And Words Can Hurt Forever: How to Protect Adolescents from Bullying, Harassment, and Emotional Violence - Hardcover

Garbarino, James; DeLara, Ellen

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 0743228987 ISBN 13: 9780743228985

Publisher: Free Press, 2001

Synopsis

Citing the pervasiveness of emotional violence in schools, a guide for parents and educators identifies ways in which schools unwittingly support hostile environments while explaining why listening to teens is a key to addressing all forms of violence. 50,000 first printing.

About this title

About the Author

James Garbarino, Ph.D., is the author of Lost Boys and coauthor of Parents Under Siege. He is Codirector of the Family Life Development Center and Professor of Human Development at Cornell University. Formerly President of the Erikson Institute for Advanced Study in Child Development, he has also consulted for the National Committee to Prevent Child Abuse and the National Institute of Mental Health. He lives in Ithaca, New York.

Reviews

Using what's called action research, Cornell University professor Garbarino (Lost Boys) and therapist deLara interviewed students, educators and administrators to probe the issue of bullying in American schools. They've included interviews debunking the premise that kids can deflect taunts and jeers by using the familiar defense "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." Parents, teachers and counselors must remove their nostalgically rooted, rose-colored lenses and listen to teens, Garbarino and deLara say, in an effort to provide them with the safety they crave and need. Positing that psychological stabbings are all too common in adolescents' daily lives and that many of them feel powerless to defend themselves, the authors portray teens who believe they must endure emotional violence because adults aren't going to do anything about it (while others lash out against emotional abuse with physical violence). Although teenagers inevitably segment themselves into social groups, measures can be taken to quash bullying (the authors suggest broadening a student's peer group, lobbying for school uniforms and promoting character education, among other things). The revealing student interviews give depth to Garbarino and deLara's extensive knowledge in the field of teen psychology, and this effective guide will help adult readers truly understand the cruelty and violence present in today's schools.
Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

"Children can make an important contribution, but it's not their job to ensure safety," say the authors of this fascinating examination of the roots of bullying and its devastating effects. Relying on their extensive research at Cornell, the authors write in highly accessible, straightforward language directed toward parents. The chapters identify the "many faces of bullying" as well as typical social groups, common myths about teen school experience, sexual harassment and stalking, behavioral warning signs, school responsibility, and more. Throughout, the authors offer intelligent, comprehensive "What You Can Do" lists that far exceed commonsense parenting advice. Many stories, particularly the numerous student narratives, will shock parents, who will find invaluable insight into contemporary adolescence and encouragement to become involved. Suggest also Zero Tolerance [BKL D 15 01], edited by William Ayers and others, as well as the titles listed in the Read-alikes column "Girl Talk" [BKL Jl 02]. Gillian Engberg
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Childhood angst tends to torment parents as well as children and can erupt into the tragedy of school shootings. These books address such problems from fairly dissimilar perspectives. Psychologists Thompson (coauthor, Raising Cain) and Cohen (Playful Parenting) collaborate with journalist/ author Grace on a sensitive and straightforward advice manual that focuses on 40 key questions regarding the social life of children. Conversational and upbeat in tone, the book is divided into three sections designed to help readers distinguish "normal" social pain from more lasting trauma. The text covers friendship skills, tattletales, racial bigotry, bullying, and personal hygiene and also suggests techniques for building positive leadership and conflict-resolution skills. The issues addressed are drawn from actual questions raised during their workshop/consulting experience. The answers reflect cumulated wisdom about what matters in the life of children from grade school through adolescence, and the book as a whole similar to but more practical than Charlotte Giannetti's and Margaret Sagarese's recent Cliques. In contrast, Garbarino (human development, Cornell Univ.; Lost Boys) and de Lara, a researcher and family therapist, focus on the pathology of mainstream high school life in America. Based on interviews and discussions with rural and suburban students from "All-American" communities and published research, the book debunks myths about school safety and discusses multiple aspects of emotional violence in a school setting, including stalking, bullying, dysfunctional adaptations to harassment, and teacher violations. The authors exhibit an insightful understanding of school cliques (e.g., "hicks," jocks, and "Goths") but tend to be alarmist when depicting daily high school life. However, the research is impressive and generates many valuable suggestions for improving the school environment. The book concludes with resources and readings on bullying and violence prevention. Though Garbarino and de Lara's book is more focused on school management issues, both books are recommended for public library parenting collections. [Thompson's book was previewed in Prepub Alert, LJ 4/1/02.]-Antoinette Brinkman, M.L.S., Evansville, I.
--Antoinette Brinkman, M.L.S., Evansville, IN
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Edition details

• Publisher: Free Press
• Publication date: 2001
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 0743228987
• ISBN 13: 9780743228985
• Binding: Hardcover
• Edition number: 1
• Number of pages: 256