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After one full year of perfect, honest, dependable house cleaning, our reward was in-hand: our Christmas bonus! My wife Janice and I giggled with anticipation as we removed the decorative holiday wrapping paper and bow, and lifted the lid off the box to reveal our bounty: three grapefruits and three oranges! I sprang from my seat and tore open the client's refrigerator door.
"I KNEW it!" I screamed, pointing to the bottom tray, crammed to the hilt with two giant bags of discounted grapefruits and oranges. Our wonderful Christmas bonus, in the ever-so perfectly wrapped box, for fifty two weeks of sweat and labor, was about $1.67 worth of fruit. We don't even LIKE fruit!
Hi, my name is Danny Praz. For the last sixteen years, my wife Janice and I have owned and operated an award-winning cleaning service. We have entertained our family and friends all these years with often shocking and uproariously funny stories about our bizarre and unbelievably strange clients. I have detailed the antics of our unusual patrons in this work I call "True Dirt: Confessions of a Male Housecleaner." I know you are going to love this book!
There has never been anything like this before, with real stories that are truly one of a kind, including crazy new ideas like:
The "Resenters"--A cleaning client who would rather have a slave! The "Kill Two Birds" Client--A patron who schedules major home construction and projects on their cleaning day! "Cleaning Servicitis"--A plague which causes a client to blame anything that goes wrong in their home on us, even if we were not there! "True Dirt" includes a cast of characters that prove truth is way stranger than fiction, including:
The wicked Mrs. Crab, who made Cinderella's stepmother look like the tooth fairy! The Antarctic personality of Mrs. Da'Ghoul, whose heart was chipped from an Ice Age glacier! The haughty Mrs. Pig, who brazenly sprawled on her bed in the master suite, asked me for a massage, while her husband was right down stairs! Their names have been changed to protect me from their wrath, in case I still clean for them! "True Dirt" also includes more than one hundred anecdotal stories, such as:
The time I unknowingly cleaned up the blood of a dead man! Having a mansion owner call to complain about a missed piece of lint! Bumping into a female client's obviously-used sex toy! Having a crotchety female client refer to me as her "cleaning girl"! Frightening and true ghost stories, biker-chick workers, broken priceless collectibles, knife-wielding psycho clients, intriguing conspiracies, and even death. And you thought all I did was clean...I wish!! Just listen to what the agents who turned me down for representation said:
"Thanks for making me laugh so hard! I really enjoyed it, but it is not for us." -Alan C. Kellock, The Kellock Company, Coral Springs, Florida "It's absolutely hysterical. Pay me $500 up front and I'll represent you." -Ronda Winchell, The Author's Agency, Boise, Idaho "It is well written and made me laugh out loud. But I'd rather you wrote a How-To-Clean book." -Lettie Lee, Ann Elmo Agency, New York, New York Sounds like these people would make great cleaning clients, don´t you think?! But even they liked "True Dirt" and you will too! Order your copy right here, right now! It is the quickest way to get one. It makes a great gift too.
Order now! I know you will want to read about the dentist who "mined" the silver out of his patient's teeth!
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Book Description Xlibris Corp, 2004. Condition: New. This item is printed on demand for shipment within 3 working days. Seller Inventory # GM9781413457032