The Other Mother - Softcover

Schaefer, Carol

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1468053736 ISBN 13: 9781468053739

Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform, 2013

Synopsis

In 1965, Carol Schaefer was 19, a freshman in college and deeply in love. She was also pregnant. When her boyfriend’s family opposed their marrying, her parents sequestered her in a Catholic home for unwed mothers a state away, where she was isolated and where secrecy prevailed. She had only to give up her baby for her sin to be forgiven and then all would soon be forgotten she was told. The child, in turn, would be placed with a “good” family, instead of having his life ruined by the stigma of illegitimacy. Carol tried to find the strength to oppose this dogma but her shame had become too deep. “The first time I looked deep into my son’s eyes, I felt like a criminal. As I unwrapped his hospital blanket and took in the heady fragrance of a newborn, I feared the nurses or the sisters would come in and slap me for contaminating my own son.”Finding no way out, she signed the fateful papers leaving her son in the hands of strangers, but with a vow to her baby she would find him one day. For years, Carol struggled to forget and live the “normal” life promised, not understanding the consequences of the trauma she’d endured. On his eighteenth birthday, she set out to find him, although the law denied access to records. Her search became a spiritual quest to reclaim her own lost self, as she came to understand the emotional and psychological wounds she and other mothers like her had endured. Against all odds she succeeded in finding him and discovered that in many ways they had never really been apart. With her son’s encouragement and his adoptive mother’s cooperation, she tells their story.REVIEWS: “Strength, sadness, joy, and the power of undeniable love abound in this book.”500 Great Books by Women (A Penguin Books Reader’s Guide, 1994)The list of authors goes back to the 11th century.Nominated “One of the best books of 1991.” American Library Association. “... flows as forcefully as the finest fiction. ... This ‘ten-hankie-read’ never descends into sentimentality but simply reveals the unvarnished truths of the human heart.”Wilson Library Bulletin“This wrenching account, covering a range of adoption issues, is a moving testament to the bonding power of motherhood.”Publishers Weekly“An astonishing revelation of the emotions that come into play throughout the adoptive process - a must read for all concerned.”Kirkus ReviewsLiterary Guild Alternate Selection.“Inspiring ... a heart tugger.”Patricia Holt, San Francisco Chronicle“A chronicle of a time with the starkest of emotions revealed ... Readers quickly understand the trauma that lingers on deep in the hearts of birthmothers every day of their lives.”Elliot Bay Booknotes“It should be a must read for anyone who considers adoption the ‘easy’ answer to an unwanted pregnancy.”The Philadelphia Inquirer“As she experiences pain and love, you’re on that roller coaster with her, as if the life she lived was yours.”St. Petersburg Times“Poignant and powerful, The Other Mother shatters the myth that unwed mothers, unprepared for the sacrifice they make, go on to lead normal and untouched lives.” Booklist“Any woman who has gone through any part of her experience, or has been close to somebody who has, will attest to the story’s authenticity.”The Washington Post“I recommend it with all my heart. Its courage, integrity and love make it a treasure. ... not only for adoptive families and birth families, it is for everyone who longs to know how deep the levels are that connect us, and how precious.”Gary Zukav, The Seat of the Soul“... addresses intimately the experience of a Birthmother as no other book has - or probably ever will. Expertly written.”Jone Carlson, Editor People Searching News“Courageous, moving and heartening.”Betty Jean Lifton, Journey of the Adopted Self“A wonderful book. From my professional perspective the book is right on target.”Reubon Pannor, coauthor, The Adoption Triangle

About this title

About the Author

Carol Schaefer's first book, a memoir entitled The Other Mother: A Woman's Love for the Child She Gave Up for Adoption (SoHo Press, 1991), is considered a classic in adoption literature. The Other Mother is listed in 500 Great Books by Women, a Penguin Books Reader's Guide, a list that goes back to the eleventh century. The book was a Literary Guild Alternative Selection and nominated as one of the Best Books of 1991 by the American Library Association. It has been translated into German and Italian. Adapted as a television movie by NBC in 1995, The Other Mother, starring Frances Fisher, scored high in the ratings with 25 million viewers. The story of the making of the movie was featured in McCall's Magazine. Acquired by the Lifetime Channel, the movie aired many times from 2000 to 2008.The film is now available for viewing on Youtube. She has appeared on Good Morning America, CNN, MSNBC, and many local television and radio programs around the country and in Canada. As an Adoption Reform Advocate, she has often been a keynote speaker and given numerous workshops at adoption conferences since 1991. She has authored three other books, including Grandmothers Counsel the World, which has been translated into 12 languages. She also works as an editor, journalist and photographer. The sequel to The Other Mother is just completed.

Review

In 1965, at age nineteen, Carol Schaefer gave her son up for adoption. Sent to a Catholic home for unwed mothers where she wasn't allowed to use her last name or share personal information, she was told repeatedly that she made the right decision for the baby, that she would soon forget. But she never forgot and remembers the home as a place of great loss. She recalls signing the adoption papers: "The consequences of those signatures would permeate every aspect of my life, my son's life, Chris's [the father's] life, and many, many other lives, forever. I had no legal counsel, no psychological counseling. I was nineteen and alone. I sat for a while, stunned, overcome by my desolation." When her baby was two days old he was taken away, and she vowed to find him when he was eighteen. She married and had two more sons, all the time remembering she had another child, one she might walk past and not recognize. Carol Schaefer's honesty about the social pressures of the times touches deeply: the feeling that adoption was a middle class disease, the shame and secrecy surrounding her pregnancy, and the effects giving up her child had on her self-esteem and future. Strength, sadness, joy, and the power of undeniable love abound in this book. -- For great reviews of books for girls, check out Let's Hear It for the Girls: 375 Great Books for Readers 2-14. -- From 500 Great Books by Women; review by Holly Smith

About this edition

• Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform
• Publication date: 2013
• ISBN 10: 1468053736
• ISBN 13: 9781468053739
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 362