Remembering Well: Rituals for Celebrating Life and Mourning Death - Hardcover

York, Sarah Mountbatten-Windsor, Duchess Of

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 0787955078 ISBN 13: 9780787955076

Publisher: Jossey-Bass Inc Pub, 2000

Synopsis

Remembering Well offers family members, clergy, funeral professionals, and hospice workers ways to plan services and rituals that honor the spirit of the deceased and are faithful to that person's values and beliefs, while also respecting the needs and wishes of those who will attAnd the services. It is an essential resource for anyone who yearns to put death in a spiritual context but is unsure how to do so-including both those who have broken with tradition and those who wish to give new meaning to the time-honored rituals of their faith.

The real-life stories, examples, and practical guidelines in this book address a wide array of important issues, including the difficult decisions that survivors must make quickly when a death occurs-and the sensitive topic of family alienation, where possibilities for healing, forgiveness, and hope are explored. The invaluable insights offered here will help those who grieve to prepare mind and spirit for life's final rites of passage.

About this title

About the Author

SARAH YORK As a Unitarian Universalist Minister (MDiv, Harvard Divinity School), Sarah York has been involved in planning many funerals and memorial services. She has served three diverse congregations in the past eighteen years and currently resides near Asheville, North Carolina.

From the Back Cover

Give sorrow words. The grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'erfraught heart and bids it break.
Macbeth, Act IV, Scene 3
William Shakespeare

At times of death and grief, the task of planning a funeral or memorial service often falls to survivors who are unprepared to think about such an event-especially if they are alienated from formal religious traditions or from their families. Nevertheless, those who mourn need to give voice to their sorrow. The grief that does not "speak" in some way-through crying, talking, rituals, tributes, or creative expression-remains unresolved.

For centuries, religious traditions have provided society with rituals for expressing such feelings and finding peace. But for many people today, those rituals have become empty, awkward, or irrelevant.

Remembering Well offers family members, clergy, funeral professionals, and hospice workers ways to plan services and rituals that honor the spirit of the deceased and are faithful to that person's values and beliefs, while also respecting the needs and wishes of those who will attend the services. It is an essential resource for anyone who yearns to put death in a spiritual context but is unsure how to do so-including both those who have broken with tradition and those who wish to give new meaning to the time-honored rituals of their faith.
The real-life stories, examples, and practical guidelines in this book address a wide array of important issues, including the difficult decisions that survivors must make quickly when a death occurs-and the sensitive topic of family alienation, where possibilities for healing, forgiveness, and hope are explored. The invaluable insights offered here will help those who grieve to prepare mind and spirit for life's final rites of passage.

An essential resource for all who yearn to put death in a spiritual context but are unsure how to do so

"All persons touched by the death of loved ones, and the friends and professionals summoned to shelter and encourage them, will benefit greatly from this comprehensive and compassionate, gifted and grace-filled book."
Bill Wallace, rector, Emmanuel Church in the City of Boston, and founder of the nation's first acute inpatient AIDS hospice, The Hospice at Mission Hill

"Sarah York knows the terrain of the human heart. Her capacity to assess cultural hungers and her imaginative development of meaningful rituals that combine ancient forms with new sensibilities is outstanding. Remembering Well is a gem to treasure and use."
Sharon Daloz Parks, coauthor, Common Fire: Leading Lives of Commitment in a Complex World

"A unique and remarkable gift for those who suffer a devastating loss and don't know where to turn or what to do. Make sure you have it on your shelves for a very, very rainy day."
Forrest Church, author, Lifecraft: The Art of Meaning in the Everyday

"In this beautifully written book, Sarah York teaches us how to be courageous in the face of death. I would trust her with my grief."
Sylvia Ann Hewlett, economist and writer, fellow, Center for the Study of Values in Public Life, Harvard Divinity School

"Sarah York's book offers the compassionate guidance we need when grieving to heal our hearts. I can't recommend this book highly enough."
Jennifer Louden, author, The Women's Comfort Book and The Comfort Queen's Guide to Life

From the Inside Flap

Give sorrow words. The grief that does not speakWhispers the o'erfraught heart and bids it break.Macbeth, Act IV, Scene 3William ShakespeareAt times of death and grief, the task of planning a funeral or memorial service often falls to survivors who are unprepared to think about such an event-especially if they are alienated from formal religious traditions or from their families. Nevertheless, those who mourn need to give voice to their sorrow. The grief that does not "speak" in some way-through crying, talking, rituals, tributes, or creative expression-remains unresolved.For centuries, religious traditions have provided society with rituals for expressing such feelings and finding peace. But for many people today, those rituals have become empty, awkward, or irrelevant.Remembering Well offers family members, clergy, funeral professionals, and hospice workers ways to plan services and rituals that honor the spirit of the deceased and are faithful to that person's values and beliefs, while also respecting the needs and wishes of those who will attAnd the services. It is an essential resource for anyone who yearns to put death in a spiritual context but is unsure how to do so-including both those who have broken with tradition and those who wish to give new meaning to the time-honored rituals of their faith.The real-life stories, examples, and practical guidelines in this book address a wide array of important issues, including the difficult decisions that survivors must make quickly when a death occurs-and the sensitive topic of family alienation, where possibilities for healing, forgiveness, and hope are explored. The invaluable insights offered here will help those who grieve to prepare mind and spirit for life's final rites of passage.

Reviews

This book is a treasure for religious leaders and ordinary people who face the challenges of grief and mourning. Without offering pat answers, religious dogma or platitudes of any kind, the author, a Unitarian-Universalist minister who has served congregations for 18 years, provides heartfelt stories and wise words to guide the reader through the many kinds of issues that surface when a loved one has died. She speaks eloquently of the need to give authentic expression to grief and offers practical guidelines for planning a memorial service that involves the mourners and suits the unique context and person whose life is being remembered. Her chapter on the difficulty of making decisions in the face of death equips the reader to help others make hard choices when they feel most overwhelmed and vulnerable. Her discussion of "family ties and family lies" is refreshingly realistic, yet compassionate. York also reminds readers to acknowledge the need for rituals for the first year and beyond, rather than submitting to our culture's pressure to quickly return to life as usual. She provides a broad spectrum of resources, including poetry, suggestions for ritual and wisdom from various religious traditions. This valuable guide will prove particularly helpful for those who do not identify with any one religious tradition, yet are looking for a spiritually vital way of coping with their grief. (Oct.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

No one dies opportunely, nor are the bereaved, no matter how much a death is anticipated, ever truly prepared. Thus memorial services are usually created at a time of stress and loss. When religion provides safe harbor, it is possible to simply defer to tradition. But increasingly, families want something more than a canned service with a minister mouthing conventional reassurances. They want something that expresses the uniqueness of the deceased. In addition, a large number of Americans find no comfort in traditional religion. For them, a standard religious service is deeply inappropriate. York offers sage advice for both types of mourner. A Unitarian Universalist minister, she addresses life's ending in a direct and moving way. Emphasizing that memorial services are a necessary part of the grieving process, she leads the reader through questions both practical, such as whether to inter or scatter ashes, and emotional, such as how to acknowledge violence and anger. Dozens of stories of individual rituals serve as inspiring examples of how a uniquely fitting memorial--one that will bond and sustain those left behind--may be crafted. Patricia Monaghan
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Edition details

• Publisher: Jossey-Bass Inc Pub
• Publication date: 2000
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 0787955078
• ISBN 13: 9780787955076
• Binding: Hardcover
• Edition number: 1
• Number of pages: 216