Results Not Typical: A Novel

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( 150 ratings by Goodreads )
9781466224650: Results Not Typical: A Novel

Weight Watchers meets corporate satire in this debut novel from the bestselling author of Mousetrapped: A Year and A Bit in Orlando, Florida, and Backpacked: A Reluctant Trip Across Central America Through their Ultimate Weight Loss Diet Solution Zone System, Slimmit International Global Incorporated claim they're making the world a more attractive place one chubby at a time. Their slogans "Where You're Fat and We Know It!" and "Where the Fat IS Your Fault!" are recognised around the globe, their share price is as high as their energy levels and the counter in the lobby says 5,000,000 slimmed.  But today the theft of their latest revolutionary product, Lipid Loser, will threaten to expose the real secret behind Slimmit's success... Aaron, the hunky Director of Security, must find the Lipid Loser or face losing his job. Marianne, head of Slimming Operations, offers to help him, but what she really wants to find is the secret prototype she's been working on, the Much, Much More Muffin. Meanwhile Slimmit founder and CEO Nicola is struggling to stay conscious in the magic underwear she needs to hide her newly acquired muffin top. Her daughter Emmy--overweight and so deemed "unacceptably beyond corporate Appearance Policy parametres"--is pushing paper in Slimmit's basement and dreaming of a skinny life, one she doubts attending Fat Club meetings is going to bring her.   And so the race is on to find the Lipid Loser and save Slimmit from certain disaster. If their secrets get out, their competitors will put them out of business. If the government finds out, they'll all go to jail. And if their clients find out... Well, as Slimmit's Slimming Specialists know all too well, there's only one thing worse than a hungry, sugar-crazed, carb addict--and that's an angry one.  Can the secret behind Slimmit's success survive the day, or will their long-suffering slimmers finally discover the truth?  Praise for Mousetrapped by Catherine Ryan Howard: "A unique book by a brilliantly witty, instantly loveable author... I couldn't put it down." 
 "[A] unique story that proves that dreams really do come true."  Praise for Backpacked by Catherine Ryan Howard: "[The] self-deprecating tone is genuine and grounded in sanity, which makes the voice a thoroughly likeable one." --Susan Griffith, author of Work Your Way Around the World "I read and loved Mousetrapped [and] I wasn't disappointed [with Backpacked] -- Catherine takes the same dry wit and self-deprecating humour along for the ride ... Highly recommended." --Marsha Moore, author of 24 Hours: Paris and 24 Hours: London

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About the Author:

Catherine Ryan Howard is a twenty-something writer, blogger and obsessive coffee-drinker from Cork, Ireland. 
In 2002 her teenage metabolism finally closed up shop, forcing her to join Weight Watchers where she lost 20lbs in three months - and then gained 30lbs in the three months after that. Thus her adventures in yo-yo dieting began. Since then she has tried calorie counting, smoothies, smoking, Weight Watchers again, Atkins, The Zone, South Beach, Dr. Phil, Bob Greene and Dr. Oz (collectively known as Oprah's Friends, Inc.), WeightWatchers for a third time, a personal trainer, Alan Carr's The Easy Way to Lose Weight (it wasn't), Paul McKenna's I Can Make You Thin (he couldn't) and Weight Watchers online when showing up to yet another registration meeting was too humiliating to bear. 
Finally Catherine resorted to joining a very scary cult-like organization that cost a small fortune, forbade her from eating 99% of all food and tried to brainwash her into thinking that decaf coffee was a worthwhile thing, all under the guise of 'behavior modification therapy'. She didn't lose any weight and she almost killed someone (her clinic appointed "health consultant", if you were wondering), but she did get an idea for a novel...


"A hilarious take on the world of slimming products and organisations, written with Catherine's wonderful wit--an extremely enjoyable first novel.", Top 10 Books of 2011

"Packed full of entertaining characters - some you can't help sympathizing with and others you'll love to hate - Catherine's tongue-in-cheek take on the weight-loss industry will be easily digested by anyone who has ever attempted a diet. Highly recommended." -- Talli Roland, bestselling author of The Hating Game

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