We hear about it all the time and usually know someone who knows someone who knows someone who found the perfect mate on the Internet. 4ever love can happen on the Net--Right? Maybe. But while your looking, protect your heart. There are some people out there who love to flirt, who crave your love and attention, but are not available. They are gamers/players. So if TIAIL [Think I Am In Love] suddenly pops up in the IM box, don't assume it's true. OLL is a book of suggestions to help you protect your heart until you are sure you and your on line suitor are on the same page. Mara preview OLL
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TURN OFF YOUR TRUSTING NATURE
What can we do to KIR [Keep It Real] on the Net? First of all be careful about believing TM [Trust me].
People can be anyone they want to be and look like anyone they want to look like on the Internet. In real life you can see the sparkle in someone’s eyes when they’re joking with you or you can sense their soul when they’re asking you to TM, not so on the Net.
So whom can you trust? As cold as it sounds maybe you should begin your Internet search for love by trusting no-one, treating all suggestions of love as a flirtation, a game—turning LOL [Lots of Love] into LOL [Laughing out loud]. For many engaging in harmless flirting, i.e., flirting without expectation of more---just for the fun of it, requires putting judgments about relationships aside. There are some who do this easily---male and female. They see the exchange on the Internet as words and pleasure---that's it---no heart.
Real life romances usually go through a similar period—the bloom of attraction---when you need to be cautious about believing everything that is said. So in both OLL and IRL love, you need to allow time to get to know the other person. With that said, it would be wise for those searching for OLL to just enjoy the rush of flirting for awhile believing none of what they read, hear or see; because all of it could be VR [Virtual Reality] and in some cases so far from the truth as to be VL [Virtual Lies].
One Internet flirter I know was bemoaning the fact his "loves" believed what he typed to them. This was prompted by a women believing him when he typed, "Soon we will be together ADN [Any Day Now] but don’t blab it all over the Internet." She saw him as declaring his love for her and disavowing his love of his partner. She actually wrote in a blog [On Line Journal] he denied his partner and told her he had been out of contact, because his partner was mad/jealous of his love for her.
All of which on some level could make sense. But as I read this I was left wondering why would this woman want to help a man "dupe" an unsuspecting woman? But she didn’t see it that way—she was in love.
In response to her believing his words he posted [wrote] on a bb [bulletin board]: "With today's sexual harassment laws, the internet seems to be the last place for flirting . . .yet women are f*cking that up by being over¬possessive and needy!!!" He added, "[m]ost of these babes are looking for a walk down the aisle when all you wanna do is fill a tissue with your spunk."
Needless to say his words crushed her. That is until she forgot them in her thirst for love and invited him back into her Internet life . . . hopefully wiser.
How would I know? She writes about it in one of her many blogs. In addition, it is the norm for gamers/players to not let the game end until they end it—so he reeled her back in and she chooses to ignore he is doing the same to countless women everyday, as well as his laying down beside a woman every night.
This is a good example of the game- remember it. If this is OK for you and it is OK for many on the Internet, then STOP reading further. If it’s not and you are looking for true OLL, keep reading.
The suggestions which follow have nothing to do with those people who just want to flirt---they just want to have fun and that’s OK.
Suggestion 1: Treat the Internet like a bar. Few bar meetings mature into love, let alone marriage. So take everything that is said with a box of salt and allow time to get to know the inputter on the other side of the Net. Step past the flattery of being noticed and begin evaluating the integrity and sincerity of the words you are reading.
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