Self Help: Your Complete Book of Bad Advice for Every Situation in Life

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9781432753146: Self Help: Your Complete Book of Bad Advice for Every Situation in Life
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The Greatest Book Ever Written!*

This book will open doors and push you through them, possibly down a long flight of stairs. Self Help is filled with everything you need to know to completely ruin your life! In these pages you will find the sum total of the author's knowledge, experience and wisdom along with numerous charts and graphs because--let's face it--the author's knowledge and wisdom is unlikely to fill much of a book.

In this self help bible you will learn fantastic new secrets to success that sound like they might actually work! This book will ensure that you finally enjoy all of the respect and success that you deserve! (The fact that you probably do not deserve much in the way of success or respect should not enter your mind at this point.)

Read my book and you too will discover how to be the perfect wife, the perfect dad, the perfect employee, the perfect politician and the perfect idiot! My book pretends to detail how to succeed in business, how to deal with difficult parents and how to have the best sex ever! Put a price on that! I did!

Self Help, Your Complete Book of Bad Advice for Every Situation in Life chock full of poor choices and warped thinking, is the one book the author believes he is eminently qualified to write.

* Says the author's mother

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From the Back Cover:

The Greatest Book Ever Written!*
 
This book will open doors and push you through them, possibly down a long flight of stairs.  Self Help contains the sum total of the author's knowledge and wisdom and is complimented with numerous charts and graphs because--let's face it--the author's knowledge and wisdom is unlikely to fill much of a book. In these pages you will learn fantastic new secrets to success that sound like they might actually work.  This book is guaranteed to change your life, one way or the other.  In its pages you will learn how to be the perfect wife, the perfect dad, the perfect employee, the perfect politician and the perfect idiot. 
 
*  says the author's mother

About the Author:

Quentin Smeltzer (obviously not his real name) grew up in New York, Connecticut and Utah, accounting for a personality disorder bordering on schizophrenia. His philosophy degree provided the opportunity to work in fast-food restaurants, drive delivery vans and make copies. 

In 1984 Smeltzer moved to Manhattan's notorious Chelsea Hotel where he met many celebrities and artists, none of whom impressed him very much. In 1994 he returned to Connecticut where he resides with his wife and son and a dog he does not particularly care for. In 2005 Smeltzer earned his MBA from the University of Phoenix, which made no appreciable difference to his life whatsoever.

In addition to writing, Mr. Smeltzer performs stand-up comedy to decidedly mixed reviews. This is his second book--his fourth, if you count the really awful ones locked in his drawer. This latest book, chock full of poor choices and bad advice, is the one book the author believes he is eminently qualified to write.

"About this title" may belong to another edition of this title.

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