Her Ratty Hair Her Wayward Brain

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9780692381656: Her Ratty Hair Her Wayward Brain
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A dozen meticulous stories from prize-winning author Alana Asby Roberts revel in the humbling and amusing absurdities of human life, in 305 pages. Religion, sexuality and idiosyncrasy are major themes.      Polly and the Love-Talker: Because of her limp none of the boys will walk out with Polly. She blurts that she will step out with any man in the Valley -- even the Love-Talker himself.     You Were My Wife of Fate: Joseph is an infant when his mother publishes a story about his future self. As he grows up, a rumor spreads that the story is actually a prophecy.     The Curse of the Spotted Fiend: Bernie and Oofie's marriage is known to be paradisiacal, probably because they had such a godly Courtship. So why won't Bernie take off her nightgown?     The Phantom of the Basement: Micky has a burden no fifteen-year-old girl should have to bear alone: she's secretly perfect. If only she could be Normal!      Eva The Avenger: It's Fine Arts Camp and the student body is divided into two factions. One preaches that non-artists are still decent people, with admirable characteristics of a coarser sort. The other argues for their total depravity. Eva thinks both factions are intolerably wrong and it's her calling to avenge the less gifted.     It Happened in a Generic Japanese Garden: The Hero's righteous facial expression makes The Heroine swoon, people who stick gum under tables squirm, and purloiners run mad. Only Min The Antagonist is immune.     The Alternative Affordable Counseling Agency: In this comedy of idiots, six penniless friends set up an unaccredited counseling agency in their basement and take on their neighbors' marital problems.     The Courtship of Some Courtship People: Sara and Tom have done everything their parents required of them, yet their relationship is being consumed by anxiety due to the strictness of their Betrothal Contract. It's time for these mild-mannered twenty-somethings to stage a long-delayed teenaged rebellion.     Getting Good At Bach: Every orchestra, it seems, is the same. There are too many violinists for anyone's comfort and the soloist is a stereotype on heels. The Second Violinist takes refuge in a little-known Bach Cantata transcribed for his instrument but he doesn't realize the music is making it difficult for his hearers to dissemble and deceive.     Penetration: Gail fears men but experiences loneliness.     Divine Commerce: A sojourn in the realm of Psyche.     Baby Vegetable: Mother thinks she's doing a decent job homeschooling her older children in the most classical manner until her youngest is born already talking

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From the Author:

Dear Reader,    Although my hat is full of stories about landscaper elves, mad poets, god wars, and alien mothers-in-law, this book - the first I've published, and the one I've been writing on and off since my early teens - is a lot homelier than that. True, Polly (in the first story of these twelve) meets someone who is certainly not human. But she also meets a chiropractor - a sort of person who has been a presence in my life since I was in the single digits. And then there are two stories about Courtship (think The Duggars) which may not be a huge issue for most of you, but when I was growing up everyone I knew was either for or against it. The characters are of different ages, which reflects the way my family lived - I spent hardly any time in rooms full of kids my own age. And the stories in which music is prominent - I was never good enough at my piano and singing to make music my life, but I was so moved by my first hearing of classical music that I might have, given a little more talent.    I think most of my characters and situations, though, got in because I wanted to have a good long laugh at them.   So that's what I want to talk to you about. I'm not sure laughter means the same thing to a lot of people that it means to me. Whenever I think about laughter I go to a moment when I was 11 years old and my mother and all my siblings and I sat around the kitchen table playing some silly game that obligingly made us all jump and scream at unpredictable intervals. Was it an alligator dentist game? Something got into my mind that day that I'm still thinking about - it was a couple decades ago, my siblings are grown, and my mom, every-present in my memory, is beyond reach of any pen or phone. I'm not quick; my processing speed is slow. When people say or do things, I find myself still learning from them five years later - or twenty.    We laughed so hard that night and I looked at my mother's face and saw she was unashamedly laughing at us - something you're not supposed to do, according to some - and there was no ridicule or contempt in the laughter. I felt her feeling, the way she felt about her children. It got in my chest and I looked back at my brother and sisters and I felt the same feeling. It was Delight.    Delight is taste - it is knowing the utterly unique flavor of someone or something. Joy, that purest of the feelings, bends to Enjoyment - where Joy becomes "about" something - and it is joined by Knowledge, that unmediated reflection of the Other in your mind. And there you are, with the light of the world in  your eyes.   We laughed at Joe because he was so sturdy and loud and generous; at Grace because she was so intense, so gleeful, and so charming; at Abbey because she was so imaginative and sensitive and exacting; at Maggie because she was so motherly, knowing, and capable; at me because I was so flaky and clumsy and brainy. And it stung a little, but not much. I laughed at myself that night, and my mother told me it was a gift.    The light of the world in my mother's eyes. And I'm still laughing - at myself, at a worldful of siblings.    Just after my mother passed away, I dreamt that I saw her. She stood looking in the opposite direction to me, and her appearance had changed, but I knew her at once. The flavor of her presence was unmistakable.    My theory of literature is complex and growing, but the heart of it is Delight. If you can feel delight about something, there must be some genuine virtue in it. (People approve of things which are worthless because, given their learned beliefs and philosophies, they feel they ought to. You cannot feel Delight because you ought to.)    Having awoken to the taste of some virtue, you can recognize it again, and grow in your knowledge of it. You can recognize another book which will do it for you. Most importantly, you've recieved an upgrade in your whole quality of being, so that you want to taste that virtue again.   So one good book leads to another; one good poem to another; one good song or picture or play to another. You will notice defects when you engage in such contemplation, but they will not monopolize your vision if your inner eye is drawn toward virtue first.   That's why I've tried to fill this book with virtues, to elicit Delight. I have not aimed at conflict or checked off bullet points or followed steps. (I am a lover of form, but form never exists apart from that which is formed - from substance, from life.) So I hope this book can find place on someone's trail. (And stay tuned for those mad poets and landscaper elves.)   Sincerely,   Alana Asby Roberts

About the Author:

Alana Asby Roberts grew up running wild in the sweet clover and elephantine snows of rural Wisconsin. After Bible College she became an Orthodox Christian, a wife and homeschooling mother, and an enthusiastic hiker. She writes poems, essays, and stories, and leads poetry workshops on her blog, Curmudgeon In Training.     Alana is a founding member of The Theodora Society, which supports autodidactic women intellectually and examines the theological issues surrounding gender and sex from a traditional but non-fundamentalist perspective. She is currently involved in founding an editing consortium for authors who are self-publishing because their work, oriented toward virtue rather than conflict, is not considered acceptable in the current philosophical climate.     A literary theorist, Alana believes in a "Trail of Delight" that links all good literature and art, so that honest inquirers can find their way to truth through the experience of joy, longing, and admiration.

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Book Description Heart Tree Books, United States, 2015. Paperback. Condition: New. Language: English . Brand New Book ***** Print on Demand *****. Prize-winning author Alana Asby Roberts presents a dozen meticulous stories. Absurd, amusing, and touching literary concoctions handle religion, sexuality, idiosyncrasy and unconscious narcissism with a light and indulgent touch. Polly and the Love-Talker: Because of her limp none of the boys will walk out with Polly. She blurts that she will step out with any man in the Valley - even the Love-Talker himself. You Were My Wife of Fate: Joseph is an infant when his mother publishes a story about his future self. As he grows up, a rumor spreads that the story is actually a prophecy. The Curse of the Spotted Fiend: Bernie and Oofie s marriage is known to be paradisiacal, probably because they had such a godly Courtship. So why won t Bernie take off her nightgown? The Phantom of the Basement: Micky has a burden no fifteen-year-old girl should have to bear alone: she s secretly perfect. If only she could be Normal! Eva The Avenger: It s Fine Arts Camp and the student body is divided into two factions. One preaches that non-artists are still decent people, with admirable characteristics of a coarser sort. The other argues for their total depravity. Eva thinks both factions are intolerably wrong and it s her calling to avenge the less gifted. It Happened in a Generic Japanese Garden: The Hero s righteous facial expression makes The Heroine swoon, people who stick gum under tables squirm, and purloiners run mad. Only Min The Antagonist is immune. The Alternative Affordable Counseling Agency: In this comedy of idiots, six penniless friends set up an unaccredited counseling agency in their basement and take on their neighbors marital problems. The Courtship of Some Courtship People: Sara and Tom have done everything their parents required of them, yet their relationship is being consumed by anxiety due to the strictness of their Betrothal Contract. It s time for these mild-mannered twenty-somethings to stage a long-delayed teenaged rebellion. Getting Good At Bach: Every orchestra, it seems, is the same. There are too many violinists for anyone s comfort and the soloist is a stereotype on heels. The Second Violinist takes refuge in a little-known Bach Cantata transcribed for his instrument but he doesn t realize the music is making it difficult for his hearers to dissemble and deceive. Penetration: Gail fears men but experiences loneliness. Divine Commerce: A sojourn in the realm of Psyche. Baby Vegetable: Mother thinks she s doing a decent job homeschooling her older children in the most classical manner until her youngest is born already talking. Seller Inventory # APC9780692381656

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Book Description Heart Tree Books, United States, 2015. Paperback. Condition: New. Language: English . Brand New Book ***** Print on Demand *****.Prize-winning author Alana Asby Roberts presents a dozen meticulous stories. Absurd, amusing, and touching literary concoctions handle religion, sexuality, idiosyncrasy and unconscious narcissism with a light and indulgent touch. Polly and the Love-Talker: Because of her limp none of the boys will walk out with Polly. She blurts that she will step out with any man in the Valley - even the Love-Talker himself. You Were My Wife of Fate: Joseph is an infant when his mother publishes a story about his future self. As he grows up, a rumor spreads that the story is actually a prophecy. The Curse of the Spotted Fiend: Bernie and Oofie s marriage is known to be paradisiacal, probably because they had such a godly Courtship. So why won t Bernie take off her nightgown? The Phantom of the Basement: Micky has a burden no fifteen-year-old girl should have to bear alone: she s secretly perfect. If only she could be Normal! Eva The Avenger: It s Fine Arts Camp and the student body is divided into two factions. One preaches that non-artists are still decent people, with admirable characteristics of a coarser sort. The other argues for their total depravity. Eva thinks both factions are intolerably wrong and it s her calling to avenge the less gifted. It Happened in a Generic Japanese Garden: The Hero s righteous facial expression makes The Heroine swoon, people who stick gum under tables squirm, and purloiners run mad. Only Min The Antagonist is immune. The Alternative Affordable Counseling Agency: In this comedy of idiots, six penniless friends set up an unaccredited counseling agency in their basement and take on their neighbors marital problems. The Courtship of Some Courtship People: Sara and Tom have done everything their parents required of them, yet their relationship is being consumed by anxiety due to the strictness of their Betrothal Contract. It s time for these mild-mannered twenty-somethings to stage a long-delayed teenaged rebellion. Getting Good At Bach: Every orchestra, it seems, is the same. There are too many violinists for anyone s comfort and the soloist is a stereotype on heels. The Second Violinist takes refuge in a little-known Bach Cantata transcribed for his instrument but he doesn t realize the music is making it difficult for his hearers to dissemble and deceive. Penetration: Gail fears men but experiences loneliness. Divine Commerce: A sojourn in the realm of Psyche. Baby Vegetable: Mother thinks she s doing a decent job homeschooling her older children in the most classical manner until her youngest is born already talking. Seller Inventory # APC9780692381656

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Book Description Heart Tree Books. Paperback. Condition: New. 306 pages. Dimensions: 9.0in. x 6.0in. x 0.7in.A dozen meticulous stories from prize-winning author Alana Asby Roberts revel in the humbling and amusing absurdities of human life, in 305 pages. Religion, sexuality and idiosyncrasy are major themes. Polly and the Love-Talker: Because of her limp none of the boys will walk out with Polly. She blurts that she will step out with any man in the Valley -- even the Love-Talker himself. You Were My Wife of Fate: Joseph is an infant when his mother publishes a story about his future self. As he grows up, a rumor spreads that the story is actually a prophecy. The Curse of the Spotted Fiend: Bernie and Oofies marriage is known to be paradisiacal, probably because they had such a godly Courtship. So why wont Bernie take off her nightgown The Phantom of the Basement: Micky has a burden no fifteen-year-old girl should have to bear alone: shes secretly perfect. If only she could be Normal! Eva The Avenger: Its Fine Arts Camp and the student body is divided into two factions. One preaches that non-artists are still decent people, with admirable characteristics of a coarser sort. The other argues for their total depravity. Eva thinks both factions are intolerably wrong and its her calling to avenge the less gifted. It Happened in a Generic Japanese Garden: The Heros righteous facial expression makes The Heroine swoon, people who stick gum under tables squirm, and purloiners run mad. Only Min The Antagonist is immune. The Alternative Affordable Counseling Agency: In this comedy of idiots, six penniless friends set up an unaccredited counseling agency in their basement and take on their neighbors marital problems. The Courtship of Some Courtship People: Sara and Tom have done everything their parents required of them, yet their relationship is being consumed by anxiety due to the strictness of their Betrothal Contract. Its time for these mild-mannered twenty-somethings to stage a long-delayed teenaged rebellion. Getting Good At Bach: Every orchestra, it seems, is the same. There are too many violinists for anyones comfort and the soloist is a stereotype on heels. The Second Violinist takes refuge in a little-known Bach Cantata transcribed for his instrument but he doesnt realize the music is making it difficult for his hearers to dissemble and deceive. Penetration: Gail fears men but experiences loneliness. Divine Commerce: A sojourn in the realm of Psyche. Baby Vegetable: Mother thinks shes doing a decent job homeschooling her older children in the most classical manner until her youngest is born already talking This item ships from multiple locations. Your book may arrive from Roseburg,OR, La Vergne,TN. Paperback. Seller Inventory # 9780692381656

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Book Description Heart Tree Books, 2015. PAP. Condition: New. New Book. Delivered from our UK warehouse in 4 to 14 business days. THIS BOOK IS PRINTED ON DEMAND. Established seller since 2000. Seller Inventory # IQ-9780692381656

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