Thank You for Being Such a Pain: Spiritual Guidance for Dealing with Difficult People

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9780609600993: Thank You for Being Such a Pain: Spiritual Guidance for Dealing with Difficult People
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Thank You for Being Such a Pain is a pioneering spiritual self-help book for dealing with difficult co-workers, neighbors, and family members. Its insights, anecdotes, and guidelines will help you to overcome the distractions and energy drain, the minor annoyances and major distress that difficult people can cause. Based on the author's popular workshops, the book includes many instructive, practical, and spiritual exercises for doing inner work, enabling you to transform your difficult encounters and relationships into surprising and powerful sources of spiritual growth.
        
Mark Rosen shows readers how to go beyond just trying to cope with difficult people. His evocative and penetrating perspectives lead you to the deeper meanings that underlie your encounters, based on four basic premises: (1) life's seemingly random encounters are not so random; (2) pain and suffering are just as important for personal growth as love and joy; (3) learning how to transform enmity is one of life's most important lessons; and (4) healing relationship problems requires one to pay attention to the ongoing spiritual lessons that life presents.
        
From explaining why people are difficult and how your own personality causes you to view others that way, Rosen gently leads you to a deeper understanding of the spiritual forces at work in your life. Each chapter contains a section called "Explorations," composed of engaging exercises to strengthen inner knowing and change the nature of the troublesome relationship. For example, Rosen shows how bestowing a silent blessing on the difficult person can benefit you both, and he gives
illustrative scenarios with nasty co-workers and intrusive in-laws that show the principles of the book in action. Drawing on spiritual practices, psychological principles, and entertaining stories for this innovative practical approach and its enlightening exercises, Thank You for Being Such a Pain will change forever the way you see the difficult people in your life.

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From the Author:

I've written this book to help anyone who is struggling with a difficult person but doesn't want to respond by being nasty or vindictive. The book combines state-of-the-art principles of interpersonal communication and conflict resolution with spiritual teachings, flavored by the many things I've learned from my own relationship difficulties. I've tried to make the book readable and practical so that the reader can open it to any page and learn something useful. There are about 75 entertaining stories involving difficult people to illustrate the book's principles, and lots of humor to help lighten what can be a very trying experience. Each chapter ends with a section called Explorations, containing exercises that help readers to apply the book's principles to their own circumstances. There are also quotations from a variety of sources, ranging from Groucho Marx to the Dalai Lama to Emily Dickinson, that introduce each section. One of my favorites, and the book's core philosophy, comes from theologian Martin Buber, who wrote: "A person should realize that conflict situations between oneself and others are nothing but the effects of conflict situations in one's own soul." My sincere hope is that this book will help readers to resolve their difficulties and find healing.

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Praise for Thank You For Being Such a Pain

"A wise book, full of insights and surprises that will help managers become better managers--and better people."        
--Michael Hammer, Ph.D., President of Hammer and Company and coauthor of Reengineering the Corporation

"A remarkable book which elegantly describes why difficult people are our best teachers, why they are 'sent to us,' and how they prompt us toward psychological and spiritual health."        
--Dennis Gersten, M.D., psychiatrist and author of Are You Getting Enlightened or Losing Your Mind?

"Rosen shares some wonderful tales of human misdeed, but he is wise enough to seek healing for them by striking deep roots in traditional teachings and counsels culled from every source imaginable."        
--Arthur Green, Ph.D., Philip W. Lown Professor of Jewish Thought, Brandeis University

"This extraordinary book shines with wisdom and illuminates a path to peace. The author's spiritual teachings and compelling stories masterfully show us how even the most difficult relationships can be healed."
--Joan Klagsbrun, Ph.D., Adjunct Professor, Andover Newton Theological School; psychotherapist and Director, The Wellspring Center, Watertown, Massachusetts

"If you have a spiritual bone in your body, this book will change your life. Rosen shows you how to perform a miracle--live so that difficult people stop weakening you and start making you stronger, better, and happier."        
--Charles Foster, Ph.D., psychotherapist and author of There's Something I Have to Tell You

"Mark Rosen has written a practical, powerful perspective on the mirror of relationship."        
--Harold H. Bloomfield, M.D., psychiatrist and author of How to Be Safe in an Unsafe World

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