Erasmus Twiddle knows that anyone can be a detective if they send four bottle caps, three proof-of-purchase seals from their favorite cereal, two AA batteries, and one rattlesnake skin to P.O. Box 12345. But being a not-detective is far more complex. Just ask Erasmus Twiddle. When things are not only missing but also, well, very out of sorts, it's time for Grmkville's famous and talented not-detective to spring into action. Whether it's investigating a rubber chicken factory, unpuzzling a puzzled baboon, or figuring out how a lonely rabbit-hippo can make a few friends, it's most assuredly the not-detective who solves the mystery. Or the not-mystery, for that matter.
So if you think your hojie or oogoo has been stolen, or a furious elf marches into town and kicks you in the shin, then this book is for you. And that's why our hero is Grmkville's famous and talented not-detective...and why all the un-famous and un-talented detectives live somewhere else.
"synopsis" may belong to another edition of this title.
Eric Laster was born in New York City. After working at a fast-food chicken restaurant, a pharmacy, the United Nations, a talent agency where Ed McMahon once hung up on him, and a few record companies, he turned to writing full time. If you jumble the letters of his name around you get the word Ercliserat, which isn't really a word at all. He now lives in Los Angeles. This is his first children's book.Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.:
Chapter One: How Erasmus Twiddle Became Erasmus Twiddle
Everybody knows that babies are special. You never hear a mother say, "Would you look at my baby? Ugh. This is not a very special baby. No, sir. This is the most un-special baby I've ever seen." You never hear a mother say this because mothers -- along with everybody else -- know that babies are special.
So it should come as no surprise that not all that long ago, in the not-very-large town of Grmkville, a baby boy was born who was special in all the ways that babies are special. Except that this baby proved special in a special way. One day his mother, Mrs. Twiddle, misplaced a finger puppet. She was searching for this finger puppet when the baby pointed at a moose. It was not really a moose, just a bunch of wire and canvas that had been painted to look like a moose. It was really a moose magazine rack.
"Goo!" said baby Erasmus.
"Not goo," said Mrs. Twiddle. "A moose magazine rack."
But baby Erasmus did not listen. He kept pointing at the moose magazine rack and saying "Goo!" And Mrs. Twiddle did not listen. She searched everywhere for her finger puppet -- everywhere except the moose magazine rack.
"Goo!" insisted baby Erasmus, wiggling a foot at the moose magazine rack.
"All right, all right," said Mrs. Twiddle.
And guess what Mrs. Twiddle found when she searched the moose magazine rack? No, not that. No, not that either. Fine, I'll tell you. She found her finger puppet (and a bit of sticky substance, or "goo"). Mrs. Twiddle thought this was just one of life's funny little coincidences -- Erasmus finding her finger puppet. But a week later she misplaced her banana bandana, a nifty piece of yellow clothing she liked very much. She searched everywhere for her banana bandana but could not find it. Erasmus waved his arms at a bowl of fruit that was not a bowl of fruit at all. It was just a bowl of plastic that looked like fruit and was supposed to be pretty.
"Gah!" said baby Erasmus.
"Not gah," said Mrs. Twiddle. "Plastic fruit. It's not really fruit at all but it's very pretty."
Then Mrs. Twiddle remembered the goo-finger puppet episode. She lifted up the bowl of fruit that was not fruit at all and -- lo and behold -- there was her banana bandana (but no "gah"). It became clear to Mrs. Twiddle that Erasmus had a knack for solving little mysteries. Actually, he had a knack for solving big and medium-sized mysteries, too. It did not matter if an item were lost or stolen; if it had mysteriously disappeared, Erasmus Twiddle would find it.
Well, Erasmus is no longer a baby. Over the years he has found many things for many people, and he has solved mysteries of every size and shape. I suppose I could tell you a great deal about our hero. For instance, I could tell you that he is not a detective, he is just curious and likes to solve mysteries. I could also tell you that he is famous in the town of Grmkville for solving mysteries.
"I do not like it when people ask me if I'm a detective," says Erasmus Twiddle. "Anyone can be a detective. All they have to do is send four bottle caps, three proof-of-purchase seals from their favorite cereal, two AA batteries, and one rattlesnake skin to P.O. Box 12345, and soon they will receive their detective license in the mail."
Erasmus is a nice boy who gets a bit grinchy sometimes. This is not unusual. Everybody gets grinchy sometimes. How old is Erasmus Twiddle? Perhaps he is not much older than you. Perhaps he is not older than you at all.
"I have read about the famous detective, Sherlock Holmes," says Erasmus Twiddle, "and I once considered calling myself Erasmus Holmes or Sherlock Twiddle. I thought I could borrow parts of his name so that people would know I'm not a detective but could still help them if they had...well, if they had an exploding donkey or something. In the end, though, I stuck with Erasmus Twiddle. I don't think my mother would have liked me to change my name."
You see how much there is to know about our hero. By the way, Erasmus is not a three-legged goat who can recite the Japanese alphabet backwards while balancing a cane on the tip of his nose and dancing the Charleston. You probably knew this already, but I thought I should tell it to you all the same. You should be thankful that Erasmus is not a goat with so many talents. I do not speak Japanese. If our hero were a goat and he started reciting the Japanese alphabet backwards, I would not understand a word he was saying. I am trying to tell you that I cannot possibly tell you everything there is to know about our hero. The best way to get to know Erasmus is to read this book. It is very entertaining, believe me. It is perhaps the best book ever written on a Monday. And when you have finished reading it, not only will you feel very smart, but you will be able to amaze your friends and their pets by telling them much more than just how Erasmus Twiddle became Erasmus Twiddle, Grmkville's famous and talented not-detective.
Text copyright © 2001 by Eric Laster
"About this title" may belong to another edition of this title.
Book Description Simon & Schuster Children's Pu, 2001. Hardcover. Book Condition: New. Never used!. Bookseller Inventory # P110689842457
Book Description Simon & Schuster Children's Publishing. Hardcover. Book Condition: New. 0689842457 New Condition. Bookseller Inventory # NEW7.1201612