Jessica: The autobiography of an infant

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9780595364299: Jessica: The autobiography of an infant
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Jessica had always feared that the unthinkable had happened when she had been "made up." She had no sense of herself as a needing, wanting person. Every day she expected to be dragged into court and found guilty of impersonating a real human being. In her therapy, she remembered in vivid detail many experiences from the earliest days of her life. In the process, she discovered that the difficulties she experienced in being born and the inattentive, hurried behavior of her mother in the ensuing weeks made her feel that the needing, wanting part of her was "dangerous" and that she "had to stay away from it." All of Jessica's remembrances were audio-taped and edited for inclusion in the book.
Jessica had always been terrified that the unthinkable had happened when  she was "made up." In her mind, there was no other explanation for what she experienced when she said "I need" or "I want." The second these words flew from her mouth she felt as if she were floating hundreds of miles above the earth and that her mind was about to dissolve into chaos. If someone had said to her, "I never hear you say 'I need' or 'I want,'" her crisp reply would have been, "I don't know what you're talking about." Those words would have been followed by an urgent "I have to go."    
Jessica lived in constant dread of someone discovering who - or what - she really was. She was certain that, if her secret ever leaked out, strangers would suddenly encircle her and, with arms raised and fingers pointed directly at her, shout "Imposter! Imposter! Here's the imposter!" The next day's headlines would then surely read: SCIENTISTS GATHER TO EXAMINE ALIEN IMPOSTER.
Jessica future - if not her sanity - depended on her preventing that from happening. She decided that the best way to do that was to act as if she really was a needing, wanting person. Accordingly, she did whatever she sensed was expected of her, and in a way that would avoid upsetting anyone and keep her as inconspicuous as possible.
Until Jessica entered therapy as an adult, she had no way of knowing how she had become such a mystery to herself. When she was well into her therapy, she started to remember many experiences from the first weeks of her infancy that would provide the answer. During that time in her life, when every minute of it should have been filled with exciting discoveries about herself and her world, she rarely saw a smiling face, or experienced a soft caress, or heard a tender voice, or felt her body being handled in a gentle way.
A few of her many remembrances included her sense in being born of wanting to add one more "good thing" to that "big, working thing" she sensed was out there. Unfortunately, her reception by the medical team made her feel that all she had done was to cause problems for them "because I wasn't doing it right." Another remembrance was how the anesthesia given to her mother made her feel that she had suddenly lost control over her body. Yet another memory was how her mother's overall hurried and inattentive behavior in the following weeks made her to feel that she was a disappointment.      
For Jessica's therapist, hearing these recollections was like listening to an infant who could talk describe every psychologically dramatic moment of its life as it was happening. All of those recollections were audio-taped and included in this book in edited form for ease of reading.

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About the Author:

Jeffrey Von Glahn, Ph.D., has been a psychotherapist for 45 years, and counting. That experience has been, and continues to be, more exciting and fulfilling than he had ever imagined. Whether it's the first session with a new client or the hundredth one with the same client, this intimate way of engaging with another person continues to have the same mesmeric appeal for him it has always had. On occasion, he has been known to suddenly exclaim, "If I believed in reincarnation - which I don't - but if I did my fondest wish would be to come back as a therapist."

What has been especially rewarding for Jeffrey - as he prefers to be called - is when he's been able to help someone reconnect with a "lost" part of their basic humanness. That's when he feels he's helped to give birth to a new human being. He doesn't mean that literally, of course, but there's no other way of explaining how he feels when he's sitting face-to-face with someone and he sees such a dramatic change.

And even after all these years, each client presents another opportunity for him to learn more about psychotherapy, and to learn more about how to help someone regain contact with a part of his or her basic humanness that fortuitous events from earlier in life had secreted away for safe-keeping. What makes it all an especially significant experience for Jeffrey is that he gets to use all of his intellectual skills and all of his basic caring instincts at the same time.

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Book Description iUniverse, United States, 2006. Paperback. Condition: New. Language: English. Brand new Book. Jessica had always been haunted by the fear that the unthinkable had happened when she had been 'made-up." She had no sense of Self. Just "thinking" of saying 'I need" or 'I want" left her feeling like an empty shell and that her mind was about to spin out of control. Terrified of who-or "what"-she was, she lived in constant dread over being found guilty of impersonating a human being. Jeffrey Von Glahn, Ph.D., an experienced therapist with an unshakable belief in the intrinsic healing powers of the human psyche, and Jessica, his courageous client, blaze a trail into this unexplored territory. As if she has, in fact, become an infant again, Jessica remembers in extraordinary detail events from the earliest days of her life-events that had threatened to twist her embryonic humanness from its natural course of development. Her recollections as an adult are the equivalent of listening to an infant "who could talk" describe every psychologically dramatic moment of its life as it is happening. Jessica's electrifying journey into her mystifying past brings her ever closer to a final confrontation with the traumatic events that had threatened to strip her of her basic humanness. Seller Inventory # AAV9780595364299

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Book Description iUniverse, United States, 2006. Paperback. Condition: New. Language: English. Brand new Book. Jessica had always been haunted by the fear that the unthinkable had happened when she had been 'made-up." She had no sense of Self. Just "thinking" of saying 'I need" or 'I want" left her feeling like an empty shell and that her mind was about to spin out of control. Terrified of who-or "what"-she was, she lived in constant dread over being found guilty of impersonating a human being. Jeffrey Von Glahn, Ph.D., an experienced therapist with an unshakable belief in the intrinsic healing powers of the human psyche, and Jessica, his courageous client, blaze a trail into this unexplored territory. As if she has, in fact, become an infant again, Jessica remembers in extraordinary detail events from the earliest days of her life-events that had threatened to twist her embryonic humanness from its natural course of development. Her recollections as an adult are the equivalent of listening to an infant "who could talk" describe every psychologically dramatic moment of its life as it is happening. Jessica's electrifying journey into her mystifying past brings her ever closer to a final confrontation with the traumatic events that had threatened to strip her of her basic humanness. Seller Inventory # AAV9780595364299

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Book Description iUniverse, Inc. Paperback. Condition: New. 260 pages. Dimensions: 9.0in. x 5.8in. x 0.7in.A few minutes before, Jessica had said, I now know all that I feel and why. Now, in a decidedly different tone of voice, she said, But I still dont know me or even if a me really exists. . . . Im trying to find her, and I cant! She dug her fingertips into my back. I cant find my me. Shes been lost! Are you sure shes there Sure. My reassurance had no effect. The secret terror that had haunted her before she had had words for it, came gushing out. Im not even sure she exists anymore, or if she didnt just die, or if she didnt just leave somewhere. Will you help me find her I cant. I cant find her anywhere. Shes gone! Ow! No! No! My me never had a chance. As soon as I got my hands on it, somebody ripped it away from me! This item ships from multiple locations. Your book may arrive from Roseburg,OR, La Vergne,TN. Paperback. Seller Inventory # 9780595364299

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