Bonnie Valentine My Cat Wants Me Dead

ISBN 13: 9780989358903

My Cat Wants Me Dead

 
9780989358903: My Cat Wants Me Dead
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The fact that a television show called My Cat from Hell even exists should be a warning to humans everywhere. One journey inside the feline mind can cause fear and confusion. Yet, many of us still love cats and even cross over into the role of the crazy cat lady/person. Why? We are being manipulated by creatures one-tenth our size. Once referred to as Felis domesticus, the cat is anything but domestic. Even cats forced to stay indoors stare out the window, yearning to be on a killing spree taking out every small mammal within a quarter-mile radius. They scowl at humans, shun us, communicate obscenities through growls and tail flicks, shred our favorite things, shit in a box (which they demand be kept clean at all times), vomit on the floor, bring dead or half-dead animals in the house, piss on the wall, scratch, bite, howl, and insist on a full food bowl day and night. Yet we love them and live to serve them. The truth is, most cats are better equipped to survive than humans. They don’t really need anyone: just the means to go out on their own. The reason they stay with humans is that we provide them gourmet foods, toys, treats, supply them with soft comfy places to sleep, and the opportunity to torment us. Cats still believe that they are the deities that the ancient Egyptians made them years ago. We are only to serve and worship them. Once in a while, a cat will show affection to a human, but it is all for its own pleasure and not for the comfort of the caretaker – ever.

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About the Author:

Bonnie Valentine is a technical writer, humorist, and published author. She has written many boring technical manuals and more recently enlightening humor pieces. When she’s not writing, she’s most likely trying to survive the attacks of her cats and other critters. You can visit her at www.bonnie-valentine.com.

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