I wanted to get the message out that any addict could get clean, stop using drugs and find a new way to live. My personal life experience can be a living example to help educate the public that addiction is a humanistic disease from which the addict and family members suffer no matter what supportive opportunities are given. The disease of addiction is completely profound in the aspect that help can only be obtained through a miraculous process of Recovery otherwise known as Grace. I share about the horrors of my life and how wonderful my life has become today. In the spirit of recovery my contribution is exemplified by the selfless effort of helping other addicts find and achieve recovery. Today my goal is to help others unconditionally and to be a part of the solution rather than the problem. My understanding is my contribution will help alleviate the pain and suffering of addicts and those close to addicts by being exposed to this work of art. My motive was to bring to light the love and truth about the feelings of an addict who has found joy, happiness and freedom. This is the recovery revolution that is going on right now. - Chris Keeley CHAPTERS: 1) Dada to the Bone page 4 2) Stomach Pain Basilica page 7 3) The Disappointment page 10 4) Moment of Clarity page 12 5) Roads Not Safe page 20 6) All over the place page 23 7) Harassed but not arrested page 27 8) The Surgery Acute Care Lumbar Hemi-Laminestomy page 29 9) The Bear page 32 10) The Horseshoe page 34 11) Wild Duck page 36 12) The Leica Mishap page 38 13) The Wedding Present page 40 14) Suspicious Activity page 44 15) The Rolls Royce of Awareness page 47 16) A Pickle canīt go back to being a Cucumber page 50 17) Awake and Alive page 55 18) Nine High Schools Without a Diploma page 62 19) Turquoise Sports Car Totaled by a Telephone Pole page 67 20) White Pipes, Weed, and the Wild Coast page 69 21) Going Ninety on Georgia Avenue page 71 22) Woke up in Swaziland instead of Switzerland page 73 23) Three Nasty Letters page 76 24) Three early traumatic events page 79 25) Madness in Rio page 81 26) The Victoria Falls Fiasco page 84 27) Blueblood Reminiscences page 88 28) My poisonous spider bite page 91 29) My First Date with Valerie page 93 30) Opium Dreams page 95 31) The Fire page 99 32) Annaīs Overdose page 101 33) God is laughing at me page 104 34) Davidīs Death page 106 35) The Malawi Incident page 110 36) The Biggest Blow to my Ego page 113 37) Hardest Laugh page 115 38) The Day I quit smoking for real page 117 39) The Third Instance of trouble was Thanksgiving weekend 1974, my first Acid Trip page 119 40) Three Instances of Trouble Part Two page 121 41) Three Instances of Trouble Part One page 123 42) A Story of Continual Denial page 124 43) Coincidences page 127 44) Journal September 1995 page 148 45) A Day in the life of an Addict page 153
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