As a society, we have become so accustomed to ego-based emotions like misery, worry, fear, and conflict that we believe these are the norm. This is not the truth, however. We were born to be happy and love unconditionally—it's the gift of self. How can we return to a non-linear state of happiness and peace when everything around us says that nothing is more important than me, me, me?
The Ego-Less SELF is a journey of discovery and a return to the self by "one of the most influential clinical and spiritual teachers in North America." It looks closely at the notion of "spiritual transformation" by first showing readers how the ego develops over time to cause suffering in our lives. Once the ego is stripped away, then the historical pathways to the self—heart, mind and action—can begin to work.
With a broad range of spiritual influences, from the Bible to the Dalai Lama, personal stories of enlightenment, and real employable strategies and techniques, The Ego-Less SELF sets out to deflate the ego to let the true self shine through. Readers will begin to learn how to get rid of resentments, surrender the ego's unconscious programs for happiness, and employ simple techniques to increase contact with consciousness through the right-brain hemisphere.
The road to self is not about trying to acquire anything but rather the willingness to surrender all of our culture's egotistic ways, thus taking us back to that which we are—the purest self. The Ego-Less SELF is the GPS for the journey.
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Cardwell C. Nuckols, Ph.D., is a partner and board member of American Enterprises Solutions, Inc. An expert in behavioral medicine for over 20 years, he has authored more that 30 journal articles, 14 books and pamphlets, and the bestseller Cocaine: Dependency to Recovery and Roadblocks to Recovery. He has received the Gooderham Award for outstanding contributions to the alcohol and drug addiction field and lives in Apopka, Florida.
Introduction
A human being is a part of a whole, called by us the universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest . . . a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.
―Albert Einstein
Begin by knowing that spiritual experiences are subjective and don't use a strict scientific paradigm and thus lack formal objectivity. According to nonlinear physics, there seems to be no such thing as formal scientific objectivity anyway. The pioneers of nonlinear physics were rather startled by their discovery that we are all intrinsically connected, and they turned to philosophy and the spiritual world to explain their findings. Wolfgang Pauli turned to archetypes and the Kabbalah, Niels Bohr to the Tao and Chinese philosophy, Erwin Schrödinger to Hindu philosophy, and Werner Heisenberg to the platonic theory of ancient Greece to understand that we cannot separate ourselves from our surroundings. We are not stand-alone entities; we are in constant interaction with the energy surrounding us. We are continuously emitting and receiving biophotons (light radiated from the cells of all living things) from our surroundings. We are connected to everything and can never be alone. Our mere presence changes the world around us for better or for worse.
Heisenberg's uncertainty principle tells us that any attempt to observe an electron alters it. At the subatomic level, we cannot observe anything without changing it. There is no such thing as an independent observer who can stand on the sideline watching the world race by without influencing it. The Von Neumann formula takes this finding even further by proclaiming that the action of the conscious observer alters that which is observed and the intention of the observer also affects the physical world. For better or worse, each one of us affects everyone and everything around us.
Whether through simple observation or by more complicated human intent, our connection to the energy around us is altered, thereby affecting the outcome of any circumstance. If my intention is positive or loving, the outcome will be more beneficial than if my intention is negative or hateful. What we send out into the world has a way of coming back to us. This is why it is so important to live life with loving intention.
Modern culture has looked to science to solve all of humankind's dilemmas, including our level of life satisfaction. But problems of a spiritual nature demand spiritual solutions that put to use spiritual tools, such as forgiveness, love, acceptance, humility, and surrender. While spiritual problems are not a result of a dysfunction in the brain, they can lead to unhealthy neurobiological changes. Dissatisfaction in life is a problem derived from a spiritual sense of a lack of wholeness created by the human ego.
Science improves and saves lives, but the spiritual domain is where healing and happiness reside. In this book, I present this truth to you from my own life experiences. While it's true that subjective experiences cannot be proven per se, there is a 'knowingness' that comes from walking through the fire and coming out the other end that is of great, if not greater, value than scientific objectivity. The experience and knowingness gained from being a survivor―whether from addiction, depression, loss of a loved one, or other life-altering event―creates an opportunity for each of us to evolve to a higher spiritual plane. When seized, life's tragedies become spiritual opportunities.
The ego is our 'false self,' 'mind,' or 'small self.' It knows of no power greater than itself. It is self-serving and is constantly battling for survival or personal gain. It is always fighting against or fleeing from some perceived fear. It will do whatever it takes to relieve itself of life's 'miseries.' But it always fails. Its self-destructive line of thinking can drive us into maladaptive behaviors designed to serve only the ego. To the ego, no one else matters. The ego is the source of all human misery.
In order for correction to take place―in other words, for joy to replace misery―there must be a change in character. There must be a simple but profound return to the Self―our Divine nature or soul. Reclaiming the Self brings spiritual healing and transformation.
This is a book about healing. It is not about symptom reduction. I will show you how the ego develops and how it causes all of the suffering in our lives. I will also endeavor to show you who you really are: the Self. The Self is God immanent and is the source of happiness and unconditional love. This book is about a journey of discovery. It is about a return to the Self.
At the end of all our exploring, we will arrive where we started and know the place for the first time!
―T.S. Eliot
The Creation of the World: A Hindu Parable
'Now that we have the earth and the sky and the mountains and the rivers and the moon and the stars, we will create man. Where shall we hide the truth of his being from him?' asked God.
One angel said, 'Let's hide it on the highest mountaintop.'
And to this God responded, 'No, eventually he will learn to scale the mountains. He will find it.'
'Let's take it down to the very deepest part of the ocean,' another angel suggested.
'No, eventually, man will learn how to go to the darkest, deepest part of the ocean. Do not hide it there,' said God.
'Well, let's hide it on the moon, then,' said yet another angel.
'No, eventually he'll reach the moon as well,' God replied.
They continued this way for a time before the answer came to them all at once. They knew exactly where to hide the truth where humankind would never look for it: within himself.
This is a very old Hindu parable from the oral tradition that has no discernable original source. In all spiritual traditions, the common theme is that as humans, we are always on a quest to find God and our true Self. To do this, we have a tendency to always look outside of ourselves for the truth, but all of the great teachers, saints, and sages have said that there is a place inside of each of us that is absolutely holy, pure, and divine: it is God, and the kingdom of God is within us. We are spiritual beings and Divine by nature. We are not God, but God is within us.
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