The Grievance: A Real Life-and-Death Story

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9780692440131: The Grievance: A Real Life-and-Death Story

In the end will you or your hospital have control over your life?

The Grievance: A Real Life-and-Death Story is a deeply moving personal memoir - much of it in riveting real time - of a husband's cautionary tale of the whirlwind of circumstances, decisions and emotions surrounding the death of his vibrant wife whom he knew and loved for more than 50 years. Just 40 days earlier, she was playing tennis and bridge and doing yoga - then she was gone. She had a living will that specifically stated what medical procedures were not acceptable and it was handed to staff upon arrival at "The Hospital," one of the best teaching hospitals in New York City, where it languished in a loose-leaf binder.

Like Atul Gawande's New York Times bestseller Being Mortal and The Institute of Medicine's report Dying in America, readers will want to add The Grievance to the growing national conversation on end-of-life issues in America. Its intense personal perspective will engage and empower the average person in this very real life-and-death struggle. The experience has turned the author into a vocal advocate for patient choice and quality of life for the dying.

Anyone who has ever loved deeply will immediately be drawn in by the first chapter, the "Goodbye" of intimate and charming recollections, but it is the gripping, colorful real-time text messages between Abrams and his adult daughter, Meredith, and email exchanges with friends that will make readers stay as everyone (doctors and family alike) attempts to unravel the unusual circumstances of a rare disease that eventually takes Sandra Abrams' life.

The Grievance is a record of keen observations and anecdotes about our hospital system that doesn't seem to work as it should, of its humanity and its inhumanity, of our institutions and the knee-jerk reactions of a society still unable to handle death. It is the voice and warnings of someone who has "been there" for those who will be - all of us - if not for ourselves, for someone we love.

Abrams questions why end-of-life in America has to be so brutal and champions necessary change, providing the tools and resources for those who "wish to avoid well-engineered end-of-life traps." Abrams says, "Doctors are trained to save lives at almost any cost, supporting length of life, when they should be trained to support quality of life. The medical default position is to prolong life. The default system should be to honor a patient's choice first in an advance directive that is included in our electronic medical records."

Join the Conversation

Readers who wish to join the growing conversation on end-of-life issues in America are invited to go to the author's website, found inside the book, and share their reactions and experiences. With Medicare now deciding to fund end-of-life conversations, it is more important than ever that consumers know how to proceed in a thoughtful manner. Says Abrams, "Each person experiences death only once and, therefore, is a novice. Hospitals must do a better job in the way they honor and educate their patients and their families on the best way to die. To ignore their obligation 'to do no harm' violates the basic tenets on which the medical establishment was founded. Other nations have discovered how to provide their citizens dignity at the end-of-life. Why don't Americans have the courage to do so?"

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About the Author:

Lawrence Abrams is a retired high school principal in New York City where he worked for several decades to reform public education and became an advocate for the small school movement. Suddenly he was thrust, with little preparation, into America's end-of-life system. Never, in his wildest dreams, did he think he would author a book, but the writing poured out of him as a method to understand and control the hard decisions he and his daughter would have to make to keep their loved one safe from harm.

Review:

“In...allowing us to intrude into the cherished last days of his wife’s life, Lawrence Abrams commits an act of uncommon generosity. He provides a compelling case for the need to transform a medical system that all too often prioritizes longevity over compassion and a legal system that is complicit in that perversion. Abrams arms readers with tools and resources they need to avoid their worst fears about the end of life—and loss of control. I commend The Grievance to anyone...seeking a better way to die in America.” Sarah R. Boonin, Associate Clinical Professor of Law, Suffolk University Law School

“The texts, especially, effectively reflect the back and forth of medical uncertainty and the daily reality of hospital life....an earnest memoir.” Kirkus Review

“Larry Abrams’ book, written from the heart and fraught with emotion, should be read by everybody; for each of us, at some time, will inevitably have to deal with end-of-life issues. We all hope for a quick and dignified death, yet research shows that most often the end is anything but quick and dignified. The author, based on his experiences revolving around the tragic and unexpected loss of his wife, Sandy, makes a very effective case for end-of-life planning. He also very poignantly demonstrates the tribulations that family members face as they initially try to save and then, when they have to, resign themselves to the ultimate death of their loved one.” Stephen Feldman, PhD, Clinical Psychologist

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Book Description No Harm Press, 2015. Paperback. Book Condition: New. Language: English . Brand New Book ***** Print on Demand *****.IN THE END WILL YOU OR YOUR HOSPITAL HAVE CONTROL OVER YOUR LIFE? The Grievance: A Real Life-and-Death Story is a deeply moving personal memoir--much of it in riveting real time--of a husband s cautionary tale of the whirlwind of circumstances, decisions and emotions surrounding the death of his vibrant wife whom he knew and loved for more than 50 years. Just 40 days earlier, she was playing tennis and bridge and doing yoga--then she was gone. She had a living will that specifically stated what medical procedures were not acceptable and it was handed upon arrival to the staff at The Hospital where it languished in a loose-leaf binder. Like Atul Gawande s New York Times best seller, Being Mortal and The Institute of Medicine s report Dying in America, readers will want to add The Grievance to the growing national conversation on end-of-life issues in America. The intense personal perspective will engage and empower the average person in this very real life-and-death struggle. Anyone who has ever loved deeply will immediately be drawn in by the first chapter, the Goodbye of initmate and charming recollections, but it is the gripping, colorful real-time text messages between Abrams and his adult daughter, Meredith, and email exchanges with friends that will make readers stay as everyone (doctors and family alike) attempt to unravel the effects of a rare disease that eventually takes Sandra Abrams life. The Grievance is a record of keen observtions and anecdotes about our hospital system that doesn t seem to work as it should, of its humanity and inhumanity, of our institutions and the knee-jerk reactions of a society still unable to handle death. It is the voice and warnings of someone who has been there for those of us who will be--all of us--if not for ourselves, for someone we love. Abrams questions why end-of-life in America has to be so brutal and champions necessary change, providing the tools and resources for those who wish to avoid well-engineered end-of-life traps. Abrams says Doctors are trained to save lives at almost any cost, supporting lenght of life, when they should be trained to support quality of life. The medical default position should be to honor a patient s choice first in an advanced directive that is included in the electronic medical records. Join the Conversation Readers who wish to join the conversation on end-of-life issues in America are invited to go to the author s website, and share their reactions and experiences. With Medicare now deciding to fund end-of-life conversations, it is more important than ever that consumers know how to proceed in a thoughtful manner. Says Abrams, Each person experiences death only once and therefore is a novice. Hospitals must do a better job in the way they honor and educate their patients and their families on the best way to die. To ignore their obligation to do no harm violates the basic tenets on which the medical establishment was founded. Other nations have discovered how to provide their citizens dignity at the end-of-life. Why don t Americans have the courage to do so?. Bookseller Inventory # AAV9780692440131

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Book Description No Harm Press, 2015. Paperback. Book Condition: New. Language: English . Brand New Book ***** Print on Demand *****. IN THE END WILL YOU OR YOUR HOSPITAL HAVE CONTROL OVER YOUR LIFE? The Grievance: A Real Life-and-Death Story is a deeply moving personal memoir--much of it in riveting real time--of a husband s cautionary tale of the whirlwind of circumstances, decisions and emotions surrounding the death of his vibrant wife whom he knew and loved for more than 50 years. Just 40 days earlier, she was playing tennis and bridge and doing yoga--then she was gone. She had a living will that specifically stated what medical procedures were not acceptable and it was handed upon arrival to the staff at The Hospital where it languished in a loose-leaf binder. Like Atul Gawande s New York Times best seller, Being Mortal and The Institute of Medicine s report Dying in America, readers will want to add The Grievance to the growing national conversation on end-of-life issues in America. The intense personal perspective will engage and empower the average person in this very real life-and-death struggle. Anyone who has ever loved deeply will immediately be drawn in by the first chapter, the Goodbye of initmate and charming recollections, but it is the gripping, colorful real-time text messages between Abrams and his adult daughter, Meredith, and email exchanges with friends that will make readers stay as everyone (doctors and family alike) attempt to unravel the effects of a rare disease that eventually takes Sandra Abrams life. The Grievance is a record of keen observtions and anecdotes about our hospital system that doesn t seem to work as it should, of its humanity and inhumanity, of our institutions and the knee-jerk reactions of a society still unable to handle death. It is the voice and warnings of someone who has been there for those of us who will be--all of us--if not for ourselves, for someone we love. Abrams questions why end-of-life in America has to be so brutal and champions necessary change, providing the tools and resources for those who wish to avoid well-engineered end-of-life traps. Abrams says Doctors are trained to save lives at almost any cost, supporting lenght of life, when they should be trained to support quality of life. The medical default position should be to honor a patient s choice first in an advanced directive that is included in the electronic medical records. Join the Conversation Readers who wish to join the conversation on end-of-life issues in America are invited to go to the author s website, and share their reactions and experiences. With Medicare now deciding to fund end-of-life conversations, it is more important than ever that consumers know how to proceed in a thoughtful manner. Says Abrams, Each person experiences death only once and therefore is a novice. Hospitals must do a better job in the way they honor and educate their patients and their families on the best way to die. To ignore their obligation to do no harm violates the basic tenets on which the medical establishment was founded. Other nations have discovered how to provide their citizens dignity at the end-of-life. Why don t Americans have the courage to do so?. Bookseller Inventory # AAV9780692440131

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Book Description No Harm Press, 2015. Paperback. Book Condition: New. Language: English . This book usually ship within 10-15 business days and we will endeavor to dispatch orders quicker than this where possible. Brand New Book. IN THE END WILL YOU OR YOUR HOSPITAL HAVE CONTROL OVER YOUR LIFE? The Grievance: A Real Life-and-Death Story is a deeply moving personal memoir--much of it in riveting real time--of a husband s cautionary tale of the whirlwind of circumstances, decisions and emotions surrounding the death of his vibrant wife whom he knew and loved for more than 50 years. Just 40 days earlier, she was playing tennis and bridge and doing yoga--then she was gone. She had a living will that specifically stated what medical procedures were not acceptable and it was handed upon arrival to the staff at The Hospital where it languished in a loose-leaf binder. Like Atul Gawande s New York Times best seller, Being Mortal and The Institute of Medicine s report Dying in America, readers will want to add The Grievance to the growing national conversation on end-of-life issues in America. The intense personal perspective will engage and empower the average person in this very real life-and-death struggle. Anyone who has ever loved deeply will immediately be drawn in by the first chapter, the Goodbye of initmate and charming recollections, but it is the gripping, colorful real-time text messages between Abrams and his adult daughter, Meredith, and email exchanges with friends that will make readers stay as everyone (doctors and family alike) attempt to unravel the effects of a rare disease that eventually takes Sandra Abrams life. The Grievance is a record of keen observtions and anecdotes about our hospital system that doesn t seem to work as it should, of its humanity and inhumanity, of our institutions and the knee-jerk reactions of a society still unable to handle death. It is the voice and warnings of someone who has been there for those of us who will be--all of us--if not for ourselves, for someone we love. Abrams questions why end-of-life in America has to be so brutal and champions necessary change, providing the tools and resources for those who wish to avoid well-engineered end-of-life traps. Abrams says Doctors are trained to save lives at almost any cost, supporting lenght of life, when they should be trained to support quality of life. The medical default position should be to honor a patient s choice first in an advanced directive that is included in the electronic medical records. Join the Conversation Readers who wish to join the conversation on end-of-life issues in America are invited to go to the author s website, and share their reactions and experiences. With Medicare now deciding to fund end-of-life conversations, it is more important than ever that consumers know how to proceed in a thoughtful manner. Says Abrams, Each person experiences death only once and therefore is a novice. Hospitals must do a better job in the way they honor and educate their patients and their families on the best way to die. To ignore their obligation to do no harm violates the basic tenets on which the medical establishment was founded. Other nations have discovered how to provide their citizens dignity at the end-of-life. Why don t Americans have the courage to do so?. Bookseller Inventory # LIE9780692440131

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