Don't Smell the Floss: Amazing Short Stories by Matty Byloos

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9780982148860: Don't Smell the Floss: Amazing Short Stories by Matty Byloos
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Like pop songs that have overdosed on camera cleaning fluid and pills, Matty Byloos's short stories are most definitely NOT traditional ideas on the subjects of love, daydreaming, and the psychological dramas that have become an unavoidable part of the human condition. Byloos, at first glance, appears to share too much; but the information is masked, skewed and filtered through a very weird, perverse universe of characters who play out human dramas underneath layers of oddity. Byloos's characters are confused - they're sad, they're searching - but in those emotional states, they're real, easily identifiable people. Byloos takes the reader behind the scenes of lives we might not normally think about (or even want to think about) but which are no less real despite their clandestine nature.

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About the Author:

Pushcart-nominated fiction writer, internationally recognized fine artist, accomplished musician and former college professor Matty Byloos continues to tour the country in support of his award-winning first collection of short stories, Don't Smell the Floss. He is a frequent contributor to online journals: The Fanzine, We Who Are About to Die and The Nervous Breakdown. He is the publisher and editor of the literary and culture magazine, Smalldoggies.

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EXCERPT FROM: LETTER TO MY EX WIFE IN NEED OF AN EXPLANATION Dear Boo-Boo, I am guessing you have been wondering where I went to lately, given the fact that I haven't been home for a while. So--I am staying with a friend for now, somewhere in the neighborhood, actually, but don't try to find me or anything. I will be looking for my own apartment soon, so don't worry about my accommodations. Hey! I just realized this is really the first time I've written you a letter! I mean, there were of course the little love notes in the beginning, but that was so long ago. Just so you know, I will never be coming home again, and I thought that maybe I would tell you why. I've evolved! Oh my God, finally--I've become someone more complete, almost entirely fulfilled now, so no freak-outs, please. Plus, because the things that have currently taken hold of my attention are relatively new for me, I thought that this letter might give me a chance to put down in ink some ideas about why I have taken such a fancy to my new hobbies. Since you haven't seen or heard from me in about a month, you have to be wondering what the heck happened. Furthermore, because we didn't have sex for the last sixty-four days of our relationship (and I know how you feel about such lapses in what you currently refer to as "momma's little ham glazing sessions”), I am guessing that matters have been greatly complicated in your mind. I know the tendencies of your imagination quite well, what with all those evil gnomes of self-destruction pushing their nubby little fingers around in your cerebral cortex, conjuring up the most unholy of thoughts. After all, I would want and expect the same from you, where explanations are concerned. We did love each other, in my estimation. Maybe you actually even still do! We cut each other's toenails, for chrissake. How much closer to someone can you be?

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Matty Byloos
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Book Description Write Bloody Publishing, United States, 2009. Paperback. Condition: New. Language: English . Brand New Book ***** Print on Demand *****.From Andrew Leland, The Believer: I was kittied to death by these stories. Matty Byloos s fiction doesn t go down smooth, and that s a good thing: his sentences are hot blurts that bust rudely and hilariously into the reader s consciousness. The revelations of Byloos s book are many: I m very glad I now know about Momma s little ham-glazing sessions ; I ll never forget that my couch is like a soap opera. Seller Inventory # AAV9780982148860

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Book Description Write Bloody Publishing, United States, 2009. Paperback. Condition: New. Language: English. Brand new Book. From Andrew Leland, The Believer: "I was kittied to death by these stories. Matty Byloos's fiction doesn't go down smooth, and that's a good thing: his sentences are hot blurts that bust rudely and hilariously into the reader's consciousness. The revelations of Byloos's book are many: I'm very glad I now know about 'Momma's little ham-glazing sessions'; I'll never forget that 'my couch is like a soap opera.'". Seller Inventory # AAV9780982148860

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