The Homeowner's Guide to Greatness: How to handle natural disasters, design dilemmas and various infestations like a champ.

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9780985528706: The Homeowner's Guide to Greatness: How to handle natural disasters, design dilemmas and various infestations like a champ.

Owning a home is a constant adventure filled with infinite challenges. To succeed, it's important to think creatively and maintain a sense of humor. In these pages, learn new ways to make use of your mortgage agreement (i.e. as a stepping stool), how to pick through other people's garbage for furnishings, and exactly what you should do if a tree falls on your house. The advice in this book ranges from the outlandish to the bizarre: whether you've been in your house 20 minutes or 20 years, you are sure to relate to it and get a good chuckle. You might even learn something along the way.

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About the Author:

Jocelyn Jane Cox owns a home with her husband near Nyack, New York, about 30 minutes north of New York City.  She is a freelance writer with a graduate degree in Creative Writing from Sarah Lawrence College and writes about her own home-owning adventures on her website, The Home Tome.

From Kirkus Reviews:

This debut collection of short, comical reflections on homeownership covers everything from decorating to gardening to choosing a contractor.

The book offers informal, good-natured takes on maintaining a home, all aimed at "an activity not usually associated with home ownership: laughter." Cox applies a light touch to wide-ranging topics that are likely to be of especial concern to new homeowners. It's this grounding in reality that makes her writing funny--she understands that "buying a house is likely one of the most exciting and terrifying experiences most of us will voluntarily undertake." The author's approach is chronological, beginning with managing the anxiety of closing and ending with pointers on preserving a home's resale value. "The Art of the Memo," for example, includes "templates" to use when writing to "resident spiders, freeloading geckos, and interloping insects of all kinds." Or, in the chapter entitled "Coping with Emergencies," she discusses the possibility of a tree falling on one's home and advises "retroactively calling out 'Timber!' as if this were the work of an invisible lumberjack, and you're just trying to help out."

An amusing response to the woes of homeownership sure to be enjoyed by anyone who's ever taken out a mortgage.

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Jocelyn Jane Cox
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Book Description 23 Press, United States, 2012. Paperback. Book Condition: New. Language: English . Brand New Book ***** Print on Demand *****.Owning a home is a constant adventure filled with infinite challenges. To succeed, it s important to keep an open mind and to think creatively. In these pages, learn new ways to make use of your mortgage agreement (i.e. as a stepping stool), how to pick through other people s garbage for furnishings, and exactly what you should do if a tree falls on your house. You might be surprised to learn what your design choices say about you and interested to discover just how easy it is to catch poison ivy. This is an excellent and humorous tool for new homeowners and those who are experiencing burnout. Whether you ve been in your house 20 minutes or 20 years, this groundbreaking guide will help you become a better homeowner and quite possibly a great one. Bookseller Inventory # AAV9780985528706

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Book Description 23 Press, United States, 2012. Paperback. Book Condition: New. Language: English . Brand New Book ***** Print on Demand *****. Owning a home is a constant adventure filled with infinite challenges. To succeed, it s important to keep an open mind and to think creatively. In these pages, learn new ways to make use of your mortgage agreement (i.e. as a stepping stool), how to pick through other people s garbage for furnishings, and exactly what you should do if a tree falls on your house. You might be surprised to learn what your design choices say about you and interested to discover just how easy it is to catch poison ivy. This is an excellent and humorous tool for new homeowners and those who are experiencing burnout. Whether you ve been in your house 20 minutes or 20 years, this groundbreaking guide will help you become a better homeowner and quite possibly a great one. Bookseller Inventory # AAV9780985528706

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Book Description 23 Press. Paperback. Book Condition: New. 108 pages. Dimensions: 8.9in. x 5.9in. x 0.4in.Owning a home is a constant adventure filled with infinite challenges. To succeed, its important to think creatively and maintain a sense of humor. In these pages, learn new ways to make use of your mortgage agreement (i. e. as a stepping stool), how to pick through other peoples garbage for furnishings, and exactly what you should do if a tree falls on your house. The advice in this book ranges from the outlandish to the bizarre: whether youve been in your house 20 minutes or 20 years, you are sure to relate to it and get a good chuckle. You might even learn something along the way. This item ships from multiple locations. Your book may arrive from Roseburg,OR, La Vergne,TN. Paperback. Bookseller Inventory # 9780985528706

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