The Youngest Light: A Journey Back to the Self

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9780975507209: The Youngest Light: A Journey Back to the Self

As a child growing up in Taiwan, Jane was indoctrinated in the culture of "The Twenty-Four Filial Exemplars". The exemplars were glorified by just how far they would go to sacrifice for and honor their parents. But Jane was born in a different era. She had to look for other ways to show that she was worthy of being a daughter. So she gave up her free will. She behaved how she was told to behave; she thought what she was told to think. Jane was told that no matter how "American families" acted, she was part of a Chinese family. She would abide by Chinese family rules. She obeyed and kept the rage of a little girl locked deep within herself. Until one day, the little girl could no longer contain the rage inside. Jane had to make a choice: Stay as her parents' daughter or reclaim her free will - and her will to live. This is an unflinching first-person account of emotional abuse and depression written as a mosaic of prose and essays. It tells of the dreams that unleashed the ghosts of the past, hymns of human resilience in the face of generations of domestic violence, and a long-awaited homecoming to the Self.

Readers have said:

"I was moved in reading it: moved by your consistent courage and determination to heal in the face of staggering obstacles, moved by the intimacy of your story and your courage to tell it. I got to know you on a deeper level as I read."

"...What you wrote in The Youngest Light, Jane, is both precious and brave."

"...I was very moved by your book, Jane, and absolutely empathize with your discomfort... hats off to you, for doing a very brave and generous thing."

"...this is an amazing book. I was again touched deeply by her honesty and her prose. She writes beautifully and with great sensitivity about her life, her healing and the places she still struggles. It is a hard book to read perhaps because her struggles so mirror some of my own."

"synopsis" may belong to another edition of this title.

From the Author:

When I first set out to write this book, I thought I was writing a different book.

I thought I would write about my journey through clinical depression, how I was helped by medication and psychotherapy, and specifically, how the strange dreams (often spiritual with animal themes) I was having played a large part in the healing process.

I started out writing a "synopsis". I wrote predictably, about how depression affected most of my adolescent and early adult life.

But as I kept writing, something happened.

Other stories started coming out. These were stories before I knew that I had depression, stories about my childhood, specifically, the anger and rage that slowly built up over time until I could no longer contain them.

Instead of writing a personal story about depression, I wrote a memoir about a child. This memoir is about that child's experience with emotional abuse, how that wove into a life-long struggle with depression, and the long journey home to reclaim her self. It is a memoir about confronting ghosts she has never met, ghosts whose choices echoed through generations of a family's descendants.

It is a memoir about a child who has found her voice. In telling her stories to the adult that this child has become, the child has found her peace. This child can finally begin to rest.

It was only through writing this memoir that I understood that I couldn't have written this book when I originally had an urge to write it, back in 2002. In 2002, I had the impulse and the inkling that this book needed to come into being. But in 2002, I had neither the completeness of perspective nor the emotional fortitude to pull it off.

But it didn't mean that I waited around, doing nothing. No... in the 9 years since I felt this book call to me, I worked very hard.

I asked myself all the important questions that I had never bothered to ask before about life. How did I want my life to be? What did I want my life to mean? What was more important to me in life than success, or was success what was most important? Who was I, really, and how did I know that this person that I was and had become, is really the person I'm supposed to be?

I wrote copiously, practicing my writing skills, all the while asking, "who am I writing this for?"

I always had a sense that when I wrote something, part of its purpose was to get it out of my head and off my chest, for myself to see and scrutinize and question. But I also felt that I was writing for someone else. And I can never tell which part of what I'd written was for whom. My words had become a voice that had been silenced in someone... and I did not know which words matched whose voice. I only knew that different people had found parts of their voice in different pieces I've written, because they had told me so.

This is why I can no longer hoard this writing for myself. Someone else out there may need this as a stepping stone to reclaim his voice, to reclaim his true self.

About the Author:

Jane Y. Chin was born in Taipei, Taiwan. She spent her childhood in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, and came of age in the west in America. She lived in Upstate New York for 16 years before moving to Southern California in 1999.

In 1998, Jane created a personal website to share her experiences with clinical depression. The website, "Jane's Mental Health Source Page" remains one of the internet's oldest personal homepages on depression.

What began as a woman's personal journey to reclaim the voice of the Child-Within become a labor of love to give voice to those who had been silenced by shame and abuse that they had suffered as children.

Jane has a Bachelor of Science degree in microbiology from Cornell University (Ithaca, New York) and a PhD degree in biochemistry from University of Buffalo at Roswell Park Cancer Institute (Buffalo, New York).

She lives in Los Angeles, California with her husband, son, and an old royal ball python named Budette.

"About this title" may belong to another edition of this title.

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Book Description 9pillars, United States, 2011. Paperback. Book Condition: New. Language: English . Brand New Book ***** Print on Demand *****. As a child growing up in Taiwan, Jane was indoctrinated in the culture of The Twenty-Four Filial Exemplars. The exemplars were glorified by just how far they would go to sacrifice for and honor their parents. But Jane was born in a different era. She had to look for other ways to show that she was worthy of being a daughter. So she gave up her free will. She behaved how she was told to behave; she thought what she was told to think. Jane was told that no matter how American families acted, she was part of a Chinese family. She would abide by Chinese family rules. She obeyed and kept the rage of a little girl locked deep within herself. Until one day, the little girl could no longer contain the rage inside. Jane had to make a choice: Stay as her parents daughter or reclaim her free will - and her will to live. This is an unflinching first-person account of emotional abuse and depression written as a mosaic of prose and essays. It tells of the dreams that unleashed the ghosts of the past, hymns of human resilience in the face of generations of domestic violence, and a long-awaited homecoming to the Self. Bookseller Inventory # APC9780975507209

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Book Description 9pillars, United States, 2011. Paperback. Book Condition: New. Language: English . Brand New Book ***** Print on Demand *****.As a child growing up in Taiwan, Jane was indoctrinated in the culture of The Twenty-Four Filial Exemplars. The exemplars were glorified by just how far they would go to sacrifice for and honor their parents. But Jane was born in a different era. She had to look for other ways to show that she was worthy of being a daughter. So she gave up her free will. She behaved how she was told to behave; she thought what she was told to think. Jane was told that no matter how American families acted, she was part of a Chinese family. She would abide by Chinese family rules. She obeyed and kept the rage of a little girl locked deep within herself. Until one day, the little girl could no longer contain the rage inside. Jane had to make a choice: Stay as her parents daughter or reclaim her free will - and her will to live. This is an unflinching first-person account of emotional abuse and depression written as a mosaic of prose and essays. It tells of the dreams that unleashed the ghosts of the past, hymns of human resilience in the face of generations of domestic violence, and a long-awaited homecoming to the Self. Bookseller Inventory # APC9780975507209

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Book Description 9pillars. Paperback. Book Condition: New. 109 pages. As a child growing up in Taiwan, Jane wasindoctrinated in the culture of The Twenty-Four Filial Exemplars. The exemplars were glorified by just how far they would go to sacrifice for and honor their parents. But Jane was born in a different era. She had to look for other ways toshow that she was worthy of being a daughter. So she gave up her freewill. She behaved how she was told to behave; she thought what she wastold to think. Jane was told that no matter how American families acted, she was part of a Chinese family. She would abide by Chinese family rules. Sheobeyed and kept the rage of a little girl locked deep within herself. Until one day, the little girlcould no longer contain the rage inside. Jane had to make a choice: Stay as her parents daughter or reclaim her free will - and her will tolive. This is an unflinching first-person account of emotional abuse anddepression written as a mosaic of prose and essays. It tells of thedreams that unleashed the ghosts of the past, hymns of human resiliencein the face of generations of domestic violence, and a long-awaitedhomecoming to the Self. Readers have said: I was moved in reading it: moved by your consistent courage and determination to healin the face of staggering obstacles, moved by the intimacy of your story and your courage to tell it. I got to know you on a deeper level as Iread. . . . What you wrote in The Youngest Light, Jane, is both precious and brave. . . . I was very moved by your book, Jane, and absolutely empathize with yourdiscomfort. . . hats off to you, for doing a very brave and generousthing. . . . this is an amazing book. I was again touched deeplyby her honesty and her prose. She writes beautifully and with greatsensitivity about her life, her healing and the places she stillstruggles. It is a hard book to read perhaps because her struggles somirror some of my own. This item ships from multiple locations. Your book may arrive from Roseburg,OR, La Vergne,TN. Paperback. Bookseller Inventory # 9780975507209

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