Humour David Martin My Friend W

ISBN 13: 9780974627021

My Friend W

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9780974627021: My Friend W

My Friend W, complete with word games, cartoons, and the short essays that put David Martin on the map, is a lighthearted romp through the last four years of U.S. politics. Martin's satire has appeared in the op-ed and political pages of The New York Times, The Washington Post, The L.A. Times, The Ottawa Citizen and other leading newspapers in Canada and the United States.

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Excerpt. Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.:

FOREWORD

Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
June 1, 2004

President George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D. C.
U. S. A.

Dear Mr. President:

I’m writing a book about you entitled My Friend W. It’s a short humor collection based on the conceit that you are, in fact, my friend. I plan to include, among others, pieces comparing you to John Quincy Adams, the Godfather and other historical and Hollywood celebrities.

Now you and I both know that we are not friends. Not that we couldn’t be. We’re both fifty-something baby boomers who were born into a life of privilege. Well, actually, I wasn’t born into a life of privilege. But I’m sure I could have been if your generous tax cuts had been in place for my family in the 1950s.

Anyway, to make a long story short, my book’s coming out soon and I’m looking for some publicity to help sales. And one way to boost sales is with those snappy blurbs on the back cover. You know the ones. Like "Best Presidential satire since Vaughn Meader" or "Skewers Bush like no one before."

Of course, it would be unfair to ask you to be too effusive in your praise, but something simple like "I’m pleased to recommend my friend Dave’s book," or "This book made me re-think my entire domestic policy," would be much appreciated.

Looking forward to hearing from you and becoming

Your friend,

Dave

P. S. If it helps, I didn’t vote for Al Gore. In fairness, I didn’t vote for you either.

Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
July 1, 2004

President George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D. C.
U. S. A.

Dear Mr. Bush:

Thank you so much for your timely reply. It’s not quite what I was looking for but it’s a start.

As I mentioned in my last letter (copy enclosed), I was hoping for a nice snappy blurb to use on the back cover of the book. You’ve probably seen a few of them in your days like the ones on the backs of Zane Grey westerns or foreign policy treatises by Paul Wolfowitz.

The thing is, hard as my publisher and I have tried, we haven’t been able to do much with "I appreciate your interest" or "Enclosed please find a picture of The White House."

To make this easy and to speed things up (our publishing deadline is soon!!), could you please just check off one of these suggested blurbs and return this letter in the enclosed stamped, self-addressed envelope:

____ Best hatchet job since Al Franken’s.
____ Makes Michael Moore look like a pussycat.
____ I’m proud to call Dave Barry my friend.

Thanks again and thank you for being you. Without your special talents, this book would never have been possible.

Your friend in waiting,

Dave

P. O. Box 601
Guantanamo Bay, Cuba
Aug 1, 2004

President George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D. C.
U. S. A.

Dear George:

I think there’s been a terrible, terrible mistake. I expected to receive your reply by return post. Instead, a couple of burly RCMP officers came to visit me. They showed me copies of my first two letters to you, and the next thing I know, I’m in Cuba in an open air cage with a prayer mat and a copy of the Koran.

Anyway, enough about me. The one I’m really worried about is my publisher. The publication date is soon and not only does he not have a back page blurb from you, it looks like he may not have an author to do interviews and a book tour.

You know what? Forget about the blurb. If you could just put in a kind word for me with that guy John Ashcroft, maybe I could get back to Canada and start writing a humor book about John Kerry.

Whatta you say, Mr. President? Deal?

Your future friend,

Dave

From Publishers Weekly:

In this inane collection of political satire, Canadian columnist Martin offers up short comic pieces in which the choice of offbeat form constitutes virtually the only creatively intriguing element. The result is a lot of high-concept formatting, with the humor content remaining labored, toothless and obvious. "Al Gore's Xmas Wish List," for example, starts with "Freedom of information recounts in Florida that show an overwhelming number of under-votes for me." "The Gospel According to Karl Rove" intones: "Blessed is the Christian right, for they shall be called my electoral base." A Martha Stewart cookbook supposedly has a recipe for "Conflict of Interest Casserole," while still another cookbook parody features "John Ashcroft's Constitutional Purée" and "Colin Powell's Misgiving Turkey." A list of Bush's favorite birthday party games includes "Pin the Blame on the Democrats." Yes, the satire is that bad. Incredibly, editors from the New York Times and the Washington Post bought some of these bland, thuddingly unfunny pieces for their op-ed pages.
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