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Toeksie loves cats, she loves mommy, she loves God, but she is not always sure that it is in the right order. She knows that she does not love snakes or the devil. She especially does not love daddy's gin. This is the journey of the inner child, a journey through innocence to the reality of fear and loss. It is the journey of every child who has had to face the chaos of addiction. Toeksie finds a refuge in God, but she is not always sure that he got it right. She thinks that it was not a good idea to turn water into wine and it certainly was not a good idea to make Sundays (that is when daddy really gets up to nonsense). Toeksie is also worried about who will make it into heaven. If Catholics are left out, she will miss her best friend. If Jews are missing, that might make Jesus very sad. What about blacks? Are they really the bad sons who laughed at Noah? Is it worse to laugh at someone who gets drunk, or to get drunk? Toeksie finds God rather difficult, but heaven sounds really nice. How can she deal with the difficult adults in her life and still keep God happy? Is this why God forgot to give her the gifts of the Holy Spirit? She looked so carefully for them on the church floor. Toeksie knows a few things: Blacks don’t like mice Teenagers are bad She mustn’t look at the statue of Mary Her good Granny might die She would not like to meet her naughty Granny in heaven, Can Dedoni, her cat, really protect her from snakes and the devil? More than all of this, she is not allowed to love anything more than God. This can make Toeksie very afraid. Toeksie is everyone's inner child. She gives voice to each person's need for love and security. She faces the world of adults, who themselves never grew up. Religion has become the tool to create a world that is safe. Toeksie's fear, love and loss becomes a moment of freedom. Did heaven really touch earth? What happened one dark night when the devil seemed to be winning?
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