Soil and Sacrament: A Spiritual Memoir of Food and Faith

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9781451663303: Soil and Sacrament: A Spiritual Memoir of Food and Faith
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Part spiritual quest, part agricultural travelogue, this moving and profound exploration of the joy and solace found in returning to the garden is inspiring and beautiful.

A POWERFUL, PERSONAL STORY OF HOW GROWING AND SHARING FOOD PULLS US CLOSER TO GOD

Like many seekers of the authentic life, Fred Bahnson sought answers to big questions like What does it mean to follow God? and How should I live my life? But after divinity school at Duke, Bahnson began to find answers not in a pulpit, but at the handle of a plow. After his agrarian conversion, Bahnson started a faith-based community garden in rural North Carolina to help its members grow real food and to feed his own spiritual hunger.

Soil and Sacrament tells the story of how Bahnson and people of faith all over America are re-rooting themselves in the land, reconnecting with their food and each other, and praying with their very lives the prayer of the early Christian monks: “We beg you, make us truly alive.” Through his journeys to four different faith communities—Catholic, Protestant, Pentecostal, and Jewish—Bahnson explores the con­nections between spiritual nourishment and the way we feed our bodies with the sensitivity, personal knowledge, and insight shared by Wendell Berry and Bill McKibben.

Soil and Sacrament is a book about communion in its deepest sense—an inspiring and joyful meditation on what grows above the earth, beneath it, and inside each one of us.

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About the Author:

Fred Bahnson is a writer, permaculture gardener, and the cofounder and former director of Anathoth Community Garden. The coauthor of Making Peace With the Land, his essays have appeared in Oxford American, Image, The Sun, Christian Science Monitor, and Best American Spiritual Writing 2007. He is the recipient of a Kellogg Food & Community fellowship and a North Carolina Artist fellowship in Creative Nonfiction. He lives with his wife and three sons in western North Carolina and is the director of the Food, Faith, and Religious Leadership Initiative at Wake Forest University School of Divinity.

Excerpt. Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.:

Soil & Sacrament Prologue

Cedar Grove, North Carolina—December 2008


Winter is my favorite growing season. Anyone can toss down a few seeds in June and get a crop, but it takes a disciplined hope to garden in the dark of December. And what rewards. After several frosts, plant starches become sugars. Carrots attain the sweet crunch of apples, and kale loses all hint of bitterness. Turnips become so sugary you can eat them raw.

Mid-morning on the first Sunday in Advent, I stood beside the red-roofed barn and looked out at Anathoth Community Garden. Down the hill the greenhouse was shedding its frost in the first light. Along the creek sat the children’s playhouse, and beyond that the site of our future orchard. But the sight that always drew my eye was the wide expanse of the field itself, a wave-and-trough succession of raised vegetable beds lying dark and still in the low winter light, pregnant with life waiting to be born. Soon I would need to drive a mile down the road to the little Methodist church where my wife and sons would be arriving for the morning service, but first I needed to come here, to this five-acre piece of land that had come to feel like an extension of my own body. Over the past three years of working here I had grown attached to this garden and its people. They had fed me in so many ways. Perhaps too many ways.

I walked downhill to the greenhouse, a Gothic arch structure where we grew most of our winter crops and started all our seed. Heated entirely by the sun and ventilated by wax pistons, it was off the grid. This was my favorite of winter places, my sanctuary; I could lose myself in here for hours. What a thrill I received each morning as I entered this congregation of plants, lit as if from within by the low winter sun. The world outside the greenhouse was nineteen degrees cold; dry and lifeless. Once I stepped across the wooden threshold, the temperature rose to a balmy forty, lush and humid and alive with the earthy aroma of plants seeking light.

The soil here was deeper than in the rest of the garden, the color and consistency of chocolate sponge cake. Even on the coldest of winter days, black organic matter in the soil absorbed the sun’s heat and slowly released it at night, keeping the plants alive. The beds, each four feet wide and thirty feet long, were double-dug. While the topsoil of a rototilled garden descends a mere eight inches, our greenhouse beds reached a depth of at least two feet, mimicking the fertile, loamy soils of the American prairie or the Russian steppe. With such deep beds, roots have better access to water and minerals deep in the ground. Plants can be spaced closer together, quadrupling yield. Thousands of years ago the Greeks realized that plants grew better in mountain landslides. The deep soil there was loose and friable, allowing the roots easy access to nutrients. A double-dug bed is like an underground landslide. Roots flourish in such deep tilth, creating a vast subterranean network that feeds aboveground life.

I spent much of my time at Anathoth preparing and working and thinking about the soil. There is an entire ecosystem in a handful of soil: bacteria, fungi, protozoa, nematodes, earthworms. Through their breeding and dying such creatures vivify the world. This pattern of relationships I find a captivating mystery; I love plants, but I am most attracted to the fervent and secret work that goes on beneath the surface.

Soil is not dirt. It is a living organism, or rather a collection of organisms, and it must be fed. Soil both craves life and wants to produce more life, even a hundredfold.

The true profundity of our soil was difficult to gauge. One day I slid my hand into one of the greenhouse beds. I gently pushed down and kept pushing until my arm vanished and my shoulder touched the soil’s surface. It had seemed then as if I could keep burrowing downward, until my entire body was swallowed by the warm, dark earth.

Soil is a portal to another world.

·   ·   ·

That Sunday morning I was alone in the garden.

Anathoth was a food garden for the community—our sixty members worked the land in common and shared its bounty—yet more and more I had found myself going there at such times to escape people. I was by nature reclusive, yet my role as Anathoth’s director required me to act as a public figure, putting on a smile and chatting up the members, who worked a minimum of two hours a week in exchange for produce. The truth was that I had less and less energy for people—even my own family. Increasingly I felt accosted by so many people needing something from me, and no matter how deeply I wanted to give them what they needed, all I wanted to do was withdraw.

The Sunday morning service down the road at Cedar Grove United Methodist Church would begin soon, but I remembered that there were beds that needed cover cropping; I had a sudden desire to plant. Leaving the greenhouse I walked back up to the barn and reached for the blue hand-cranked seed spreader, opened a bag of rye, and poured in the seed. I mixed rhizobium inoculant into a bucket full of hairy vetch and crimson clover seed, added a few drops of water, and stirred them together with the rye. Vetch and clover are legumes, plants that form a beneficial relationship with rhizobium bacteria. Their roots would supply nitrogen not only to the rye but also to the crops that would follow in the rotation. It’s a beautiful symbiosis: legume roots provide the bacteria with sugars and in exchange the bacteria fix nitrogen into tiny pink nodules that cling like barnacles to the legume roots. The bacteria and legumes serve one another. The rye stalk provides a structure for the legumes to climb, and rye’s fibrous roots mine minerals from the subsoil, reaching ten feet down into the earth. It’s a trinity of abundance—rye, vetch, and clover—each freely giving up its body for the other’s nourishment, each dying so that the other may live.

I knew something of that sacrifice. For years I had labored for Anathoth, but only recently did I realize the toll it had taken on me and my family. There were too many days when I would come back to our farm and instead of being with the family who needed me, I would retreat to my little shack in the woods. My wife, Elizabeth, sacrificed her own needs for the needs of Anathoth, and mostly suffered my absences in silence. But our young sons were confused. “Why does Daddy need so much time alone?” they asked. I had started to ask that question, too.

By early May the cover crops would be five feet tall. When the rye reached milk stage and the vetch and clover flowered purple and crimson, I would walk up and down the beds swinging a scythe, the stalks falling before me, the air growing redolent with grassy perfume, and then I would rake up the cuttings to make compost. First the green layer: fresh rye, vetch, and clover stalks. Then a brown layer: old hay or leaves. The third layer would be a dusting of garden soil, containing the spark of bacteria that would set this biological pyre aflame. In a week the tiny hordes inside the compost pile would expend their oxygen, slowing their combustion, and I would turn the pile with a pitchfork to give them air. All kinds of organic matter could go into a compost pile. Once I even composted a dead field rat; a few months later there was nothing but bones.

I loved making compost. The bright green of freshly mown rye, vetch, and clover; steam arising from the pile on a cold morning; the smell of the forest floor in your hands. There is a secret joy, a kind of charity to be found in this act, transforming a pile of grass and dirt and old leaves into an offering of humic mystery. On those days I became a priest dispensing the elements to a microbial congregation. Lord, take these humble gifts: grass, leaves, soil. Make them be for us the body and blood of the world, holy vessels of self-emptying glory. All things come of thee, O Lord; and of thine own have we given thee. After several months of heating and cooling and turning, the pile of well-cooked humus would be ready to spread onto the soil. Into that I would plant Speckled Trout lettuce, Kuri squash, or Sugarsnap peas, which would feed the hungry people of Cedar Grove. The people’s hunger could be slackened, but it would never end, and all the while the secret life of soil would continue, the gift waiting to be found. Like a ceaseless hymn of praise, this cycle went on with or without you, winter and summer, rain and drought, seedtime and harvest, a process of creation beyond your control that had been in motion since the foundation of the world. It is a song of life that sings even when things around and within you no longer seem certain.

I was beginning my fourth year as the director of Anathoth, and the experience had been deeply fulfilling and profoundly frustrating. The garden was a ministry of Cedar Grove UMC, but only a minority of the congregants worked there. Visitors came from around the country to learn how to build communities through working the land, but some church members stubbornly refused to have anything to do with the garden. Some were afraid of liability. Others feared the garden’s racially inclusive vision for our town.

I was weary of defending the project before our own church, but that wasn’t the only thing. I was questioning what I had for years been certain was my life’s calling.

·   ·   ·

After sowing the rye, vetch, and clover, I walked back again to the greenhouse and stood in the quiet air, letting the winter sun warm my bones. I would be a few minutes late for church, but I could still slip in. After all: when our Lord sought refuge, when his heart was troubled, it was not to the temple that he went to pray. It was to the garden.

The night’s frost evaporated from the broccoli heads like gauzy veils lifting from upturned faces. Dinosaur kale, Napoli carrots, Arcadia broccoli, Bronze Arrow lettuce—these were our winter savings account, available to the garden members for free withdrawal. Carrots grew happily inter-planted with lettuce. Kale, broccoli, and cabbage—all benevolent brassicas—rubbed shoulders good-naturedly. Each crop cluster formed a dark green microclimate of contentment. The congregants of this tiny cathedral thrived in each other’s company. I could not always say the same for our little Methodist church down the road.

The points of overlap between the church and garden were not always harmonious. Many did support the garden. Pastor Grace Hackney was one of Anathoth’s cofounders and often praised the garden in her sermons. The church’s accountant kept our books, others served on the advisory board, and some were regular volunteers on our Saturday workdays. As the garden’s director, I was employed by the church as a minister of the land. But there was also a small group of naysayers on the church’s administrative council, those whose families had owned land here since the king’s grants of the 1700s. They were threatened by new ideas like community gardens, and were adamant that the garden would receive none of the church’s money. I wrote grants and sought individual donations to fund Anathoth’s yearly budget, but when funds would arrive, inevitably someone would ask, with feigned piety, why didn’t we just use that money to buy food and give it to the poor.

But Anathoth was not just a hunger relief ministry. It was a whole new way to be a church. And therein lay the struggle.

We took Anathoth’s mission from the book of Jeremiah: “plant gardens and seek the peace of the city,” and here at the beginning of my fourth year I think we had that mission half right. We had planted a lush and abundant acre of biointensive beds that provided our members with everything from arugula to Zapotec tomatoes; we had planted blueberry bushes, a native plants garden, and a greenhouseful of winter produce. We had planted the events calendar with biweekly potlucks and concerts, children’s programs and community service days for troubled teens. We planted so many things that churches from all over the South came to ask how they, too, could plant such gardens and seek the peace of their city. Anathoth had sprouted from an empty field, and on its best days it afforded a glimpse of the messianic feast, Jesus’s abundant smorgasbord where all were fed. But I’d begun to question if feeding people was truly my calling. I couldn’t bear to see the crestfallen faces of Elizabeth and the boys when yet another Saturday afternoon would come and I would head off to hide exhausted in my hermitage.

Inside the greenhouse I watered the spinach bed, then snapped off a piece and raised it to my mouth. Chewing slowly, I savored the wafer-thin leaf, remembering the summer Eucharist services we held in the garden. How beautiful it was to bring the gifts of the altar out into the fields.

The cold truth that morning was inescapable: I had given myself so completely to this vocation that there was little left over for my family. Work was all I thought about: when Elizabeth tried to talk to me at dinner or one of my boys wanted me to wrestle, my thoughts went to the garden: the Brussels sprouts needed transplanting; I needed to order strawberry plants for the fall; and I couldn’t forget that email to the garden members about our upcoming sweet potato harvest. Anathoth was all I thought about and yet, that work was also draining me of life and energy.

That Sunday morning at the beginning of another Christian year, standing in the greenhouse, I realized I could not stay.

·   ·   ·

The garden is our oldest metaphor. In Genesis God creates the first Adam from the adamah, and tells him to “till and keep” it, the fertile soil on which all life depends. Human from humus. That’s our first etymological clue as to the inextricable bond we share with the soil. Our ecological problems are a result of having forgotten who we are—soil people, inspired by the breath of God. “Earth’s hallowed mould,” as Milton referred to Adam in Paradise Lost. Or in Saint Augustine’s phrase, terra animata—animated earth.

The command to care for soil is our first divinely appointed vocation, yet in our zeal to produce cheap, abundant food we have shunned it; we have tilled the adamah but we have not kept it.

Tilling is, in fact, often harmful to soil structure and creates erosion. Since World War II, as a result of excessive tillage and use of petrochemicals, we’ve managed to squander a third of our country’s topsoil. With the combined challenges of climate change, peak oil, and the global food crisis, the balance of life on earth is rapidly approaching a tipping point. In the ways we grow our food and in the food we choose to eat, we have largely lost our connection with the adamah; we have failed to live in the garden.

Anathoth taught me that to live and work in a garden is to relearn the most basic realities of life. Rather than an escape from the world’s problems, a garden—especially a communal food garden—confronts us with those very problems. Referring to Voltaire’s famous dictum We must cultivate our garden, cultural critic Robert Pogue Harrison says in Gardens: “Notre jardin is never a garden of merely private concerns into which one escapes from the real; it is that plot of soil on the earth, within the self, or amid the social collective, where the cultural, ethical, and civic virtues that save reality from its own worst impulses are cultivated. Those virtues are always ours.”

·   ·   ·

We left the following August, four years to the day after I’d become director of Anathoth, and our leaving happened, from my perspective at least, on good terms. E...

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