Stories I'd Tell My Children (But Maybe Not Until They're Adults)

3.88 avg rating
( 8 ratings by Goodreads )
 
9780981661759: Stories I'd Tell My Children (But Maybe Not Until They're Adults)
View all copies of this ISBN edition:
 
 

Stories I'd Tell My Children (but maybe not until they're adults)  is mostly hysterically funny, sometimes poignant and profound, often bawdy and always delightful.

The book includes more than 100 stories that span 55 years: pre-school, in school, and after the author had enough school. There's lots of sex, drugs and rock & roll. Even the sex and drug stories are funny.

Some stories were written as  revenge against bad teachers, evil bosses and crazy clients. There are stories about weird relatives, weird food, women the author considered marrying, and the woman he did marry. You'll even learn what his wife had to do in bed to defeat the competition.

Although Michael N. Marcus is a first-year baby-boomer who grew up in the 1950s and 1960s, "This book provides a hilarious look at life for people of all ages who want to roll on the floor, laughing until the tears come." Another reviewer said, "This book is so funny that I nearly peed in my pants. My girlfriend didn't think it was funny, so I got a new girlfriend."

In addition to laughter, the book provides an education. One chapter helps women understand the male fascination with farts and breasts. Another explains how Betty Friedan and Anthony Quinn made 1965 much sexier than 1964.

Other chapters explain the difference between New York and Connecticut mommies, the connection between Sigmund Freud and Groucho Marx, how baseball can be child abuse, how oral sex can be dangerous, what boys don't know about jockstraps and childbirth, the meaning of "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida," the disgusting secret ingredients in the world's greatest coleslaw, how a free dog can cost $100,000, and how the author conducted a test to determine if he attracted crazy women or drove women crazy.

There are four murders in the book, two failed attempts at maiming, one near-electrocution, one paranormal experience, one story about the loss of virginity with an older woman, one story about sex with a 15-year-old girl (who seemed much older), one story about contemplating sex with another 15-year-old girl, two three-in-a-bed scenes, two episodes of paranoid delusion, one offer of sex from a woman who had escaped from a mental hospital, and three frustrating encounters between a horny heterosexual male and lesbians. These stories are all funny, and guaranteed to be at least 80% true.

"synopsis" may belong to another edition of this title.

From the Back Cover:

Reader reactions:

"This book is so funny, I almost peed in my pants. My girlfriend didn't think it was funny, so I got a new girlfriend."

"I loved the chapter with the three-way sex scene. It seemed very familiar. Was I there?"

"I had no idea my uncle was such a stud."

"Who knew you had so much sexual depravity in your past? I'll never look at you the same way."

"How come the 15-year-old girl's father didn't kill him?"

"I never knew sex, drugs and rock & roll could be so funny."

"When does the movie come out? I want to be first on line to see it."

"Having lived through the 1960s, I don't remember much about those days. This book fills in some of the gaps -- hysterically."

"Readers should wear diapers and rubber pants because this book is so funny you're gonna pee in your pants."

"I didn't realize what an A-hole I was back then. If this book wasn't so funny, I'd sue you for libel. Thanks for changing my name."

"I knew the lesbian painter. She was a lousy painter but an excellent lesbian."

"A perfect combination of silliness and seriousness. I worked with you in '72. You remember everything. I'm glad you didn't see me doing anything illegal or stupid."

(Some comments were written about a 2008 book that this 2010 book evolved from.)

From the Inside Flap:

Michael N. Marcus is a first-year baby-boomer, a writer and a businessman. This is his tenth book. He decided to write it when he was in the sixth grade, way back in 1958, and he finished in 2010. He types faster now.

"About this title" may belong to another edition of this title.

Top Search Results from the AbeBooks Marketplace

1.

Michael N. Marcus
Published by Silver Sands Books (2010)
ISBN 10: 0981661750 ISBN 13: 9780981661759
New Softcover Quantity Available: 1
Seller:
Irish Booksellers
(Portland, ME, U.S.A.)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Silver Sands Books, 2010. Condition: New. book. Seller Inventory # M0981661750

More information about this seller | Contact this seller

Buy New
US$ 30.36
Convert currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: US$ 3.27
Within U.S.A.
Destination, rates & speeds

2.

Marcus, Michael N.
Published by Silver Sands Books
ISBN 10: 0981661750 ISBN 13: 9780981661759
New PAPERBACK Quantity Available: 1
Seller:
Cloud 9 Books
(Wellington, FL, U.S.A.)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Silver Sands Books. PAPERBACK. Condition: New. 0981661750 New Condition. Seller Inventory # NEW7.0554645

More information about this seller | Contact this seller

Buy New
US$ 59.99
Convert currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: US$ 4.99
Within U.S.A.
Destination, rates & speeds