New. 420 pages. Dimensions: 9.1in. x 6.1in. x 1.1in.: Lucifer Satan, an ambitious young 18-billion-year-old demon from another galaxy weasels a job with Galactic Outreach Development (GOD), a government agency responsible for The Supplementary Development of Undeveloped Planets, a process that supplies foodstuff for the inhabitants of Satans home world. As the Field Representative for planet Sol 3, Satan mutates lizards into dinosaurs and launches The boldly go to the Dinosaur Show promotion(with the help of show biz types and the hindrance of government baddies)for extraterrestrial hunters. The program skyrockets Satan to intergalactic preeminence. But alas, having reamed an undersea volcano giving rise to Atlantis Island and a sin-city called The STYX (Sex, Torture, Youth, eXtraterrestrials) that is overrun by a newly-created aberrant race known as Homo sapiens, Satan is tried for mutational malpractice and sentenced to life exile on planet Sol 3. This item ships from multiple locations. Your book may arrive from Roseburg,OR, La Vergne,TN. Paperback. Seller Inventory # 9780595096206

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