You Can Choose To Be Happy: "Rise Above" Anxiety, Anger, and Depression

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9780965337717: You Can Choose To Be Happy:

The timeless 1998 book (ISBN 0965337715-the First Edition) received such glowing feedback from readers, and was the basis for research leading to the 2010 REVISED EDITION (ISBN 9780965337724) which includes Research Results from 3400 people completing the Success and Happiness Attributes Questionnaire (SHAQ) and from other research strongly supporting the ideas in the book. It also has additional sections on Interpersonal Skills, updated research, and other revisions. Available on Amazon and Kindle--search Amazon.
* Do you want to discover the causes of happiness and unhappiness?
* Would you like to develop greater self-esteem?
* Do you want a more positive, but realistic, view of the world?
* Would you like to learn how to achieve more mental control over emotions such as anxiety, anger, guilt, and depression?
* Do you worry too much about pleasing others, rejection, or gaining approval?
* Are you too dependent on others for your happiness? * Would you like to get more internal control of your life or become more assertive? * Are you too codependent (take too much responsibility for others)?
* Do you want to improve your ability to motivate yourself, achieve your goals, and have a greater impact on the world?
* Would you like to feel less stress and make your time more productive?
* Would you like to advance in your journey to self-actualization (be more like self-actualizing people, who are extremely happy and productive)? Overcome stress, low motivation, unhappiness, loneliness, codependency, shyness, emptiness, and negative thinking. Develop self-esteem, assertiveness, emotional control, time-management, confidence, spiritual harmony, success, and self-actualization.
If you want to maximize your happiness, this book is for you!
Many books may help you with some of these issues. How is this book different? Readers of prepublication copies say that it really works. Dr. Tom Stevens is not the type of author who just writes about what others have done. Dr. Stevens' knowledge about how to be happy--despite difficult circumstances--comes from helping hundreds of clients as a licensed psychologist, from his years of study and research, and from his own life. He lives the ideas he writes about. He views emotional problems from philosophical-spiritual, psychological, and personal perspectives. He considers his greatest accomplishments to be a happy life, a wonderful marriage, and his contributions to the happiness of others. He believes we can learn to do what we enjoy or enjoy what we do. His unusual background and experience has helped him assemble one of the most complete and up-to-date books about HOW TO BE HAPPY.
This book is for people who are serious about being happy. You can develop your inner power to "rise above" negative emotions, and You Can Choose To Be Happy. Each chapter is packed with valuable information about how to be happy even in the most difficult circumstances--even if you have a history of unhappiness or depression. The book is especially for people who value self-growth and development to become happier healthier people. It teaches how to explore deep causes of stress and unhappiness and how to find alternative routes to happiness no matter what the situation is. It explores underlying beliefs that lead to pessimism versus realistic optimism.
People often look for a book about how to overcome past low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, procrastination, shyness, lack of assertiveness, or other specific problems. However, these problems are often just symptoms of deeper beliefs that cause the person to think or act dysfunctionally. What is "broken" usually isn't just a habit, but one's basic beliefs. In contrast to the specific, problem-oriented approaches of many books on the

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From the Publisher:

How much can you control your happiness? Could you overcome almost any circumstances and still be happy? Could you be happy even if you were flat on your back in a full-body cast for over a year (unable to watch TV or read)? Read how Genevieve did. She discovered how to create active, positive mental states. Later, she said, "That was the happiest year of my life--I learned to love myself and get control of my life. Before that year, she feared doing what she really wanted. Afterward, she had much higher self-esteem and assertiveness, changed careers, and eventually obtained her doctorate in counseling. You will read many other true stories of exactly how people overcame all kinds of difficult situations to find happiness. They key is how they got mental control of the situation.

Each day, we are harassed by negative inputs that get their sting from our underlying fears. We hate reading about gang killings because we fear for our own safety. We hate reading about a recession out of fear for our own financial security. Underneath small daily anxieties lay major, unresolved sources of anxiety--such as fears of poverty, loneliness, failure, sickness, or death.

One attempt to feel better is refusing to read the newspaper and block out all thoughts about the possibilities of poverty or death. However, that solution is only temporary. Dr. Stevens shows that the secret to overcoming fears is to dig down into our basic beliefs about ourselves, our world, and the meaning of life. These basic beliefs generate our positive or negative thoughts.

Readers learn to see life from new points-of-view that are hardier than their old ones. More constructive beliefs will triumph if they are believable and if they produce the most fruit (of happiness).

Chapter 3 teaches about your natural Higher Self the part that wants to be happy and naturally loves you unconditionally. Your Higher Self can be your inner "hero" in time of need, and it can help you become a more integrated, peaceful person. You can resolve motivational conflicts such as "work" versus "play" or "pleasing others" versus "pleasing self." You can learn how to accept your past mistakes and parts of yourself that you disown. You can improve your self-esteem and self-confidence by following the clear step-by-step instructions in chapters 3 and 5.

The big secret of how You Can Choose To Be Happy helps you become happier (in even difficult circumstances ) comes from striking new insights about the causes of emotions. The "Harmonious Functioning Model" of emotions will teach you how to adjust your emotions almost like adjusting a thermostat to turn up the emotional heat or to turn it down. Learn how to "rise above" anxiety, anger, and depression. See Chapters 7 and 8.

What distinguishes You Can Choose To Be Happy from other self-help books on the market? As one reader said, "Overall, it's the best book I have seen about how to be happy." It integrates many ideas from religion, philosophy, and clinical and research psychology into simple models that readers can understand and use--such as the harmonious functioning model. It presents many real stories of how my clients and I have applied these ideas to create happier lives.

While almost anyone can understand and receive help from this book, it as an "advanced self-help book." First, like Wayne Dyer's Your Erroneous Zones or Maxwell Maltz's Psychocybernetics, it is general in scope it doesn't deal with one narrow type of problem as most books on the market do today. It deals with core ideas that transcend many problem areas. However, as Wayne Dyer's book went into greater depth and reflected the more advanced psychological thinking of its day, this book builds upon more recent advancements in psychology.

Another way it is advanced is that it goes beyond many self-help and recovery books toward helping the reader reach for higher levels of thinking and living. It is not just about overcoming problems. Many people began their quest for happiness focusing on their pain and problems, but are moving beyond problem-orientation to growth-orientation. You Can Choose To Be Happy helps make that transition. Readers can gain increased mental control over their emotions, self-esteem, and life from the comprehensive self-change program built into the structure of the book. This self-development program unfolds chapter-by-chapter.

(Go to the the BOOK EXCERPTS section to see an outline of the Choose To Be Happy Self- Development plan.)

The many personal and client examples presented in the book can help the reader learn how to make these ideas work in their lives. Readers say that knowing these ideas were written by someone who has found them successful in his own life and in the lives of his clients gives them more hope. One reader wrote, "It gave me practical advice on how to implement the ideas. The step-by-step instructions were a rare and invaluable component."

From the Author:

What if you could be a little happier the rest of your life as a result of reading one book? Would you read it? I can't guarentee that result, but I expect that reading You Can Choose To Be Happy and living by its ideas can make a significant and lasting difference in your happiness. Even if you have a long history of unhappiness or depression or if you are facing difficult circumstances, it is possible for you to become a happy person. Many of my growth-oriented clients have been people who were previously abused by parents or peers, were former substance abusers, or were people who have had to take care of themselves--with little emotional support--for many years. They have learned how to achieve even greater levels of productivity and happiness. Many other clients have had relationship problems or have suffered from relationships that have ended. They learned how to be happier alone, become more assertive, and become more attractive to people who want an independent, happy person. Some clients are basically happy people who learn how to become happier. The secrets to all of these clients' improvements and to my own happy life are contained in this book.

You also learn how to become more self-actualized. Dr. Abraham Maslow's concept of self-actualization is still the best description of the healthy personality. Self-actualizing people are both extremely happy and productive. No matter what your background and personal history is, you can learn the basic beliefs and life skills it takes to be happy and more self-actualized.

You can learn to adjust your emotions like adjusting a thermostat. Learn the six CHUG-OF Harmonious Thinking strategies to get mental control over your emotions. When you are emotionally "too hot"--in overarousal states like anger and anxiety, you can turn down the thermostat to gain peace and calmness. When you are emotionally "too cold"--in underarousal states like boredom and depression, you can turn up the heat to get more energy and enthusiasm. Learn to spend more of your life "in the zone" of harmonious functioning.

Improve relationships--overcome dependency, nonassertiveness, and external dontrol. Another important ingredient of happiness is our personal relationships--especially intimate ones. Are you dominating or being dominated? How often do you do something for another person out of "duty," "obligation," because you "should," or out of guilt? How much freedom do you feel? How much closeness and intimacy? Have you achieved "independent intimacy?"

My wife Sherry and I rarely do anything for each other out of obligation. We almost always do whatever we do because we genuinely want to. You can eliminate most of the obligation from your relationships, but you may need a new way of thinking. You may also need to learn better communication methods. Try the methods in this book that have worked for us and our clients. The result is a mutual feeling of freedom, love, and intimacy.

This Is a Comprehensive, Advanced Self-help Book. It can be read, understood, and used successfully by almost anyone. I designed it for the type of people that I see most often in my classes, workshops, and psychotherapy. My primary goal is that by reading this book you will be a happier person. If you are happier, you will radiate that happiness to others and make the world a happier place for others as well. I wish you a happy life!

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Tom G. Stevens
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